The Guinea Pig 2: My Name is Donatello
by DonnysGirl87
Summary: GP thought once he had found his true father that he would live happily ever after. However things are not as easy as they first appear. Adapting to a new environment, trying to be part of a ninjutsu family is harder than he realised. With a distrustful brother constantly on his case GP has little idea in the shadows a certain 'Master' is planning to reclaim his stolen Guinea Pig.
1. Sleepless

**Okay, I was going to lay off posting this but I have currently mislaid my notebook containing my 'Black Velvet' story and since I have a few chapters of this under my belt and not actually posting anything for a while I decided, 'what the heck!' I'll take the plunge and see what you all think :)**

 **So, here it is, The Guinea Pig 2: 'My Name is Donatello'**

 **Just as a warning this story will be full of angst, hurt and tears, so yeah be prepared my dear readers!**

 **Also I will posting this particular story as 'T rated'.**

 **A short chapter to begin with but I will be posting the 2nd chapter this coming Monday :)**

 **So onwards...**

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GP laid on his bed staring at the dark ceiling as he listened to the monotonous ticking of his bedside clock. He sighed and rolled onto his side, squinting at the time, 3:34AM. "Oh man," he muttered, hanging his arm over the side of the creaking bed.

He couldn't go on like this. Ever since chichi had announced it was time he moved into his own room, GP couldn't sleep. For so long he had the company of his ratty companion Darwin. He recalled the squeak of his wheel, the gnawing on his wood block and the dull rattle as he drank from his water bottle.

A painful lump swelled in the base of his throat and GP pressed a hand to his mouth. He missed him so much. If he'd never sent him into that vent...

GP sniffed wretchedly and hugged his knees as he drew them up to his chin. He could still hear that electrical zap and the pain filled squeak.

He couldn't sleep on his own! He hated to admit it but it was true. Since he had been brought here 8 months ago, he had spent every night in the dojo next to chichi's room. The gentle sound of the giant rat's breathing he had found just as comforting as poor Darwin's nocturnal activities. But even now that was gone.

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

GP was quickly developing a deep loathing for that stupid clock. He glared across at it, he was starting to understand why Raphael destroyed so many of them.

GP abruptly stood up, pulled on his clothes and laced up his mask. He grabbed up the blanket from his bed and crept silently from his room. He was still getting used to finding the door unlocked.

Quietly he slipped across the lair and up the dojo's steps. He was about to creep in when he stopped. He could hear Raphael's mocking voice in his ears. He couldn't face that, not again. 'The baby who want's to sleep in daddy's room,' wasn't a taunt he wished to hear anytime soon.

With a sigh of resignation GP turned on his heel and slumped down the stairs. He made his way to the lowered seating area, wrapping his blanket about himself as he flopped down onto the sofa. He reached for the TV remote and flicked it on. A wildlife documentary buzzed into life. The reception was terrible. Maybe he could do something to remedy that.

As these various thoughts flitted through his mind, GP's eyelids slid closed. The gentle hum of the TV did the trick. As a swift cheetah took down a baby gazelle GP was finally asleep, his troubles gone, for a few hours at least.

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	2. Rude Awakening

**Hey guys! As promised, here is Chapter 2 of GP2 for you all!**

 **Have a little bit of angst and fluffiness on me! :D :D**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT in any way shape or form :)**

 **XXXX**

"Hey Sleepin' Beauty!" a calloused, blunt finger was jabbed into the back of his scarred but still tender neck.

GP winced and yelped when the action was repeated. "Ouch! Will you quit it!" he snapped as he leant forward, out of reach of Raphael's jabbing digit.

"I said move your shell genius!" Only Raphael could take the word 'genius' and turn it into an insult.

"Back off Raphael, I couldn't sleep last night, okay?" the moment he said it he wished he hadn't. It was all the fodder his distrustful brother needed.

"Awww, did 'Daddy's Boy' get turned away from sleeping in his room again?"

GP had had enough of this. He clambered out of the pit and unwisely shoved past the hot headed mutant. "I said back off!" It had taken months for GP to learn to talk back and stand up for himself against Raphael. If anything though, the taunts had gotten worse. He'd tried ignoring them but that didn't seem to work either.

Despite everyone else's good intentions, GP was still finding it increasingly difficult to fit in and adapt. Learning that he was smarter than his brothers and April was probably one of the biggest shocks to him, as he had always been told by Stockman that his intellect was 'average' at best. He tried to watch how he spoke but big words still tumbled out, leaving countless times when everyone was just left staring at him and trying to figure out what the heck he had just said.

'Dumbing' things down didn't come naturally to him.

"Where's Michelangelo?" GP tried to change the subject.

"How the heck should I know?"

"There's a shock," GP muttered a little too loudly.

"What did you say?"

GP instantly clamped a hand over his mouth. He had no idea he could be this sarcastic.

"What did you say wise guy?" Raphael demanded again.

"Nothing!"

GP received a strong shove from behind, sending him staggering forwards. He slipped on a discarded pizza box from the previous night and put his gloved hands out before he face planted into the ground.

"Donnie! Bro, you okay?"

A flash of embarrassment tinted his cheeks as he scrambled to his feet unnecessarily brushing himself down. He was still unused to being called by the nickname that Michelangelo had adopted for him. Half the time he didn't realise it was him the others were calling.

"I'm fine! I- er, just tripped."

Raphael shouldered past him. "Coward," he said as he passed, clipping Michelangelo upside the head for good measure.

"Dude! That's getting real old bro!" Michelangelo retorted.

GP was still focussed on Raphael's back when Michelangelo shook his shoulder. "Hey! You listening dude?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, yes. I'm listening."

"I said are you excited?"

Obviously he'd missed something Michelangelo had said. "Excited about what?"

"You get to choose your weapon today bro!"

"Oh!" he'd completely forgotten.

"How could you forget about something like that dude? It's the only thing I could think about before I chose mine!" he exclaimed.

Well, I've had quite a lot on my mind recently, GP thought but he didn't speak it out loud. "Must have been distracted," GP managed a weak smile.

Michelangelo beamed back. "C'mon! I made breakfast!"

Before GP had a chance to object, he was practically dragged into the kitchen. A stumbling entrance and a less than dignified 'clump!' into the breakfast bar table was enough to flush his face with embarrassment. Had he always been this clumsy? Of course Leonardo and Raphael had to be there witness to it.

Leonardo tried not to notice, (to save face for him) but failed when he stifled a chuckle under his hand. Raphael was belligerent as usual. "Hey! Watch it you klutz!" he snapped.

"S-sorry," GP stammered, noticing his unfortunate collision had sent a glass of orange juice splashing across the counter.

 _'Yeah, can I start this morning over already?'_ GP slid onto a stool and hid half his face behind a gloved hand.

"Here you go bro!"

A plate of pancakes steeped in butter and maple syrup was slid in front of him. Yeah, that was another thing before he came here he had never tasted such rich food as Michelangelo prepared. Heck, the first pizza he ever tasted (delicious as it was) completely repeated on him. He'd brought the whole thing up only an hour later. The rations he had been given under Stockman's guardianship had been on the whole bland and quite tasteless but that was how he thought all food tasted. He hadn't known any different.

Staring at the sumptuous first meal of the day GP immediately felt a wave of heartburn flare up. Even now he had to be careful. He guessed he could probably handle a couple of pancakes. He really needed to have a word with Michelangelo and tell him he didn't need to be so generous with his servings. Although it would probably land on deaf ears. He noted that Michelangelo could have a rather short attention span.

GP still couldn't quite believe it, that the other mutant turtles sat at the counter about him were his brothers. He knew they were but the disbelief even after all those months was still strong. He should have felt like the luckiest teen in the world but there was still something missing, something that understandably concerned him. He felt no familial bond with any them. Maybe it was because he had been raised in comparative isolation for most of his life. Maybe he was too used to his own company. Maybe the concept of having a 'sibling' was just too much for his mind to register and accept.

GP sighed and lifted his fork glancing briefly across at Michelangelo that hungrily devoured his pancake stack with the gusto of a starving man. His brow furrowed and he felt an uncomfortable pang in his breast. He looked back down at his breakfast. Even with Michelangelo who had made him feel the most welcome he had come to regard as only a real good friend. It was if his brain refused to see him as anything more than that and it saddened GP to the centre of his soul. He had never known anyone could be so accepting, so open, so gregarious, so, loving to someone they barely knew. He felt an unexpected lump start to form in the back of his throat.

"Hey dork! What ya waitin' for? For the pancakes to levitate into your mouth?"

A deep frown crashed down upon GP's face and his fork dropped to his plate with a hollow clatter making everyone look up at him. He wasn't in the mood for Raphael's sarcasm this morning. He pushed away from the table.

"Sorry Michelangelo, I've suddenly lost my appetite."

With that he stalked out of the kitchen, not waiting for a response from the others.

XXXX

Mikey wasn't clear on what exactly had happened, he hadn't really been listening when Raph spoke but a split second later Donnie had dropped his fork and left. What was wrong? He thought his immediate older brother liked pancakes. It was only after Leo spoke that he realised what must have happened.

"You should stop doing things like that Raphael."

"What things?" his hotheaded brother retorted.

"Insulting Donatello for a start."

"Oh, do not start gettin' preachy with me Leo. He is a dork, a nerd, a- brainiac."

"And how is that a bad thing?" Leo snapped.

"We're ninjas Leo! Why do we even need a computer geek in our team anyway?"

Mikey watched as Leo slammed his hands flat on the counter causing every glass stood upon it to wobble. "He's our brother Raphael! Donatello is not expendable!"

Now Raph got on the offensive and Mikey wiggled uncertainly not sure how to defuse the situation. "That techno geek spent all his life living in Baxter Stockman's basement Leo! Who knows what weirdo crap he's building in that stupid cave of his! Somethin' to wipe us all out, that's what he's doing!"

"No he isn't!" Mikey suddenly found himself shouting. "He makes things to help us!"

He didn't know where that had come from but Mikey knew he had never been this angry in his entire life. Donnie was their brother and he knew instinctively that he would never do anything to hurt them.

XXXX

GP was in the centre of the main living space when the shouts filtered out of the kitchen. He couldn't make out what the argument was about but he had a fair idea. Him. It was always about him. He never thought his very presence in the place where he was supposed to belong would cause this much friction. He roughly swiped a hand across his face as his eyes unexpectedly started to water.

"Donatello my son, is there something wrong?"

GP started and spun about, Splinter's footsteps had been completely silent and he still wasn't quite sure how he did it. "Chichi!"

"I hear that your brothers are arguing again."

GP's shoulders slumped. "I just wish that they would stop," he murmured.

"They will," Splinter said gently, resting a hand on his shoulder. "I just takes time."

 _'It's been eight months,'_ GP thought wryly, the forlorn expression still present upon his face.

"My son," the hand still upon his shoulder gave him a gentle squeeze. "Why don't you go ahead to the dojo. Your brothers and I will be there shortly."

"Hai chichi," GP answered quietly.

It was only when he reached the dojo that he realised why Splinter had requested he do so. Waiting beneath the boughs of the 'Impossible' tree as GP had personally dubbed it, was April. The smile that pushed across his features was involuntary. It was really great to see her, the vibrant redhead he had come to regard as his best friend.

"Hey April, you're here early."

"School holidays," she smiled back, it was a smile that always seemed to boost him no matter how down he was feeling.

GP knelt next her. "Ah yes of course," he smiled back at her.

"So, how are things going Donatello?"

Immediately GP's demeanor fell and he looked away from her, sighing an almost world weary sigh.

April's features creased sympathetically. "That bad huh?" she consoled, reaching out for his nearest hand lain on his lap.

"You have no idea," he murmured.

"Oh Donnie I'm sorry."

Although her words were genuine something made GP's face crease in consternation.

"Donatello what is it?"

He found himself shaking his head. "Don't," he uttered quietly. "Don't call me that."

"Call you what, Donatello? But that's your name!" she said with a playful smile, trying to make light of it.

GP's shoulders just slumped further down and he stared at his hands. He could tell that the girl immediately regretted her response because her hand came out for his shoulder. He would have thought that after all this time that he would have gotten used to his real name. His true name. But he hadn't. For thirteen years he had been GP and it wasn't something one could shrug off that easily, at least GP thought so. Donatello was that two year old turtle tot that got lost in the sewers. GP was the turtle teen he became. It still felt so, foreign to him and he doubted anyone would really understand.

"It, it doesn't fit," GP said quietly. "It feels, too big," too important for someone like him.

April's brow furrowed and her hand fell to his that had he'd unwittingly curled into tight fists. "I think it fits just right," she murmured. GP began to shake his head but April wasn't finished. "I take it Donnie doesn't feel right either?" she ventured softly.

"No, it doesn't," he practically whispered.

April finally smiled again and gently drew a finger under his chin to guide his forlorn gaze up to hers. His heart fluttered slightly. "Then how about this, how does, 'D' sound?"

GP drew a breath and briefly stared down at the mats on the dojo's floor. Well, it certainly didn't feel as intimidating as 'Donatello'. After a pause he finally nodded in agreement. "Yes, that doesn't sound too bad at all," he said, giving the redhead a small smile.

"Good," April beamed back. Darn it, he really adored that smile of hers so much.

At that moment Leonardo, Raphael and Michelangelo all entered the dojo each of them looking a little chastised. It seemed that Splinter had given them all a choice few words to think about.

Normally GP would have one on one lessons with Splinter and sometimes alongside April, (lessons that he personally looked forward to immensely) since chichi had announced that he wanted to train April to become a kunoichi, a female ninja due to her innate skills in empathy. A natural ability she seemed to have. Anyway, today was a special one and it was more a demonstration so they could see how different weapons worked and which ones (if any) inspired them.

Michelangelo placed himself right next to GP. "You okay Donnie?" he asked.

Feeling better than he had been a few moments before, GP returned a small smile to the orange banded ninja. "Yes, but call me D," he whispered.

"'D'?" Michelangelo repeated looking thoughtful. "Sure brah, D, I like it!" he grinned back.

Splinter then strode into the centre of the dojo and lesson officially began.

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	3. Demonstration

**Okay, another real short one guys but I promise Ch. 4 will be posted Monday most likely Tuesday of next week. Doesn't seem fair to leave you all hanging will such a little instalment, soooo...**

 **Does anyone think that Raph is slightly ticked off with Leo?** XD

XXXX

The demonstration turned out to be also training for GP's brothers who after performing warm up katas were then pitted against one another and although he had seen them use their weapons before seeing them use them against one another was a real eye opener. He was shocked at how seriously and aggressively Raphael fought against his own blood. If anything It gave GP chills. He didn't relish the thought of being pitted against him on a one to one. Even if he did have the same experience as the rest of them, he doubted that he would ever best him in battle.

Michelangelo was a blur of fun loving enthusiasm and it was an impressive and dizzying show to watch. He lead both his brothers on a disorientating dance until Leonardo caught him at a moment of distraction (an early victory cry) and within a split second he was grounded via a blow to the gut from the base of one of his swords.

Moments later the orange banded ninja plonked himself next to him. "Man," he grumbled. "That's like the third time in a month he's taken me out that way!"

"You shouldn't really celebrate a victory until you've actually won," GP uttered.

"Yeah," Michelangelo nodded in agreement. "The guys are always telling me that too."

Gazes were soon returned to the remaining two brothers. Metal clashed against metal, fists were thrown and kicks were executed to the highest skill. As a heavy fist, weighted with the handle of a sai sought to connect with Leonardo's plastron with great force GP winced and leant across to Michelangelo again.

"Is Raphael always this, aggressive during your sparring sessions?" he whispered.

"You kidding brah? He's always fired up, although a fight before hand can make him lose it a bit more than usual."

GP sat back. Was he the only one who thought that Raphael had some serious issues to deal with? He seemed to be a liability more than anything else.

One of Leonardo's katana then caught in the hilt of his hotheaded brother's sai. A flick of his wrist pulled Raphael to the side where he suddenly brought up a leg and delivered a swift and forceful kick into the turtle's midriff. It was more than enough to send Raphael crashing into the floor, tearing his entrapped sai from his fist and sending it pinging across the dojo's floor. A katana blade was lain against his plastron and GP released the breath he'd been inadvertently holding. That had been intense.

However even though the fight was certainly concluded there was one who refused to yield. Leonardo had withdrawn and as he turned toward their father, Raphael regained his footing and tackled him from behind. He went down with a startled cry and suddenly had Raphael's remaining sai pressed up against him throat.

"YAME!"

Chichi's voice echoed about the chamber and GP jumped in spite of himself. Michelangelo had suddenly leapt from his placement and was immediately at his oldest brother's side as he hauled himself upright looking properly winded.

"Dude! Where was your head at bro?!" Michelangelo snapped at his red masked brother.

Raphael's response was to glare back at Michelangelo like an incensed alpha wolf.

"Raphael, you have been told, many, many times that your anger is not a weapon."

Emerald green eyes seemed to burn a hole in the floor at their father's words.

"Leonardo, Michelangelo you are dismissed for the day," chichi went on and set his sights on second oldest son again. "Raphael, you will return to the dojo immediately after Donatello and April have finished their session. Is that completely understood?"

There was a moment's silence but finally, "hai sensei," Raphael uttered lowly.

With a nod of his head their father tilted his head to the door. "Then go."

Moment's later the trio had left and the rat turned back to his remaining students.

"Donatello, April, let us begin," he said levelly.

Exchanging glances April and GP stood and held their breath.

XXXX


	4. Decisions

**As promised dear readers, here's Ch. 4 A nice bit of fluff and smiles for you all because the angst is going to start to mount up in the next chapter! Again, not very long but says what I think it needs to say! Enjoy :)**

 **XXXX**

Watching the rest of the weapons in his chichi's armoury come to life in his hands was utterly mesmerizing for GP. Tantos, chigiriki, kunai and tekken amongst other things. The chigiriki in particular grabbed his attention, the poetry of how the weighted chain at the end of the staff spun at stunning speed.

However after each demonstration of each weapon he and April were both given an opportunity to try them out. April did so with admirable enthusiasm. The tekken (a knuckle duster by any other name) seemed potentially devastating and the thought alone of throwing a punch with one of them clenched in your fist sent chills down GP's spine. Whilst April readily tried them out, throwing practice punches GP point blank refused to even touch them.

April was doing quite well until she threw a punch which caused the heavy weapon to fly off one of her hands. With a squeak of alarm GP ducked as the tekken hit the wall behind him with a sharp thud.

"So sorry D!" April bleated out.

"Yeah, I think that's a no," GP uttered staring at the tekken on the floor.

"Yep, think you're right D."

GP smiled back.

The giant rat took up the tekken and furnished April with the chigiriki. "Try this one my child," he said levelly. "Remember my students, the weapon chooses you."

Copying their teacher's movements April got the pendulum swinging nicely and GP's smile broadened at the sight. However as she tried a different move the chain caught and wrapped itself around one of the low hanging branches of the dojo's tree.

"Ahh!" April cried as she was suddenly pulled off her feet. "I think this one chose the tree Master Splinter," she laughed.

GP chuckled as Splinter disentangled the chigiriki and handed it to him. "I suggest to practice away from the tree my son," chichi half smiled.

"Hai sensei," GP nodded. He extended the staff and got the chain to spin and couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face. "Huh, this is rather cool," he took a step back, attempting a different move by rotating his shoulders when the weighted end came too close and smacked him squarely in the jaw. He instantly dropped the weapon and brought a hand to the side of his face.

"D!" April was at his side in a flash. "Are you okay?"

"I'm good," he muttered. "Packs a punch that chigiriki, doesn't it?" he almost whimpered at the low throbbing pain that pulsated through his lower jaw.

"Yes indeed Donatello," chichi said quietly. "Wait one moment," he told both of them.

A few moments passed as April hovered at his side before Splinter reappeared with a cold compress. "Here my son," he passed it to GP who promptly pressed it against his painful jaw with a wince.

"I-I don't I'll be choosing that weapon either sensei," GP uttered.

"Yes, but there are a couple more I can show you both," Splinter flourished what looked like a metal fan from his kimono. "April, I had intended to give this to my daughter when she came of age but," his tapered off a second, was that a faint wobble in his voice? Just as quickly it was gone. "I would like to present it to you. It is a tessen. Beautiful but deadly."

Their sensei fanned out the beautiful object and threw it at the tree where it embedded itself in the trunk. GP watched April's face light up. Yes, that seemed perfect for her in all the right ways.

"Thank you Master Splinter, I think we've found my weapon."

Splinter graced the redhead with a benign smile as he passed the tessen to her, before striding across the dojo and took a simple looking staff from the weapon rack on the wall. "Donatello, due to your obviously peaceful heart I believe this may prove to be meant for you."

GP looked doubtful, a wooden stick? Really? But then Splinter spun the staff in his hands executing various and breath taking moves so the weapon (a mere blur) before him looked like a perfect circle. He twirled it effortlessly about his body switching hands as he went and then spun it easily above his head, until he struck the base against the floor where upon a hidden blade stabbed from the top. GP gasped in astonishment, his heart was pounding and any thought to his throbbing face was suddenly forgotten. He'd never seen anything so amazing in his life. The fluidity, the grace, the speed, the precise judgement needed for each move sent his adrenalin pumping round his body at the very prospect of using it.

"The bo staff is mainly a defensive weapon my son but when needed, the naginata can prove to be quite potent when more _extreme_ measures are called upon. However you have to master the bo first before moving to the blade."

Chichi retracted the naginata and handed the bo staff to GP who opened both hands to receive it. He stared at it in awe for a few moments, feeling the weight. "Thank you sensei," he murmured.

GP held the staff out straight in front of him and tentatively at first tried to spin it in hands. It felt so right, the reassuring weight, the feel of it in his hands, it was like it was always meant to be there. The biggest smile yet broke across his face and he managed ten complete turns with the bo before fumbling it. It clattered before his feet but it didn't dampen his spirits any. He felt better now than he had done in weeks. He swept it back up and repeated the same action again. It was like a drug and he couldn't stop himself spinning the staff for a second time.

From somewhere April giggled, her own weapon now in hand as she watched GP. "That, that really suits you D."

Shooting April the happiest, dorkiest grin through the twirling bo staff, GP released a light chuckle. "Thanks April, this, this is amazing!" he gushed enthusiastically.

Splinter beamed down at him. "Most certainly this weapon has chosen you my son and I know you will aspire to master it."

GP spun the staff to a stop and held onto it with both hands as if it were the most precious thing in the world. He looked back up at his father, practically dewy eyed as an unexpected wave of emotion swept through him. "Thank you sensei," he murmured once more. "Really, thank you, so much," he had no idea why he suddenly felt so choked up. He'd never been this happy before.

A gentle hand was lain atop his head and GP swiped fingers across his eyes to fend off the dampness starting to well there. "You are very welcome my son."

XXXX


	5. Hard Truths

**Okay dear readers, this one I warn you is a doozy! Pretty darn long! XD That and be prepared for angst, tears and some feels...**

 **Tissues on stand by just in case? Good, never know when you might need those!**

 **XXXX**

GP had to admit that he was floating about on Cloud Nine for a good ninety minutes after his and April's lesson was over. He was more than happy to show Michelangelo his new weapon, spinning it a couple of times to demonstrate the movement.

"Aw yeah brah!" Michelangelo exclaimed. "Any weapon that spins is just plain awesome in my book bro!" To further his enthusiasm the orange banded turtle pulled one of his nunchakus out and spun it at incredible speed. "See! Spinning is sooo cool!" he chirped.

Michelangelo caught the weapon in mid flight, making GP catch his breath at the skill that his sibling had unwittingly just shown. He had a long way to go before he would be able to use his bo staff that effortlessly. Michelangelo then turned about and called out to Leonardo who was half watching from the seating pit with a comic in his hands.

"Hey Leo! You see what D got? It's too cool dude!"

GP watched as the blue masked turtle gave Michelangelo his full attention, setting the comic book to one side. "Bo staff," GP said almost timidly, spinning it one more time.

Leonardo smiled and nodded in agreement. "That's real great Donnie. We're proud of you."

"Thank you Leonardo."

"Do you know what this calls for?" Michelangelo cried excitedly. "Pizza party!"

"Cool, I can totally go with that Mikey," Leonardo agreed, climbing out of the pit. "What do you say Donnie?"

GP flexed his fists about his bo staff and shuffled his feet. "Sure, pizza party sounds, really, really good," he uttered still uncertain at using the jargon that his brothers so freely threw about. Sometimes it felt like a second language.

"April, you gonna join us?"

GP looked hopefully across at the redhead who stood nearby but guilt tweaked her features and the youth's heart quickly sank. "Sorry Leo, I'd love to stay but my aunt's got me running a few errands today but I will definitely be back later guys, I promise!"

"We'll save you a slice April!" Michelangelo piped up enthusiastically.

"You do that Mikey," the girl giggled. She then turned about and closed in on GP, half hugging his nearest arm before giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I'll only be gone a few hours D," she whispered, as if she'd already sensed what he'd been feeling. "I wouldn't miss your party for the world!"

With that April was gone, leaving GP completely off balance as his hearing only seemed to register the 'THUMP, THUMP, THUMP!' of his pounding heart. He swallowed down the stickiness that was suddenly clogging his throat and stared after her departing figure as if he were stuck midway between reality and a dream.

His reaction was not lost on his two brothers who both exchanged knowing looks before commenting on his demeanor.

"Awww! You and your girlfriend look really sweet together D!"

"Yeah, you make a cute couple!" Leonardo playfully joked.

It took half a second to register and GP suddenly shook his head, unwittingly hugging his bo against his plastron as he responded to the pair. "She's not my girlfriend!" He said defensively. "April, is just a girl who, who happens to be my friend," he felt the sudden rush of blood to his cheeks and hoped beyond hope that he wasn't blushing as badly as he thought he was.

"Girlfriend," Michelangelo seemed to correct and then grinned. "Hot pink is sooo your colour bro!"

The comment only made his cheeks burn hotter and GP immediately bowed his head to look at an important crack in the floor.

"C'mon Mikey," Leonardo interjected seeming to sense that they had pushed their joke far enough, much to GP's unspoken relief. "Let's go get those pizzas. We won't be gone long Donnie!"

"See ya in a bit D!"

GP nodded, still too embarrassed to look up as Leonardo and Michelangelo swiftly disappeared.

Finally left alone GP hung his head back and groaned to the ceiling as he brought a hand to his brow. That had been utterly humiliating, blushing as deeply a schoolgirl at her boyband crush in front of Michelangelo and Leonardo. It was just a small mercy that Raphael was still being reprimanded by chichi. He was more than glad to deprive the hot headed mutant with that kind of fodder.

As much as he verbally denied it, he really, really did love spending time in April's company. He looked forward to seeing her every time she came to their home. Whenever she laid a friendly hand on his shoulder or hand, it made his heart dance and his mind race. Just then when April had wrapped her arms about his he became nothing short of a blithering idiot. Her words whispered right into his ear, 'wouldn't miss your party for the world,' had all but sent him stumbling over the edge of a chasm named 'Sweet Oblivion'. Every now and again (more often than not) he wanted, more than anything to wrap April in his arms and tell her how much she really meant to him. He was just too darn terrified to do it. She was a human. He was a mutant. What sort of chance did he have? Someone as beautiful, compassionate and special as April deserved someone who could give her everything that she deserved. He was just fooling himself. April was his best friend and he was more than grateful for that.

GP released a sobering sigh and shook his head. He really needed to get his mind off of this. His eyes swept across the lair and suddenly snagged on the television that Michelangelo had left blaring in the background. GP slipped down into the pit and tilted his head as he examined the picture quality. It was terribly woolly looking but to be honest he wasn't all that surprised. The way they had it hooked up probably would result in such terrible reception. He could probably tweak a few things here and there for a temporary fix until he could have the time to take a proper look at it.

GP laid his staff in front of the TV and settled himself behind the set, leaving it running so he could check on the screen's reception. He had no idea how long he'd been crouched down there when a gruff voice snapped him back to the here and now.

"Hey, brainiac where's Mikey and Fearless?"

GP briefly peered over the top of the television before bobbing back to his work. "They went out to get pizza."

There was a short pause and then, "You butchering our T.V. for parts Professor?"

GP ignored the insult and kept working, peering every now again at the screen. "No, I'm trying to improve the picture reception for you television set actually."

"Could've fooled me," was the dry remark.

GP bristled but didn't raise to the bait. "I think the main problem is more than likely based on your poor signal but it is also evident that there is an internal element involved. There's a lot of loose components in her-"

"Yeah, yeah blah, blah boring genius," Raphael drawled and slumped into the lowered seating area, no doubt to stare accusingly at him.

"Hmmm, if I just tighten that there aaaand nudge that up to the riggght-," GP leant out, tongue obliviously poking out over his upper lip and glanced at the screen.

The picture suddenly snapped into focus and the smile that swept across GP's mouth was enough to say that he was proud of himself. "Hah! I knew that was the problem!" he applauded himself as he scooted himself round to get a better look. Yes, not absolutely perfect but most definitely a vast improvement.

Despite his company GP glanced across at Raphael. "Well, what do you think?"

He watched as the red masked turtle peered over the top of his magazine. "Meh, it looks a little better," he commented. "We just wiggled the antennes around that usually does the trick."

GP's shoulders slumped and he looked at the cheesy sci-fi cartoon that was currently playing. Space Heros? That sounded so unbelievably, cliched? It was still flipping awful, who watched this stuff anyway?

"That your new weapon brainiac?"

Jolted from his thoughts GP looked just behind him. "Oh, yes, it's a bo staff."

"It's a stick genius," was the belligerent response.

"I like it," GP frowned, picking the precious object back up.

"You would."

GP ignored him and used the staff to push himself back onto his feet. "Tell Michelangelo and Leonardo that I'll be the laboratory, Raphael," he said levelly as he clambered out of the pit. He really didn't need this turtle to spoil his good mood.

"You tell 'em," the red masked turtle grunted in response to his request, flipping another page in his martial arts magazine.

GP should have held his tongue and left but he couldn't help himself. "That's illogical! How could I possibly do that? You'll be sitting out here when they get back."

"Call 'em," was the blunt response.

GP frowned.

Then Raphael twisted about in his seat to look over his shoulder at him. "Oh yeah, I forgot. You don't have a cell do ya?"

The flicker of an idea sparked at the back of GP's mind but he stored it away for later as he glared back Raphael. "You're one of most awkward individuals that I have had the misfortune to encounter Raphael," he snapped.

Raphael suddenly released a mocking laugh. "Hah! That's rich! Me and my family and April are the only 'individuals' that you've EVER met! You lived in a freaking basement for most of your life, poindexter! You're a borderline recluse!"

GP felt his hands clench into fists. "Go, stuff your head in a sewage pipe!" he bit back and made to stomp off to the lab.

"Yeah that's it, go and finish building that doomsday device Mr. Mad Scientist!" Raphael goaded.

GP spun about, his ire now well and truly lit. "I'm not building a Doomsday device!" he shouted back.

"You might as well be," Raphael retorted. "Half the things that you're workin' on in there are covered in blankets. What the heck are you tryin' to hide from all of us, huh?" he demanded hotly.

GP bit his bottom lip over that remark. He stumbled into silence and wasn't quite sure what to say. "Th-they're er, secret, um, projects."

"Secret projects?!" Raphael was instantly on his feet and barrelled into GP who stumbled half a step backwards as the irate mutant was suddenly up in his face, acid green eyes blazing like fireworks. "Why would you need to keep secrets from us? What the hell are you hidin' brainiac?!"

GP shook his head. He wasn't about to say and he wouldn't either, he worked so hard to build those items and repair the others. Chichi and April had helped him gather the pieces and over the past eight months he'd been working to get them all up and running so that he could reveal them all together. "It-it's nothing, really!" GP tried hopelessly to defend himself.

"That's it! I'm looking now!"

Raphael stormed up the steps and GP panicked, he reached out and snagged the hothead's nearest arm in an attempt to hold him back. "Please, no Raphael! Just leave it!" he begged.

Raphael threw him back effortlessly and GP lost his balance and tumbled down the steps. His weapon caught hold of something on his way down, tearing it from his grasp as he landed on his shell with a dull 'clump!' The bo staff clattered hollowly beside him half a second later.

GP rolled onto his side to get his bearings and glanced up the steps to see the red masked turtle with a hand glued to the side of his face. Immediately his chest clenched in horror. Oh no. No, no, no. His staff had undoubtedly smacked Raphael right in the face as he had fallen. The apology slipped out automatically.

"Raphael I'm sorry, are-are you okay?"

The glare that GP received would have sent a whole pack of alpha wolves running scared with tails tucked firmly between their legs. The teen quailed under the intense stare and suddenly wondered how the heck he had gotten himself into this situation.

"You're gonna pay for that scarecrow!" Raphael growled, stalking back down the steps which was a small consolation. At least he wasn't hell bent on searching the lab anymore.

A second later the furious mutant was standing over him and GP could see the swelling bruise that had started to form under Raphael's left eye. He winced. For an unintentional strike, the blow had landed quite hard to cause such sudden damage. Probably a more offensive weapon than chichi had let on.

Raphael hitched his arm back and GP flinched. 'Oh please don't do this again!' GP cringed and instantly hated himself for it. 'Please in the name Sir Isaac Newton, don't hit me!'

He must have looked that intimidated, that scared because for some reason Raphael's hovering fist fell to his side. "You know what? Ya ain't worth it."

Internally GP released a sigh of relief but this confrontation was far from over. "I should've remembered what a wimp you are."

GP lowered the arm that he had had raised to protect himself from the blow that never came. He thought that of himself many times (maybe not the exact same words), but to actually have it spoken to him, directly to his face actually hurt. It hurt alot. Face falling he made to get up but Raphael wasn't quite finished yet.

"I told Leo we didn't need a science nerd on our team either."

"S-sorry?" GP stammered.

"I mean, heck we didn't even know you existed up until we rescued your sorry shell."

A faint gasp of disbelief escaped GP's mouth. "Y-you didn't?" he all but whimpered.

"Splinter only told us about you after April and Mikey saw you in the warehouse. Said he thought you were dead, after finding the stupid purple rag covered in blood."

GP absently slid a hand across his arm as the memory of cutting himself in the sewers as a child, flared painfully in his mind. "Chichi st-stopped looking for me?" GP whispered almost mournfully.

"Well, yeah, he thought the rag was the only thing he was gonna find."

A sore swelling bloomed at the back of GP's throat and his eyes unexpectedly began to sting. The boy staggered to his feet, still clutching his phantom wound to his chest. He fixed the hot headed mutant with a belligerent glare and took a couple of gasping breaths.

"You are a Grade A plus jerk Raphael!"

No sooner had the words escaped his mouth GP turned and fled. Seconds later the door to his bedroom was slammed shut.

XXXX

Mikey returned with Leo roughly twenty minutes later, several pizza boxes stacked high in his arms he awkwardly peered round the stack.

"Awww right! Pizza party is a go dudes!" One glance across the pit and Mikey frowned. "Hey Raph, where's D?"

"No idea," was the careless response.

Mikey shoved the pizzas into Leo's unprepared arms, who gave a muffled cry as he staggered backwards. "Mikey!"

"But the pizza party is for D for getting his weapon!" he said with the undertone of a whine.

"I told you Mikey, I don't know where he is," Raph went back to flipping through his magazine.

Mikey looked thoughtful for a moment and briefly caught a glance at the TV. "Whoa! What happened to the TV bro?"

"The brainiac was fiddling with it."

"Huh! I've never seen it look so clear before!"

Leo soon joined them in the pit, placing the pizzas on the side as he peered at the television too. "Aw man, I didn't know they had a Space Heroes marathon on!"

"Don't panic Fearless, I'm sure there's plenty more lame episodes to come."

Mikey watched as Leonardo frowned across at Raph. "What happened to your face Raph?"

There was a second's silence before the red masked turtle answered. "The techno geek clipped me with his stupid stick."

"Well how the heck did that happen?"

"He was stopping me going into his lab and tripped, that good enough for you?"

Leo didn't look convinced but it was enough for Mikey.

"I'm gonna find him, be right back dudes!" with that Mikey snatched a pizza from the top of the stack and capered off to find his immediate older brother.

XXXX

Once Mikey was gone Leo cast a long hard stare at Raph. "Why was Donnie trying to stop you going into his lab?" he pressed.

"Geez! What is this? A freakin' interrogation?"

"We both know that Donatello wouldn't even touch you unless there's a darn good reason Raph," Leonardo crossed his arms over his plastron. If he'd known some sort of altercation was going to occur between Donnie and Raph he would have never left the lair.

Raph gave a frustrated sigh to the ceiling before throwing his magazine to one side. "I wanted to see what he was hiding in the stupid lab of his. The dork runs in front of me and I pushed him out the way."

"Oh, so you brought the bruise to your charming face on of your own bullheaded volition?"

"Who are you all of a sudden? A poet?" Raph scoffed. "Look, I just told him a few hard truths and he bolted. End of story."

A uneasiness suddenly squirmed in the pit of Leo's stomach. His eyes narrowed. "What do you mean by 'hard truths' Raph?"

"I just told him that we didn't know about him up until we saved him."

"You did what?!" Leo gasped incredulously. "Master Splinter was going to do that! He was going to sit Donatello down and explain everything once things had calmed down around here!"

Raphael visibly bristled. "Well now is a helluva time to tell me that Leo!" He barked. "Don't you think that sorta info was something I should have been made aware of?"

For a fraction of a second Leonardo flinched. In all actuality, yes, it should have been something the others should've been made aware of but it hadn't been his place to say. Splinter had informed him that he would tell his brothers in due time but obviously that hadn't happened yet.

"Well you should have known better Raph," Leo finally shot back. "You should know how sensitive Donatello can be by now."

"Hey, it ain't my damn fault that he takes everything I say to heart," Raph growled in response, getting verbally defensive. "He knows I don't mean everything I say!"

Leo threw both hands up in exasperation. "No he doesn't Raph! You said it yourself, he takes things to heart, that's just the sort of person he is."

"Well, it still ain't my fault!" Raph retorted although the conviction was now missing from his tone.

"You know something? Donatello was right."

"Right about what?"

"You are a meathead."

Not waiting for his volatile brother's response Leonardo stalked away, heading toward the bedrooms that Mikey had been heading for. Donatello's door stood ajar and Leo peered round, catching sight of his two younger siblings. Man did poor Donnie look upset. It made his heart hurt. Raph never thought first did he? Never considered consequences until after the fact.

Leo bristled. He wanted to go right in there and apologise on the behalf of the resident hothead but seeing Mikey wrap arms about Donnie, halted his footsteps. It felt as though he was interloping on something special. Something that he shouldn't be interrupting. For a moment Leo felt a slight pang in his breast. It almost felt like, what? Envy? He was the oldest, it almost felt like his duty to comfort his younger brothers. Then again he had to admit that even now he felt terribly awkward around Donatello. He was always worrying that he was going to say or do the wrong thing. (He should've really kept his mouth shut when the April 'Cute Couple' quip slipped out). In another way he was kind of glad that Mikey was there. His baby brother had no problem in doling out hugs if they were needed or not.

Glancing away with a taint of guilt Leo sighed. Michelangelo seemed to have this situation all under control. He could always speak to Donatello later, couldn't he? Leo nipped his bottom lip and finally backed away, shoulders slumping slightly as he did so.

XXXX

Mikey's first stop was naturally the lab. "D! Hey D! Pizzas are up bro!" he ducked his head inside and his features creased. "Huh, not here," well where else could he be?

Not the dojo, that was more Leo's thing. After a full minute of thinking Mikey decided to check his immediate older brother's new bedroom. He banged enthusiastically on the door. "D! You in there brah? Pizza's here!"

When he didn't receive an instant response he tried the door. It pushed open easily, he'd noted over the time that Donatello had been here that he never locked any doors. Not pausing in his train of thought he slipped inside holding the pizza box up high like some kind of trophy.

"Hey bro did you hear me? Pizza time!"

Michelangelo came to a sudden stop and his beaming smile slid simultaneously off his face. He lowered the pizza, to see his older brother hunched up on the corner of the bed against the wall, knees drawn up, holding a book with the other hand to his brow. His chestnut brown eyes looked awfully glassy.

"Yes, I heard you Michelangelo," Donatello uttered quietly, not looking up.

Mikey took a step forward. "Hey, are you okay dude?"

"Sure."

Mikey made a face. "You sure don't look okay bro."

"I'm fine."

The younger teen frowned and regarded D's face, although he was staring at the book open across his knees he didn't seem to be actually reading it. "You don't need to worry about Raph, he's okay you know, in his own you know 'grrrr! I'm grumpy!' kinda way, heh!" he grinned trying to break the smart turtle's eye contact with his book and perhaps crack a smile across his face.

The opposite happened instead, a grimace fell across Donatello's features and he seemed to hunch up tighter as he rubbed finger and thumb across his brow. "Raphael is not fine," Donatello grumbled under his breath. "He needs to learn to keep his big mouth shut."

Mikey's expression twisted into one of pure puzzlement. "Hey? What d'you mean D?"

Donatello shut his eyes and sighed deeply and his hand dropped from his forehead as he finally looked up at Mikey. "Can- can I ask you something Michelangelo?"

"Sure bro, anything," Mikey smiled, perching himself on the end of his older sibling's bed.

Despite eagerly waiting for an immediate question, Mikey frowned when Donatello hesitated (in his opinion) for longer than was normal. "D?"

Whatever indecision had prevented Donatello's voice working suddenly dropped. "Is-is it true that none of you knew about me until you saw me in that warehouse?"

The orange masked ninja's eye ridges arched in surprise. "Well, yeah. It's true, I mean when me an April-"

"April and I," Donatello corrected quietly.

"Yeah, well after we saw you and told Leo and Raph they soooo, didn't believe us! Thought April was seeing things because she bumped her head and me? Yeah, they didn't believe me when I saw a Kraang droid for the first time, an' I was like brains in their stomachs! And they were like 'what brain?' An-'"

An exasperated sigh cut through his rambling and Donatello fixed him with a half annoyed stare. "Can you get to the point Michelangelo?"

"Oh, heh, sorry bro," his cheeks tinted pink for a brief second as he recollected his original train of thought. "Yeah anyway, when we got back we told Splinter and like he totally told us about you, the whole story dude. Showed us a photo that he'd kept tucked behind the picture frame of Teng Shen and his baby daughter and we like couldn't believe it brah! It was like a fourth turtle! And we totally had no idea, we were in shock bro! Then Master Splinter was all like, 'You must save you brother!' and yeah well, I guess you can probably work out the rest."

Once he was finished Mikey looked back at Donatello after his animated tale, beaming like a Cheshire Cat thinking it was exactly what he had wanted to hear. However, the expression that had fallen across his brother's face looked anything but happy with his answer. In fact he looked like he was on the verge of tears. Before he could ask if he was okay the woebegone youth asked him another question.

"Is, is it also true that, chi- Splinter stopped looking for me?" his voice was so strained, he was trying so hard to keep his emotions in check and Mikey didn't understand why.

"Well, yeah bro. He showed us this purple piece of cloth, the same colour as your mask, with a browny red stain on it. Splinter had thought you'd bumped your head and fallen in the water."

Donatello's breath hitched in his throat and he immediately turned his head away. A couple seconds passed and then, "th-thank you Michelangelo could, could you give me a moment? I-I need some time to take this all in."

Mikey looked perplexed. "Take what in D?"

"What you just told me."

Mikey was even more confused. How could anything that he had just told Donnie be this upsetting? He thought it was totally cool, discovering that he had another older brother. The conundrum was actually starting to make his head hurt. His eyes caught sight of the box on the floor and just like that the annoying confusion was gone.

"D, what about your pizza?" he smiled.

There was a second of awkward silence. "I-I'm not hungry anymore Michelangelo."

"Are you sure bro? Because you never ate those pancakes this morning-"

"I said give me a moment Michelangelo!"

The snap to anger was so unexpected the Mikey literally bounced off the bed to his feet. His shell was pressed against the door before he knew it. Okay, so D wasn't hungry and he wanted to be left alone. Mikey's face fell as he felt the handle of the door behind him. Donatello always seemed to prefer his own company. He was always shooing him out of the lab when he tried to lift the dust sheets off his numerous projects, which was a shame because Mikey had come to enjoy watching his immediate older brother work. The things he could actually do was incredible!

Mikey's pale blue eyes stared at the floor digging a foot into the rug and twisting it like a chatised child. "Yeah, okay D," he murmured opening the door just enough to slip out. He pulled the barrier to, reluctant to shut it all the way and there he stopped not entirely sure what to do next. It didn't feel right standing out here.

For a moment Mikey's posture slumped and was about to return to his bickering older brothers when he heard movement in Donatello's room followed by a sorrowful, muffled sound that sounded midway between a sob and a whisper. Frowning Mikey returned to the door and pressed an ear against it.

"Chichi, h-he gave m-me up!" came the suppressed hiccup. "H-he gave me up-up f-for dead!"

Mikey's frown deepened, a most uncharacteristic expression for the normally jubilant little turtle ninja. He never recalled actually saying that. He peered through the crack in the door frame and what he saw clenched an iron fist about his heart. Mikey had to admit to himself that he had never really seen Donatello properly cry. There was the time when he first woke up after they brought him home but those had been truly happy tears and there was that other time a few months ago after Raph hit him harder than he meant to after he accidentally collided with him on the steps to the dojo. Those tears had been one of pain and he swiftly disappeared into lab. Didn't see him for the rest of that day actually. Anyway, what he was seeing and hearing right now wasn't from happiness or physical pain, it was from a broken heart. Mikey knew that instinctively. Something that hurt deep inside that you couldn't see but was still there nonetheless. No one deserved that kind of pain, no one especially not Donatello, not after all that he had gone through.

Mikey never hesitated, his heart was in control and what he did was totally instinctive. He slipped inside, pushed the door semi closed behind him and sat next to Donnie who was now settled in the middle of his bed, desperately trying to stifle his sobs with the back of his hand. The moment he sensed him, his brother immediately turned away as if to hide his distress from him almost as if he were deeply ashamed that he'd been caught in the act of letting his overwhelming sorrows escape him. He even pushed out a hand to try and prevent Mikey getting any closer. Hah! As if that is gonna stop me big brother!

Michelangelo nimbly slipped behind the arm and enveloped his own about Donatello's shuddering shoulders.

"Michelangelo," his sibling almost whimpered. "Pl-please d-don't."

Ain't happening brah, Doctor Huggin' stien is here and he isn't letting go! Mikey thought as his embrace tightened. He had to let Donatello know that he didn't care. Tears or no tears it didn't matter. He wasn't here to judge him, he was here to support him, to be himself, to be his brother.

Donnie's resistance lasted a good minute before his shoulders slowly began to relax. Sobs still tugged his chest but they were subsiding a little more. "You know that you've got it all wrong, don'tcha D?" Mikey finally said.

Roughly trying to clear his still watering eyes, Donatello looked over at him with bewilderment. "Go-got what all wrong?" he murmured.

Mikey temporarily pulled Donnie to arm's length so that he could look him straight in the eye. "Master Splinter didn't give up looking for you bro. He didn't go out find that cloth and give up you know? He told us that he searched for you for months."

"M-months?"

"Yeah D and Splinter kept telling us how amazing you were! When I saw that picture, all I wanted to do was find you! An well, you kinda know the rest," he shot Donatello a soft smile.

For a few seconds his smart brother appeared to think about the clarification of his story. Brown eyes still watery but no longer flowing looked back up at Mikey. "But, chichi never told any of you about me until that day. Raphael said that you didn't even know I existed."

Mikey quirked an eye ridge. "Is that what this is all about dude? What Raph told you?"

There was a moment's silence and Donnie nodded slightly.

"So, how is that a big deal bro? What matters is that we know you now, right?"

Donatello hung his head, absently twisting his fingers in his lap.

Mikey reached out and rested a hand on Donnie's nearest arm. "D? Even though you weren't here like you are now, you've always been here brah and you always will be. You have and always will be my big bro."

Donatello's features suddenly crumpled as an obvious wave of emotion crashed over him. Mikey's brow furrowed for a second, wondering what he had said now that had set his poor sibling off again. Man, he was usually so good at this! What was he doing wrong? All he wanted was to make his big brother happy again!

Then without warning Donatello lunged forward and wrapped his surprisingly strong arms about his startled frame. Mikey's arms slid instinctively about him, readying himself for another sorrowful outburst when his brother came out with something truly amazing.

"Thank you Mikey, thank you s-so much little brother."

Hey! How about that? D had finally called him Mikey! An involuntary smile burst across the young teen's face and then the second revelation hit just as hard as the first. Donnie had also called him 'little brother'. Mikey tightened his embrace that was returned without hesitation.

"You're welcome big bro, you're welcome," he murmured with the biggest smile.

XXXX


	6. Slip Up

**First off, I'm truly sorry you've all had to wait so long for this. It was a combination of writer's block, other commitments and real life and I hope you can all appreciate and understand that. :)**

 **This next chapter is a doozey too, so much had to happen and I really hope it reads okay. I've proof read it twice but please if you see any errors, let me know! I will amend them! Also a warning, there is some mild swearing near the end of the chapter.**

 **Sooooo, if you thought the last chapter was heavy I really think this is might beat it. Things are just getting started. So lots of angst and hurt are poised on the horizon, good luck….**

 **(And a certain someone who wanted to see a Badass Ninja D? Not precisely what you had in mind I know, but this is early in the story! ;) )**

XXXX

Two and half weeks later GP and April were waiting for the arrival of Splinter in the dojo when Mikey, Leonardo and Raphael joined them. The newest ninjas exchanged curious glances.

"What's the deal guys?" April leant forward asking the question down the line. "Didn't you just have your training session today?"

"Dunno April," Mikey was the first to reply. "Master Splinter told us to come back in after you guys entered."

As if on cue Master Splinter swept into view as if to answer the slightly puzzling question. "April, Donatello, I have summoned Leonardo, Raphael and Michelangelo back to the dojo for your session today for a very important lesson."

"What is that sensei?" GP asked tentatively.

"Defense an attack," said the giant rat simply. "Both you and April have progressed much these past two weeks with your new weapons and it is highly important that you learn to defend, deflect and attack against weapons other than your own."

"You mean-?"

Splinter cracked a half smile at April who eagerly leant forward in tense anticipation. "Indeed April, you will spar with Leonardo, Michelangelo and Raphael."

"Yes!"

As April fist pumped the air GP immediately stiffened, casting a nervous glance as his brothers alongside him.

"Awww yeah! That is too cool bro!" Mikey cheered, shaking GP's rigid shoulder.

"Are- are you sure about that sensei?" GP asked meekly. "I mean, they're so much more advanced than us."

"Donatello, this is true but once you are in the field you will come across adversaries who are stronger, faster and more skilled than you but that does not mean that you are unequally matched. You must learn to discover your own merits in battle and this my son is what this lesson is all about."

"Hai sensei," GP quietly complied. He wasn't looking forward to this one little bit, unlike April who couldn't wait to be pitched against his brothers.

"Master Splinter, may I go first?" April asked enthusiastically.

"After your warm up katas, yes you may April," Splinter smiled more prominently.

GP could only suppress a shudder. He could feel rather than see the smirk that Raphael threw down the line at him. Why did he suddenly have a deep, dark sense of foreboding about this session?

~GP2~

GP watched, hands involuntarily gripping his knees as he watched April spar against each of his brothers in turn. Having been told not to hold back it was clear that two of his siblings weren't being as hard as they normally were in combat. Mikey even got admonished for it when he went down much faster than he deemed was normal for the hyperactive ninja. They were immediately told to face off again and the pair had a fair to decent battle. After exchanging numerous blows via weapons and limbs Splinter called a stop and announced a draw. A small smile crossed GP's mouth as he felt his heart swell with pride.

Leonardo was certainly more of a challenge for April but obviously their father knew that he wasn't trying his very best for fear of hurting his good friend.

"Leonardo! Watch your form, your stance is lazy!"

GP swore he saw a tick of disappointment sweep across the blue ninja's face but it was gone in an instant as he swept his swords up and suddenly put every effort he had into fighting April. He heard her gasp at the abrupt change but it forced her to face the problem head on. Her tessen snapped open and blocked the downward blow which forced Leonardo to pull back. She swiped the metal fan before her, no doubt trying to bluff her opponent into what strike she was trying to make. A feint to the left and Leonardo's right hand sword came down on the opposite side. Quick as a whip she spun about and caught the sword's blade in the tessen and snapped it shut. Unprepared for the move April jerked Leonardo's sword wielding fist to the side. Stunned half gasps sounded beside GP as the blue masked ninja had one of his twin katana's slip from his hand.

Somewhat surprised but undaunted Leonardo's hands gripped the remaining sword and readied himself. April caught the blade as it swept down with her closed tessen she was about to throw Leonardo back, as her adversary swept out a foot and knocked her feet out from under her. GP winced as she bounced off the matts and the tessen clattered across the floor.

"Yame! Very good April."

GP's smile at his father's praise for April's efforts was involuntary.

"Thank you Master Splinter."

Then Raphael took to the floor and GP physically felt his blood chill as the stocky turtle cracked his neck to the side and loosened up his limbs like a boxer stepping into the ring. "Alright April, let's see whatcha got."

"Hajime!"

With the command given it was quite clear that Raphael wasn't one to hold back, he barrelled forward his sais a flash of silver in his big hands as he sought to clash with April. ' _Snick! Slisshh! Slash!'_ April caught both sais with the length of her closed tressen and grimaced as she tried to heft Raphael's weight off of her. So she changed tactics. It was clear to her that she wasn't going to win this battle with brute force. She tipped her right arm, effectually sliding the the blades away from her and bringing her elbow around caught the red ninja right in the eye.

The shout of surprise is clear as Raphael staggers back a step but not so easily overcome, a fist comes up and catches the redhead solidly in the shoulder. April yelped, stumbling sideways and GP felt himself involuntary try to jump up when a ready hand caught his rising shoulder.

"Easy D," Mikey whispered reassuringly. "April's got this brah."

Briefly acknowledging his little brother GP felt himself sink back to the floor. Mikey was right. This was April's fight, not his.

April's tessen swiftly flashed out and forced Raphael to dodge back, giving her room to breathe. April lands a second lucky blow which knocked her opponent's head back but it's the last move she manages to deliver. Raphael's left sai whips out catching a hole in the now open tessen and rips it from her grasp. It jerks April down and a well aimed kick knocks her right to the floor, face first.

"Yame!" April's final battle is over.

"Darn it!" GP heard her utter under her breath.

"Very commendable April," Splinter said with a tip of his head.

Returning the show of respect April bowed her head back in return. "Thank you sensei."

April had barely sat down next to him when his birth name was called out. "Donatello my son, take up your position."

GP's heart clenched and he visibly tensed. April's hand was immediately rested across his nearest one. "You can do this D," she whispered with a small smile.

GP swallowed uneasily and he pulled himself to suddenly unsteady feet. Now it was his turn.

~GP2~

"Hajime!"

The command was given before GP could even gather his thoughts. Mikey was suddenly off, nunchakus spinning at seemingly impossible speed that it made GP's head spin just looking at them. That appeared to be the only opportunity that Mikey needed to get a well aimed swing in.

"Offf!" GP staggered sideways and whipped about only to find the space that Mikey had previously occupied was now empty.

"Gottah be quicker than that dude!" Mikey chirped to his left.

Brandishing his bo GP spun it about and swung it wide. Gone again!

"C'mon D! You _can_ catch me, right?"

GP's eyes narrowed, twirled the staff and struck out with a backward swing. A displacement of air and light padding of feet beside him and GP knew that he'd missed and by a long way. Somewhere behind him he heard a low sniggering and with a gruff cry he spun about and brought his bo down double handed. 'CRACK!'

"Behind you brah!" Mikey cried again.

GP glared over his shoulder and again he could hear the suppressed snickering coming from the peanut gallery behind him. Raphael. As if he wasn't having a hard time as it was trying to fight his whirling dervish of a little brother, he felt like he was being mocked for his efforts.

Another sharp blow caught him in the side and GP swirled his bo and jabbed forward missing Mikey by the tiniest of margins. _Argh!_ Why was this so flipping hard?!

"Almost D!"

GP lost count of the times that Mikey sprang about him like a frog hyped up on too many energy drinks. He was getting tired of this. Again and again, Mikey got the drop of him, nunchakus whipping out and catching him from every seemingly conceivable angle. In the side, against his shell, ankle, plastron, shell again. This was impossible! How was Mikey doing this?! He felt like a freaking punching bag!

As another blow of his own missed, Raphael's attempt of concealing his mirth finally failed and he burst out in a raucous laughter that seemed to ring mockingly in young teen's ears as it bounced around the dojo. "Hah! Hah haaah! Keep 'im dancin' Mikey! I ain't seen anythin' so freakin' funny in my life!"

 _That does it!_ GP swung his weapon wide, forcing Mikey to leap back. He twirled the staff and saw the downward arc of Mikey's left hand nunchakus. Double handed he caught the blow and his little brother's weapon wrapped around the shaft. GP pulled back as hard as he could determined to (at the very least) deprive Mikey of one of his nunchucks. However his footing was unbalanced and as his frustration took over he felt his left foot give. Mikey seeing his opportunity dropped his weight and slid forward effectively kicking GP's unsteady foot from under him. GP felt himself jolt forward and still gripping his weapon out of instinct found himself being flipped a hundred and eighty degrees over Mikey's head.

"Ommfff!" GP's shell pounded into the mats and the shock jolted his hands open. His staff was whipped from his grasp and before he knew it Mikey was standing over him beaming. How in the heck did he manage that?! He was taller than him right?

"Yame!"

"Good fight D!" Mikey said as he reached down to help him up.

For several seconds GP's pride stilled his own hand for reaching out for the proffered one. "I didn't hit you once Mikey," he said lowly.

"No, but you stayed on feet brah, heh, well until now."

GP stared at the ceiling a second longer and with a huff of acceptance took up Mikey's hand.

"Donatello, your brother is right but next time try not to let your frustrations get the better of you. Such feelings can cause your actions to become brash and will only lead you to lose your focus."

GP bowed his head and mumbled, "Hai sensei," to the floor. That had been utterly humiliating. He would of thought that Mikey would have cut him a little slack….

"Leonardo," GP glanced up and saw his oldest brother take to the floor. ' _Oh no,'_ he internally groaned. He'd almost forgotten. He was going to have to do that all over again.

~GP2~

If GP had thought that Mikey had been a challenge nothing could've prepared him for Leonardo. He was almost like Splinter in minature, almost. He was as swift and slippery as a shadow. As his bo first clashed with the hilts of the turtle's katanas he also realised how strong he was too. He had to backstep and release a grunt of effort to heft Leonardo's sinking arms back. As if sensing that his footing was about to be compromised the blue ninja jumped backwards, giving a slight thrust forward of his blades that sent GP stumbling back several steps.

They then circled each other, GP holding his bo to the ready. It looked as if Leonardo was waiting for him to make the next move. He flexed his gloved fists about the shaft and looked for an opening. Leonardo's blades were crossed as he held them in front of himself. It would be pointless to strike there. GP then caught his breath and saw a gap in the blue ninja's defence. He spun his staff before him, causing Leonardo's gaze to shift to his weapon. The older mutant's knuckles flexed and GP took his chance. He plunged his staff forward, aiming for his oldest brother's plastron. The blow never connected.

Swift as a whip, Leonardo twisted sideways and left GP's staff hammering into nothing but the floor. The force of his initial thrust had been so forceful that he felt a rebound in his beloved weapon. The staff hitched up and caught him painfully under his arm after clipping him smartly in the ribs. The dull thud that reverberated through him, told him that the shaft's base had caught the ridge of his shell as it continued along its' momentums path. A winded huff of a pained gasp escaped his throat as GP had the common sense to slacken the hold on his bo. As a result he tumbled to his knees but kept hold of his weapon. He was not going to be taken out _that_ quickly!

There was a moment's silence, as a tense feeling filled the air. He sensed Leonardo slowing down as if unsure, maybe worried that he had hurt GP. _Well, newsflash Leonardo! I am hurt!_ His thoughts barked harshly but wait, maybe he could use this to his advantage. The blue ninja's guard was down. All he needed was a well earned swipe.

He drew himself to one knee head still down, one hand clutching his bo.

"Donnie, you okay?"

Leonardo's shadow fell across him and GP made his move. He shunted his weapon forward into two hands and made the strongest swing that he could. Leonardo released a gasp of surprise, leaning back just enough for GP's blow to miss by a fraction of an inch.

A frustrated shout leapt up the young teen's throat. He was back on his feet in a second, twirling the staff and hit out again without any success. Why couldn't he do this? Why couldn't he freaking hit anyone?!

Leonardo leapt back on light feet missing blow after blow. Suddenly their weapons connected again and GP's frustration was getting the better of him once more. He had to win! He just had to! His moves must have started to look erratic and less controlled because a resonant voice then carried across the dojo.

"Donatello! Remember, your staff is not your only weapon!"

What the heck did that even mean? Why. Couldn't. He. Land. A. Hit?!

"Do not let your frustration cloud your judgement!" Came the second command.

GP gritted his teeth and pushed back on Leonardo's pressing blade, losing all focus. He lurched forwards with a determined cry of effort and the blue ninja pushed down with his blades. GP's knees were forced to bend from the pressure delivered and before he could recover Leonardo's foot came out of nowhere. It landed square in the middle of his plastron.

The blow sent him sliding into the ground and his weapon clattering off uselessly to the side.

"Yame!"

 _Damn it!_

"Donatello, you are not learning from your previous mistakes. Frustration can lead to anger and anger is not your ally as some of us well know."

GP half raised himself from the floor slamming the flat of his palm against the matts in spite of his sensei's wise words. This was impossible! How was he supposed to fight more highly trained ninjas who had a greater understanding of the ancient japanese battle art than him? Who were faster than him? Stronger than him? Just so much better than him?!

"Donnie, you fought well," Leonardo said, offering a helping hand.

That was a joke right? His hand tightened into a fist as he stared at the floor. What he had just taken part in wasn't a fight, it was just him an inexperienced neophyte swinging a silly stick around the room. A joke. Yeah that sounded about right actually.

GP side glanced the blue ninja's open palm and found himself knocking it away with a frown furrowing his purple masked brow. He didn't need the older turtle's help. He may have been many things but he wasn't completely helpless.

The sudden look of shock that passed across Leonardo's features, did nothing to quell the stirring storm that was forming in GP's heart, neither did the proceeding expression of upset that followed it. GP snatched his bo from Leonardo's hands and immediately swept away from him wearing a dark eyed look as he mumbled, "Thank you."

As he took up his position again, he never saw the dejected look that filled Leonardo's entire form or how he slumped back into his kneeling position next to the others. He never caught sight of how Mikey put out a consoling hand on his oldest brother's shoulder, nor the dark blue eyes that stared at their clasped hands and wondering what on earth they had done wrong.

GP's only focus was on his next opponent. As intimidated as he was by his last adversary, now more than ever he felt that he something that he seriously needed to prove.

"Raphael," their sensei called.

GP gripped the shaft of his bo and locked eyes with the red ninja that now stood before him, wearing his familiar superior smirk.

"Hajime!"

The command given GP darted forwards and came in for the clash with his heart hammering in his chest.

~GP2~

Raphael seemed to waste no time in showing GP that he was there to lay him out on the floor, hard. Leonardo had been strong but Raphael? He was a solid wall of muscle and clashing with him was like striking a solid iron freight train at full speed. GP swore he would have bounced straight off of him had his bo not got hooked into the handles of the hothead's sais.

Seeing his obvious advantage GP's chest clenched at the cocky smile that suddenly curled his lip. "Ya wanna dance stickman?" he taunted.

GP pushed down his apprehension and scowled back. "Sure, I'll lead!" He hefted his staff back with as much strength as he could muster.

"Nah, let me!"

Sadly it was not enough for the next moment he suddenly felt his feet leave the floor as Raphael lifted him from the ground as easily as a dry leaf in the wind. The red ninja hefted him up and threw him to the side. His right shoulder impacted into the floor and GP gritted his teeth as a previous sore bruise was aggravated further.

"Hah! Ya lasted a full two seconds longer than I thought you would!" Raphael gloated, standing over him like some game hunter arrogantly proud of his kill.

GP felt a growl start to crawl up his throat. _Well this buck still has antlers! I'm not going down yet!_ In a flash the young mutant was back on his feet, twirling his bo staff alongside him.

"Glutton for punishment eh?" Raphael scoffed, his trademark smirk still painted across his face.

The look spiked a temper that GP rarely felt or showed. He swung the staff wide but Raphael ducked. Not wasting any time GP slammed the base on the floor and swung himself around the staff, aiming a kick into the red ninja's plastron. No impact came and instead Raphael had grabbed his leg and slammed him into the floor.

As GP's head bounced off the mats, his fists clenched tighter about his weapon.

"This is Ninjitsu not gymnastics genius!" Raphael taunted. "Some ninja you are!"

A growl surged up his throat. Bo staff clashed with sais and the pair briefly spun about until Raphael lifted GP's feet off the ground and heaved him back, slamming the hilt of his weapon into his bruised shoulder. The youth snarled in pain. If Raphael wanted to fight dirty, then so would he.

As he was thrown back, GP felt his fury reach its peak. Without a conscious thought the sinister white lids slid across his eyes and he flew at Raphael like a turtle possessed. A shocked hush descended across the dojo as the watching students shifted about and glanced across at one another. They'd never seen GP like this before. They witnessed small tantrums in his lab but this? This was different. This was GP at his most incensed. Not since he had lost Darwin had the teen lost himself so completely. He'd wanted to hammer Baxter Stockman into the floor when he mocked him over the death of his only friend. Raphael's taunting had tipped him straight over the edge…

GP hefted his bo and swung it like a club right at Raphael's head. The red ninja unprepared for the unexpected vicious attack stumbled backwards and tripped over his own big feet. His shell slammed into the matts, winding him. Wasting no time GP spun the bo over his head and summoned the naginata blade.

Gasps of horror rose from every throat but GP was deaf to all of it, even sensei as he bellowed his command.

"Yame! DONATELLO STOP!"

The blade came plunging down, several millimetres from Raphael's head and straight through one of his ragged mask tails. GP stood over him panting heavily, leaning on the staff as he crouched lower to look the astonished red ninja right in his wide emerald green eyes. For once Raphael seemed to surprised to even speak.

"I missed," he found himself saying as Raphael's gaze slipped across to sight the blade next to his face. GP glanced across at the blade's reflection and upon seeing his fury ridden self hovering over Raphael's startled one, something snapped. This wasn't him.

The veil lifted and suddenly a frightened, horrified youth stared back at him. He looked back at Raphael and suddenly the staff was wrenched from his grasp. GP let go without a fight and fell back staring at his shaking hands. What had he done?

~GP2~

In all honesty Splinter wasn't sure what had gotten into his second youngest son. Wrenching the staff from Donatello's hands was the last thing he'd he'd thought he'd had to do. His heart had all but stopped as he watched the blade plunge down. Thankfully he missed, weather deliberate or no, he was not certain. It had to be a deliberate miss. Still, even though Donatello was relatively new to the ways of ninjutsu, it did not excuse him from his reckless actions and behaviour.

The boy was staring at his hands when he admonished him. "Donatello! Did you not listen?!" Splinter strode across the dojo and absently placed the bo staff on a weapon rack. When he looked back the youth was staring back at him in dismay. He would go as far as to say that Donatello looked positively dewy eyed with despair. "You master the bo before you master the blade!"

Donatello clasped his gloved hands and held them against his plastron and stared at the floor.

"You did not heed my warning. You let your frustrations override you. You must never, ever put any of your brothers lives at risk!"

"Raphael, he-he taunted me," Donatello uttered weakly still not looking up.

"That may be so, but such things can be expected in battle. You have to learn to rise above it," Splinter turned and extended a hand to aid his second eldest up. "It is a lesson that Raphael himself has been told to adhere to many times."

Donatello's woeful expression faded into a scowl and he suddenly glared back. "I am nothing like Raphael!"

A slight frown shaded Splinter's long features. He had come to expect this kind of insubordination with his hot headed son. Seeing it come from Donatello, seemed wrong. Granted he'd only truly come to understand his once lost son's personality over the past eight months. He was an overall gentle soul, compassionate, quiet, thoughtful and always put others feelings ahead of his own. But he was also sensitive, taking things to heart in the blink of an eye. Now being a perfect demonstration of that.

"I never said that you were Donatello. I am merely making an observation."

"He took advantage of my injuries!"

Splinter drew a deep breath and closed his eyes. Maybe it had been a mistake by holding Donatello back from sparring with his brothers, because he still didn't fully grasp the spirit of ninjutsu. There were so many things he didn't understand, so many things that he still needed to learn so when he was pitted against his siblings he wouldn't cry out that he was being treated unfairly. How to make him to listen to reason now? A prickle of apprehension tingled at the back of his neck. He could sense another challenge coming. He took a summoning breath.

"Donatello, in ninjutsu you unbalance your opponent anyway you can. If you see an advantage or an opening, you take it. It does not matter how unorthodox it is, if it gains you the upper hand you do it."

Splinter waited and watched as a curious ambivalent expression fell across Donatello's features. A look which seemed a combination of anger, guilt and misery. What his purple clad son said next though completely shocked him.

"Then, then I don't want to practice ninjutsu anymore!"

Shocked gasps filled the airs at this unexpected declaration.

Splinter stayed silent for a moment. Donatello was upset, that much was painfully clear and he was angry. He himself couldn't take this statement to heart. Once the child had calmed down, he might have a different outlook and be more open to reason.

"Is-is that how you aim to teach everyone? By taking advantage of other's weaknesses? Aggravating injuries? Taunting and name calling? Be-because if it is, I-I don't want any part of it! Y-you're a bad teacher!"

"YAME!" The deepest frown fell across Splinter's face as he strode across the dojo to stand directly in front of Donatello. His shadow fell across his tallest son who suddenly took an uncertain step back. "Watch your tongue Donatello! Do not say things that you cannot take back! I will not tolerate being spoken to in such a disrespectful manner!"

Donatello suddenly planted his feet firmly on the mats and stood his ground. Fists balled he leant into the next words he shouted back. "You disrespected me! Nobody here knew I even existed until April and Mikey SAW me in that stupid warehouse! How could you do that to me? _How could you_?! Thirteen years I was your dark little secret, _thirteen years_! Whilst I rotted in that prison of a lab!"

Tears cradled his son's brown eyes as the shocking revelation came to light. For a moment Splinter had no idea of what to say.

"What kind of father are you chichi?!" at this final statement Donatello pressed the back of his fist to his mouth as the tears threatened to spill.

But at his second youngest child's thoughtless but hurtful words spilled out, Splinter felt an uncomfortable tightness fill his chest. The temper he usually kept in check cracked the surface of his normally calm exterior. He slammed his green crystal cane against the floor and an awful silence fell across the dojo. Donatello was already shrinking away from him but the words snapped out before he could stop himself.

"Chichi does not exist inside this dojo! You will address me only as Sensei or Master! Is that completely understood Donatello?!"

Deep upset quaked in the child's eyes and then the anger slipped back for a fraction of a second. "I, am never calling you Master, father. Ever!" Donatello's eyes sighted something behind him and in the blink of an eye the boy was gone, bolting from the chamber before anything more could be said.

Curiously Splinter cast amber eyes over his shoulder and caught sight of the weapon rack he had placed Donatello's staff upon. It hit him in an instant and he raised a bandaged hand to his face. What had he done? The furious outburst, the impassioned anger all made sense now. "Oh, Donatello my son, I am so sorry," he whispered under his breath.

~GP2~

He'd never seen it coming. That much he knew as he lay stunned on his shell staring at the ceiling as he tried to catch his breath. Then he saw the blade that stabbed from the bo staff and he stiffened in horror as it came plunging down for what he thought was his face. He felt the breath of the metal's edge against his cheek and his vivid green eyes slipped across to see the now naginata had skewered one of his mask tails to the floor.

Donatello's shadow fell across him and his eyes rolled up to meet the livid white orbs of the purple ninja that had effectively pinned him to floor. The gangly youth was breathing heavily from his exertions and hissed out two words that almost chilled Raph's blood.

"I missed."

Holy crap! Did he really mean that? Don't tell him that this quiet, geeky turtle was a freaking psychopath! He watched, too shocked to even speak as the fury ridden mutant glanced into the reflective surface of the naginata blade. Then something happened. The youth seemed to snap back to his senses and the chestnut hue thankfully returned to his eyes.

An almost frightened gaze met his bewildered one and the naginata was abruptly ripped from Donatello's grasp. Raphael watched curiously as the youth stared at his hands as Splinter started to reprimand him. He didn't catch half of what was said if he was to be honest. He took Splinter's hand automatically not even registering the use of his name. He was still reeling from what his so called brother had done.

It was was only when Donatello shouted that he was nothing like him that his attention snapped back to the argument starting to boil in front of his eyes. He was shocked that the gangly youth spoke out with a voice he never knew he had. Huh. Imagine that. The kid did have a backbone afterall, although the things he said to sensei really began to irk him. Common sense luckily told him to keep his mouth shut this time though.

With a final admonishment from Splinter, Donatello said he would 'never call him Master' (whatever the heck that meant) then turned and fled. Strange kid that one. Very strange. Just when he thought he'd figured the skinny dork out, he threw a curveball and the latest one he'd been on the receiving end of. That, (he thought with a prickle of anger), had temporarily knocked him for six. Well, it would be the last time. That oddjob had had it coming for months and this time it had hit him in the shell.

The weirdo even admitted to having 'secret projects' in that stupid lab! I mean come on! How much more proof was needed that the guy was trouble? He was quiet, kept to himself and when he did speak he used pointless bigass words that nobody understood. Watching him backtrack and try and explain what he meant with simpler words was excruciatingly tedious. In the early months after they'd brought him back to the lair it was amusing with how flustered he got when nobody understood him. Anyway that aside, there was something wrong with him. For all they knew he was sending secret messages to Daxter Spockman on some crazy doohickey that he'd probably built. Who the heck knew?!

And he was so touchy! Really what was wrong with this freaky nerd?!

Not long after Splinter dismissed them for the day and before any of his brothers could apprehend him he stalked out of the dojo. He hadn't got too far when he caught sight of Donatello. Back to him he was sitting at the edge of the pool and staring into the water. He'd honestly thought the brainiac would have locked himself in his lab. He shrugged his shoulders about to grab one of his magazines from the lowered seating area when he paused and frowned curiously back at fourth turtle. He'd never really noticed before because a lot of the time the long purple mask tails fell across and obscured it but now he could see it. The gruesome scar that marred the back of his neck where he'd hacked himself open to get Stockman's tracker chip thing out. He thought it then and he still thought it now 'crazy son of bitch'. His sights slipped and he noted the ugly chip on the upper ridge of his shell where a now healed hairline fracture drifted down from it. Where the heck had he got that from again? Come to think of it Donatello had never actually said. Must have hurt like absolute hell. The thought alone made Raphael shudder.

The purple banded youth took a sudden breath in, a bit like what someone sounds when they're trying to stifle a sob. A strange feeling twisted in his chest and suddenly Raph felt very uncomfortable. Why? The guy had almost skewered his head to the floor in the dojo only a few minutes before. He stood awkwardly for a moment not sure what to do until April showed up and promptly sat next to Donatello. A sense of relief washed through him and Raph finally snatched his magazine off the floor.

Good. Let April handle it. It was starting to make his head hurt anyway.

Raphael's eyes briefly grazed across the front cover of his magazine, seeing the photograph of a sai being held by the martial artist in the picture. He absently felt one of his own tucked into his belt on the back of his shell and the image of Donatello's scar flashed up in his mind.

He shuddered again. "Freaking crazy son of bitch," he murmured.

~GP2~


	7. Struggling

**Gosh, darn it! I'm sorry I've taken so long to complete this chapter and bring it to you. I've myself had a real emotional, bumpy month, RL has been well, (I'm sure Raph would have some rather colourful expletives to enter here), but yeah, it hasn't been great. This was hard to write, the second half especially and it is also worries me, I deeply hope I haven't gone'out of character'? I don't know, but I'll post and leave that all to your wise judgements dear readers.**

 **I think this has to be my most 'angsty' chapter so far, (hard to believe I know! XD ) so hold onto your shells guys, it's only just getting started... Enjoy :)**

~MNID~

Chapter 7 Struggling

The reflection in the still pool rippled slightly as another tear joined the first two that had already been shed. GP sniffed and stared glumly at his distorted reflection. This was, without a doubt the worst day he'd experienced since his rescue. Learning the 'hard truths' just over two weeks ago had been pushed to second and when Raphael had thumped him on the dojo steps a bit before that slipped into third place. He had never thought after finding his true home he would feel so desperately misplaced.

He had tried, so very hard to 'fit in' but there were still things that utterly confounded him. He was a fifteen year old teenager and yet he had no clue as to what being that meant. The way the others interacted with each other was such an eye opener. He'd had nobody but Stockman and his pet rats to talk to, it was no wonder he felt like such an outsider, such an awkward, fumbling geek as Raphael had put it once. He was never going to feel at ease in this place.

And what had gotten into him back there? He'd argued with chi- sensei, he'd argued with sensei and questioned his teaching methods. Who was he to tell someone like Splinter how to conduct his ninjutsu lessons? He was just some messed up kid that didn't know what the hell he was doing! ' _But he took away my bo,_ ' the child inside whimpered. ' _He obviously doesn't think I'm worthy of it any more._ ' GP nipped his bottom lip, feeling the burn of oncoming tears threaten again and he sucked in an awkward breath, barely thrusting back down the sob that desperately wanted to escape. He held it and his breast shuddered at the unwanted imprisonment of the upset that balled inside him. A faint but audible whimper slipped out as he took another breath to tame the beast within, and he immediately slammed a hand to his mouth.

"D?"

GP instantly stiffened, slapping his hands beside him gripping the edge of the pool as a body slipped down to sit next to him. He should've shut himself up in the lab. A delicate hand slid over his tensed one and at once he whipped his hand to his plastron and gripped it there with the other. "I'm okay," he said haltingly.

"No, you're not D," April uttered quietly. "Tell me what happened in there."

GP tilted his head away from her concerned gaze and sighed. "I can't."

"Can't or won't?"

"I can't, I just- I don't know what happened," he muttered. "One thing lead to another and it- it snowballed," mournful brown orbs stared back into the water and seemed to glare back at him. "It all just seemed- so unfair."

"What was unfair?" the redhead asked gently.

GP suddenly frowned. Had April even been in the same room? "EVERYTHING APRIL! EVERYTHING!"

April jolted back, obviously in shock of his outburst. Instantly regretting his actions, GP hitched a leg up and hugged it tightly, burying his face in the brown denim folds as his eyes began watering again. "I-I'm sorry April, I-I didn't mean-"

A slender arm was suddenly wrapped about his shoulders and gently pulled him, giving him no option but to lean his head atop hers. "It's okay D, it's okay. I shouldn't have asked such a stupid question."

GP sniffed, glad that April couldn't see his face. He never wanted to cry in front of her. Ever. Her hair felt so soft beneath his cheek and here he was making it damp. He squeezed his eyes shut and forced the tears back, grinding a knuckle against the dampness.

"I-I'm never going to fit in here April," he finally admitted.

April pulled away and forced him to look at her, even as he resisted. "What do you mean you're never going to 'fit in here'?!" she demanded. "This is your home D, this is where you belong!"

"Is it?" he mumbled miserably, glancing away.

"Hey! Look at me mister! Your father, your brothers are here, you belong with them! They're _your_ family!" as emphasis she shook his shoulders.

A scowl slammed across GP's features and he flung the redhead's hands off of him. "I wish they were!" he found himself spitting back.

April stopped, looking momentarily stunned at his words.

"I have no familial bond with them April! We may very well be mutated from the same ooze, share sibling DNA but they don't _feel_ like my brothers! Mikey is the only one I've managed to bond with, heck that didn't even happen until just over two weeks ago! For eight months he was just my best friend! I find Leonardo totally unapproachable, he's just so darn awkward around me. And don't get me started on Raphael, he doesn't even want me here!"

"D please-" April started.

Even that new nickname was starting to jar with him again. "Don't, just don't," he swiftly pulled himself up and away from the pool's side. "I had a closer relationship with my ratty Darwin than with any of them! H-How pathetic is that?!" he started to stalk away when he heard April chase after him.

"D wait!" April's delicate hands seized his arm and in spite of himself he let her pull him to a stop. "Please."

"Please what?" GP uttered hopelessly, not looking around.

"I'll help you," her blue eyes glistened in the light from above their heads.

"Help me how? Bond with them?"

"Yes," was the determined reply.

GP scoffed. "That is impossible! Bonding can't be forced or forged overnight April. Eight months for Mikey, eight months it took!"

April didn't back down and stood solidly before him. "I understand it won't be easy-"

"NO! No you don't understand!" GP ground the heel of his palm into his once more stinging eyes. "After that display in the dojo, I've alienated myself from everyone anyway! I feel it! I feel it," his tone dropped and his shoulders slumped, utterly defeated. "I'm a pariah, some, lonely, screwed up, kid," he uttered, trying to use the some of the jargon he'd heard Raphael use. "I don't belong anywhere."

There was a sudden tug at his neck and he felt his head jerked down as April wrapped her arms about him and pulled him into a tight, unexpected embrace. "D, you're not some screwed up kid. You're not a pariah. You've been through a life shaking, traumatic experience and you're right I couldn't begin to understand that. But you've come so far in eight months D, and you shouldn't see it as a failure because I know you do. Things are going to take time, just like you said, just don't give up. You're strong D, stronger than you know, remember that because I'll never give up on you."

GP's arms slid about April's slender shoulders and returned the embrace, eyes fast shut to keep the tears burning out. _What would I do without you April? What would I do?_

GP wasn't sure how long they stood there but it truly wasn't long enough because a second voice sounded behind them and he pressed April closer to his breast as his anxieties suddenly skyrocketed.

"Donatello? May I speak with you?"

He found himself minutely shaking his head but April stroked soothing circles on the back of his shell. "You can do it," she whispered, the warm breath of her voice sent chills through his very core.

Slowly he nodded and pulled away as April squeezed his wrists. "Yes sensei," he whispered.

~MNID~

GP watched April leave with a mournful ache in his chest. Splinter extended a robed arm and indicated back to the poolside. "Shall we sit?" he said quietly.

GP didn't answer, observing the giant rat as he set himself at the water's edge. He drew one hand up his arm and glanced apprehensively to the side.

"Donatello?"

The rat's tone and current demeanor had completely thrown him and he had totally expected another admonishment. He'd been insolent, disrespectful, reckless and belligerent, heck he really had acted like Raphael in that dojo. Why was sensei being so reasonable? Under Stockman's 'guardianship' when he had been punished he was locked in his 'room' and if the man was feeling especially vindictive he withheld GP's meals. Many were the nights when he had retired to his bed with a grumbling empty stomach. That seemed so long ago now…

"My son, sit next to me," Splinter spoke up again and indicated the space beside him.

GP fidgeted and an irrational childhood fear of being punished for not obeying a simple command sent his feet padding to his sensei's side. He slipped down and put a good half a metre distance between them. He never saw the sympathetic look that was cast in his direction at the space inbetween.

Splinter drew a breath and GP stiffened, his breast automatically tensing, fearing the worst.

"Donatello, I owe you an apology."

GP's expressive eyes widened and he stared across at Splinter in disbelief. "I-I'm sorry sensei?" he stammered.

"I am very sorry my son," he murmured softly, amber eyes sliding across to meet his. "I have only started to see, that since being reunited with you, I have approached your training incorrectly. It was foolish of me to expect you to take to it just as you brothers. It has been the only way I have known and in doing so I have failed you as a father as well."

At this admission, GP lowered his sights to the waters below. He swallowed awkwardly, absently dipping a toe in the cold liquid and distorting both of their reflections. "Sensei?" he whispered almost guiltily.

"Yes Donatello?"

"Back, in- in the dojo, I-I didn't mean it," GP bit his bottom lip. "You're not a bad teacher, you're not-," hesitated and glanced away. "-a bad father."

Splinter took another breath in and seemed to hold it before exhaling low and long. "Donatello, you are still young and you've been through so much in that short space of time but you will discover that the world is not full of perfect people. Everyone has their faults, I am no exception my son. You pointed out my faults and I am not angry at you for that. I accept them."

GP honestly didn't know what to say. He'd spat a plethora of venom at his sensei and here he was telling him that it was okay? That he was actually the one in the wrong? He was in shock. However Splinter was far from finished.

"I also owe you, an explanation as to what happened when-," there was an obvious hesitation and GP raised his eye ridges in surprise. "-when I lost you."

GP sucked in a sudden breath and a metal fist tightened about his chest.

"I know it is long overdue. I do not know how much you recall of that day Donatello but by the end of it it was without a doubt one of the worst days of my life," the once man gazed up to stare into the middle distance, as if looking through a window into the past. "I swore we were being chased in those sewers tunnels and to my shame, I panicked. I ran trailing you and Leonardo behind me, it was only when I returned to the lair that your brothers made me aware that you were gone. I had lost you somewhere in the sewers. Shortly after I went back to find you. I searched all night but didn't find any trace. I ventured out every night whilst your brothers slept proceeding that. It was many weeks later that I found part of the purple cloth that I given to you, stained with long dried blood. I feared you had fallen and had been swept away, drowned," Splinter closed his eyes and sighed. "I so desperately wanted to find you, thinking I would be looking for something so grim, that I didn't know if I would be able to cope if I was successful. I extended my search. Miles and miles of tunnels I traversed. Weeks turned into months and those months turned into a year. I was forced to stop my search when your brothers' curiosity got the better of them and they tried to follow me into the tunnels one night. I couldn't risk losing them too or have them stumbling upon your remains," Splinter then closed his eyes and GP noted how he only just managed to suppress a shudder. "You were on my mind every single day since that fateful night because I thought, I would never see you again," amber eyes that seemed almost luminescent in the slanting brightness above their heads, stared deep into his as if searching his very soul.

GP felt a plug of regret ball in his throat and he blinked furiously as his eyes began to sting once more. "Y-you were searching for my b-body after you found the cloth?" he stammered weakly.

Splinter bowed his head, "yes, my son."

"I c-couldn't keep up. I-I slipped and I cut myself," GP murmured, pulling up the cuff of one of his gloves revealing a pale scar on his wrist. "I t-tore a strip off the bandana to staunch the flow," delving back into the once half forgotten memories triggered an unwanted emotional response. "I should have stayed where I was," he whimpered. "Stockman found me and I-I went with him. H-he said he'd find you for me-," the upset surged forth and he pressed both hands to his mouth to try and prevent it rushing out. "I'm sorry sensei, I'm sorry."

Splinter shook his head and a reassuring hand was rested upon his shoulder. "Don't be," he said softly. "You were so very young and I had yet to instill in all of you the dangers of encountering strangers. It is I who is at fault."

He still should've known better. Maybe Stockman was right. Maybe he was just of average intelligence. If he'd been smarter he wouldn't have walked off with a total stranger. GP released a heartfelt sigh. All these thoughts about the mad scientist made another question enter his mind. Taking him back to that awful confrontation with Raphael. Pushing back the wretchedness he felt, he summoned his voice.

"Sensei? Why, why didn't you tell my brothers about me?"

The comforting hand was momentarily and GP glanced up to see Splinter staring into the waters much like he had been. "In all honesty," he started quietly. "I have no excuse. I used to tell myself that they were too young to understand or cope with the knowledge that they had lost their brother but the truth of it has always been-," the rat hesitated for a second. "- my shame. I was too ashamed to admit that I had been as careless as to lose one of you. I had lost my beloved Teng Shen and my dear little Miwa. Losing you, I felt that I was the worst person in the world. The worst father. I hid the knowledge because, I was too afraid to admit to it," he caught GP's gaze and seemed to stare at him almost earnestly. "Donatello, I hope you will be able to forgive me."

GP felt numb, he gazed back at his and Splinter's rippling reflections. He didn't know what to think. He'd once thought that Splinter was completely infallible, unable to make a wrong decision. He was always full of wise words, a solid pillar of good that would never tarnish no matter what the elements of life would throw at him but now, he could see, sensei wasn't the perfect being that his younger self had built him up to be. He didn't know whether to feel upset, angry, disappointed. Could he forgive him? His features twisted in consternation and he gripped the lip of the pool.

He heard Splinter sigh beside him, almost with reluctant acceptance. There was a rustle of fabric and GP thought the large rat was about to leave.

"You need more time, I understand," sensei uttered quietly. "Here," he then said, slipping something across GP's lap. "I thought you might want this back. I never meant to take it away."

GP looked down and froze and half a second later his hands seized the bo that had previously been placed on the weapon rack. He gripped it tight, practically hugging it to his chest. The young teen released what sounded like a combination of a gasp and a sob. "Thank you."

"And I thought that you might find this useful," Splinter added and placed something else across GP's knees.

GP frowned curiously. It looked like some sort of brown leather belt, or strapping of some kind? It was made from what appeared to be a very durable leather, not unlike the gear his brothers wore… That was when his heart literally jumped out of his breast. His red brown eyes leapt up to meet his father's as for a moment words simply escaped him. What Splinter had gifted him with was a belt and holster for his staff, which meant he had never relinquished GP of his beloved weapon in the first place. It had just been an automatic action just like when one put a tool in a toolbox or a washcloth next the sink. In his overwhelmed state GP had just misread the situation and taken the scene at face value, that Splinter was actually taking his given weapon away from him.

The guilt rushed up to greet him full force, like a torrent of water streaming from a broken fire hydrant. The pressure exploded and the sobs burst from deep within, violent and hard, as he hugged both gifts to his plastron. What was wrong with him? What the heck was wrong with him?!

A pair of strong arms then enclosed about him and without resistance GP fell in the fatherly embrace, burying his face deep in the kimono's maroon folds, breathing in the scents of jasmine from the incense Splinter burned during his meditations. A gentle hand rested upon the back of his head, stroking it with soothing gentle motions just like when he was toddler all those lost years ago.

"Ch-chichi, plu-please, p-plu-please, I-I'm s-sor-," GP hiccuped, but the words that he wanted to say got lost behind the ever increasing sobs that relentlessly wracked his entire frame.

"Shhhh," the familiar sound met his ears and the hug that enveloped him tightened just that little bit more. "I know Donatello, I know. Don't," he whispered. "Don't be sorry."

~MNID~

Unbeknown to the father and son above, a red light that very easily could've been mistaken for a random light shining from the lair above glinted upon the surface of the waters from down below. Silvery and silent the unseen entity seemed to watch. The light blinked and when it was finally satisfied the small body lifted and vanished back through the outlet it had entered by.

~MNID~


	8. First Aid

**Notes found at the bottom of this chapter guys...** :D

~MNID~

Chapter 8 First Aid

A few days later GP had been in the lab when the commotion broke out in the lair beyond the door. Raised voices and shouts were running rife and his breast tensing and heart starting to pound, the young teen took only a split second to decide and half a moment later he bolted to lab's door.

Hanging on the frame to see the chaos beyond, GP caught his breath when he saw one of his brothers' holding a bloodied arm to his plastron. What he cried next was purely instinctive.

"What happened?!"

~MNID~

Leonardo honestly couldn't believe it. How? How did his let this happen? As he held his arm against his chest he internally chastised himself for his own stupidity. Who would have thought that a nightly patrol could have turned into such a freaking nightmare? Where exactly had those little metallic chomping pests come from? He'd sensed that something was wrong but not soon enough, the artificial creatures burst from the concrete and swarmed them before they had a chance to gain higher ground.

When one of the gnashing monstrosities leapt for Raphael, he didn't hesitate and threw himself right into its path. The sharpened metal beaks had sunk into his own arm, it was quickly dispatched by a deft swipe of his katana but dozens more seemed to take its place. How they got out there he didn't know but he was glad they had bunked out when they had, if they'd gotten trapped Leo was certain there would have been more casualties. Or worse. He suppressed a shudder. Thank goodness it was only himself that had come to blows.

Now as they entered the lair Mikey was in near hysterics from the amount of blood and Raph telling him how stupid he was taking the hit for him, huh, the hothead would have done the same thing for him in a heartbeat and Leo would have reacted in just the same way. So he wasn't about to call him on it. Despite wincing from the pain, Leo tried to keep a level head, heck someone had to. It wasn't a life threatening injury as far as he could tell but it hurt like absolute hell.

"Splinter! Master Splinter!" Mikey was shouting, squirreling around him, desperate to get help but unwilling to leave Leo's side. It was getting increasingly difficult to calm him down.

"What happened?!" shouted a concerned voice.

Leonardo glanced across to see Donatello gripping the doorframe of the lab and staring across at them looking terribly worried.

"D! Chompers! Hundreds of little metal chompers bro! One of them bit Leo! Can you get Master Splinter?" Mikey cried earnestly at their purple masked brother.

Donnie's brow creased worriedly and he shook his head. "I'm sorry Mikey, ch- sensei took April out for special training."

"What will we do dudes? Leo's gonna bleed to death!"

"Mikey!" Enough was enough. "I'm not going to bleed to death! Okay? I'm fine."

"Says the guy dripping a puddle of blood on the floor," Raph commented with a grimace.

For a moment Donatello disappeared only to a reappear half a second later carrying a clean cloth in his hands. He dashed down the steps unrolling the fabric as he did so, "Let me see it-," he said reaching for his bleeding appendage.

"Oh, I don't freaking think so Mr. Mad Scientist!" Raph interrupted, stepping in front of him almost as if he were shielding him from Donatello's reaching hands. "Gimme that, I can do it!"

"But sensei isn't here! I-I want to help!" Donnie insisted.

"We're fine!" Raph snapped snatching the fabric from their younger brother's hold. "Go back to your doomsday devices brainiac," the hothead then added as if dismissing the obviously unwanted assistance. "We can can handle this ourselves."

It took a minute (much to his shame) before Leo found his voice and snapped back to the reality of the situation. He felt the blood slipping through his fingers, could actually hear the scarlet droplets dripping into the puddle that was starting to form at his feet. He was starting to feel light headed. Splinter wasn't here and the only thing Raph could do was hold a cloth against his arm which in all honesty wasn't enough, who knew when sensei would be home.

"Hang on, hold up Raph," he found himself saying, side stepping away from the red turtle's protective bulk. "Maybe Donatello can help."

"I ain't having this wierdo examine you Leo!" the hothead growled.

He saw Donnie visibly bristle at Raphael's words, he snatched the cloth back and shouldered past the hothead. He motioned to Leo to hold out his arm and without hesitation he did so. His younger brother tilted his head, frowning slightly "Those are deep," he heard him mutter before pressing the clean cloth against his wounds, making Leo release a hiss of pain. "Hold it there," he ordered, Leonardo nodded.

"Is he going to be okay D?" Leo then heard Mikey asking almost plaintively.

"Yes Mikey," Donatello said calmly, resting a hand on the fretting turtle's shoulder. "Leonardo will be okay but can you go and fetch me some clean towels?"

"Towels?"

"Yes, as many as you can find. Can you do that for me Mikey?"

Leo watched Michelangelo's head bobble up and down. "Yeah, yeah, sure D, I can do that!" with that his baby brother sped off to complete his assigned task, satisfied that his oldest brother was in safe hands.

For a moment he gave Donatello a questioning look. The purple ninja raised his eye ridges before giving him a small smile. Suddenly understanding Leo nodded his head.

"Why exactly did you ask Mikey to fetch you towels, you gonna turn Leo into a mummy or somethin'?" Raph asked sarcastically.

Donatello released a deep sigh. "No, I sent Mikey to fetch towels so he didn't have to see Leonardo get his arm sutured."

"Whaddaya mean 'sutured'? What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

"It means Leonardo needs stitches in his arm," Donatello said with exasperation.

"Go help him Raph," Leonardo finally said.

"Excuse me?"

"Go and help Mikey Raph," he said firmly, fixing his green eyed brother with a hard stare.

"I am not leavin' _you_ alone with _him_!" Raph spat belligerently, pointing an accusatory finger at Donatello.

"Yes you are!" Leonardo snapped back. "I'm fed up with your paranoid delusions! Now go and help Mikey, NOW!"

He watched as Raphael sucked in a breath and obviously biting back the anger that was thrusting itself dangerously forward. An acid green glare snapped to stare at Donatello as Raph raised two fingers to his eyes and pointed them directly at Donnie. "I'm watchin' you poindexter!" he warned before stalking off.

Leonardo shook his head, "I'm sorry about him," he uttered. "He's been driving me nuts for months now."

"It's-it's okay Leonardo," Donnie responded quietly, glancing awkwardly at the ground. "I'm-I'm used to it."

Leonardo's features creased. He opened his mouth to say something but Donatello cut him short.

"Follow me," he motioned to him and led Leo toward the lab, looking worried and apprehensive.

~MNID~

Leonardo had to admit he hadn't ventured into Donatello's lab much but he wasn't totally unfamiliar with it. There was a long workbench and a large salvaged desk with a computer that Donatello had built himself in his early months in the lair. That in itself Leo found staggering. He actually 'built' a computer from reclaimed parts from junkyards that April had helped him find. And it worked! How he'd managed to get a junkyard made computer to work Leo would never know. He would go as far as to say he was somewhat intimidated by his younger brother's intellect and engineering skills. He was sure he would be one of the smartest people he would ever meet and he was _his_ brother. He couldn't believe it really. He must sound like such a dork to him when he spoke.

"I-I'm afraid I haven't got an examination area set up yet," Donatello apologised unnecessarily, indicating to a corner of the lab where a stack of reclaimed equipment lay, waiting to be put together.

Leo raised his eye ridges. He hadn't even realised Donatello was assembling what was obviously a 'medical' examination area. "That's okay, I don't mind," he found himself saying and then cringed at his own words. He really did sound like a dork.

Donatello indicated a chair and feeling terribly sheepish he slipped into it. Moments later Donnie pulled a stool up after setting a self made first aid kit on the work surface next to him. "Let's-let's have a proper look," the youth murmured, stammering in that all too familiar way, making it clear to Leonardo that the poor guy was nervous again. It must have been something he had become accustomed to doing after being under Stockman's guardianship for so long. His brow creased in sympathy but he couldn't find the right words to say.

Leonardo gritted his teeth as Donatello removed the now sodden cloth and discarded it. With a secondary clean cloth he dipped it into a bowl of warm water that Leonardo never saw him get. He noted the moment's hesitation Donnie made before lifting his wounded arm to hold it steady and began cleaning it. There was an awkward two minutes silence as the pair of them sat, flicking uncertain glances at eachother before reverting them back to focus on something more neutral.

Leo finally decided to take the plunge when his soft spoken brother beat him to it.

"I'm-er, I-I'm sorry, you know, for what happened in the dojo a few days ago."

Leonardo blinked. So that must be why Donatello appeared so nervous. He had to admit he'd thought he'd done something terribly wrong but after briefly witnessing Donatello being consoled by April and then Master Splinter, he immediately made himself scarce. The poor guy had some internal demons to deal with as was made apparent in the dojo and considering his upbringing Leonardo was not surprised and tried not to take Donnie's dismissal of his help personally although it had hurt. He was hardly one to hold a grudge against his own brother.

"No, it's, it's okay you know. No hard feelings, I understand," the moment the words slipped past his tongue Leo winced at the look Donatello cast at him. 'Really?' it seemed to say. _Urgh, I'm such an idiot!_ He should have kept his mouth shut, why was he saying all the wrong things? He had to get off this topic because it was making him squirm.

"So, you think I need stitches?" he offered, swiftly changing the subject.

Looking glad to turn away from the previous conversation, Donatello nodded. "Almost certainly," he said matter of factly. "What did Mikey say that bit you Leonardo?"

"Well he called them Chompers but in all honesty I'm not exactly sure what they were. Small little robots of some kind? They had sharp metal beaks and there were droves of them, they just seemed to burst out of the ground and then came right for us."

"Hmmm," Donnie's soft brown gaze drifted off to the side, considering Leo's words. He finally blinked and shook his head as if dismissing whatever idea had entered his mind.

"What is it?" Leo asked with a curious tip of his head. "Do they sound familiar to you?"

"No, no," Donatello said a little too quickly. "It just reminded me of something, it's nothing," he reached for a bottle of antiseptic from the work top and didn't elaborate any further on it. "I'll need to cleanse your wounds before I can stitch them," he said quietly.

Before Leo could question Donnie's previous hesitation, his gaze snapped up from his arm to stare at his younger brother. " _You_ are going to stitch them?"

Donatello raised innocent wide eyes to him, looking slightly confused. "Well, yes. Who else is there?"

Leo shrugged his shoulders. "Well the last time someone needed stitches round here, it was Master Splinter. I mean, he's the one who fixed your neck," he said awkwardly.

Donatello looked away for a moment, absently feeling the scar in question before glancing back up. "Well, sensei isn't here and he probably won't be for a few more hours. I can't just leave your arm unsutured and since I'm the only one here who knows how to properly do it it would be irresponsible of me not to do it. It's logical," he explained.

Wow. Donnie had him there, that was for sure. He watched as his little brother now swiped the medicinal alcohol over his lacerations, not able to stop the hisses of discomfort that escaped between his teeth at the stinging sensations.

"I'm sorry," Donnie uttered apologetically. "I should have warned you, iodine stings but it's the better antiseptic I found."

The fact that Donnie seemed so knowledgeable about treating cuts and abrasions was a little disconcerting. Exactly how and when did the younger turtle learn this sort of first aid? To be honest, he didn't want to actually think about it.

When the younger turtle was satisfied, he laid Leo's arm on the table they sat beside and snapped on a mended anglepoise lamp so it shone over the cuts that needed attention. Cleaning his hands he returned and pulled out a what compromised as his 'suture' kit. April must have sourced some these materials and tools for him because there wasn't anyway they had been taken from a junkyard. He threaded a needle with surprisingly dexterous ease and peering across at the several lacerations he lightly tapped Leonardo's arm. "I-I'm going to start here," he uttered.

Leo nodded, bracing himself. He'd never needed more than four stitches before for wounds he had sustained in the past but this time it seemed he'd be needing a heck of a lot more than just four.

"It'll pinch a bit and well, if you've had it done before you'll probably know how it feels," he said quietly.

Leonardo nodded. "Yeah, I'm familiar with it," he nodded.

"I-I mean I'd use a numbing agent for a localised wound but April and I haven't been able to source anything easily available yet I'm afraid. I've been trying to come up with my own alternative but I've not finished the experimentation on it yet," he explained which made Leo's eyes widened a bit in surprise.

"Don't worry about it," he found himself saying.

Donatello's sights were then focused in his first stitch and Leonardo ground his teeth to stop and sounds of discomfort escaping. After the sixth stitch on the first cut was completed, Leo who had always been fascinated by how Master Splinter had done it was amazed at how neat and precise each suture his younger brother made was. It was no good he did want to know why and how Donnie was so proficient in this grim ability.

"Donatello? Can I ask you something?"

Not looking up as he finished up the first laceration, Donnie nodded. "Sure."

Leonardo took a breath and held it for a moment before he spoke. "Where and how did you learn how to do this?"

Donatello paused, rolling the suture thread between his thick fingers, needle in the other hand as a possible memory must have flashed through his thoughts. "I-in Stockman's lab, I-I learnt to do it out of pure necessity," he murmured and then threaded the waiting needle.

Leo frowned curiously. "But why would you even need too?"

"I-I don't know how much you know or are familiar with but working in a laboratory stroke workshop can be rather hazardous, especially for a child," he uttered glancing briefly to the side.

Leonardo was more intrigued than ever. "At exactly what age, did Stockman get you working in his lab?"

"Oh, quite early," Donatello answered plainly as if it were the most natural thing. "I was five going on six."

"What?! Seriously?"

"Yeah, I was quite excited about it at the time," he murmured with a touch of sadness in his voice. "Anyway, I quickly learnt that if I pinched my fingers or toes, trapped them, grazed or bruised myself that I had to sort myself out. Stockman was always busy and he always told me to figure it out on my own and at the time I thought it was all part of a learning process. I didn't mind until the one day I seriously cut myself on one of the metal cutting tools. I thought as my father he would drop everything and sort it out because I was scared you know? But he didn't, sent me to my room and told me to stop dripping blood on the floor. I mean I figured it out, I had a first aid book and everything. I don't think I did too bad a job considering I was eight years old at the time," he raised up his left arm and held it up for Leonardo to see the one inch long scar that marred the inside of his forearm.

"God Donnie," Leo gasped, in complete shock. "I can't believe Stockman would let a child mend a wound like that on himself!"

Donnie looked up at him, eyes wide and flooded with naivety and innocence. "There was no one else," he glanced at the scar and his eye ridges raised in remembrance. "This wasn't actually the worst one, this only needed four sutures. Five years ago I working on one of Stockman's bigger inventions and a metal panel hadn't been secured properly, as I began working on it there was a squeal and a woosh and before I knew it I had a gash tear through my leg, knee to ankle," Donnie reached down pulled up the hem of his jeans revealing one of the ugliest scars that Leo had ever seen. A complete curving indentation that travelled from just below the centre of his kneecap, across and down where it disappeared into one of the thick brown leather foot gloves Donatello wore, no doubt reaching straight down another several inches to his ankle.

Leonardo blanched in spite of himself, "how many stitches was that?" he found himself asking.

"Twenty-nine," Donnie replied, rolling down his trouser leg and turning back to resume working on Leo's arm. "Because of my height it was a tricker one to treat," he shook his head at the memory. "It took me about two and half hours."

He then took up the needle to begin on the next wound. "I've worn the 'foot gloves' ever since," he muttered as an afterthought.

Leonardo could only sit and stare at his little brother with shock and complete sense of awe. How mentally strong did he have to be to stitch up his wounds at the age of eight? And then everyday since then when he sustained such an injury? It boggled the mind. He sat for a good few minutes, gazing at Donatello with what he could only describe as admiration. Although he had always had his own self doubts, Leonardo had always prided himself on his own ability to keep a level head in a crisis. It seemed he wasn't the only one who could do that in the family, only with Donnie it was evident that he didn't see this quality in himself.

Half an hour later, Donatello was done, dressing the wounds and giving Leonardo instructions on what he could and couldn't do and how long the stitches would have to stay intact. As the younger turtle finished securing the bandages Leo peered up, trying to catch Donnie's eyes but the teen seemed solely focussed on his task at hand.

"Donnie?" he ventured quietly. There was a gentle murmur of acknowledgement and Leo decided to continue. "Thank you for doing this for me," he said genuinely. "It looks really professional."

Chestnut orbs slid back up to catch his dark blue ones and Donatello shrugged. "It's okay, it's nothing, it's the least I could do," and he gazed to the side. "I mean, I-I've done my best," he added shyly, indicating to Leo's now bound arm.

Seriously? Couldn't his poor brother accept a compliment? "No really, I mean none of us have ever had the benefit of a doctor but you could really be one!"

Donatello released a half hearted laugh and shook his head. "I don't think so, I just know some basic first aid."

"But Don-"

"I got them D! I got the towels!"

And just like that the moment was gone. Leo sighed as Donatello threw Michelangelo a small smile.

"That's great Mikey, can you put them on the table over there."

Watching with a sinking sense of defeat Leo sighed as Mikey placed an archaic stack of towels on a table nearby. Obviously hearing him, Michelangelo duly whipped around and upon seeing him with his arm bound up scampered over and immediately threw his arms about him.

"Leo, Leo Leo!" He chimed. "You're okay! D did it! He fixed you up!"

Leonardo had to grab the seat of the chair to stop himself being unintentionally knocked off it due to his youngest brother's enthusiasm. "Yes Mikey, I'm okay," he said genially, accepting the hug with a half hug of his own before letting go. "D did a really good job," he threw a small smile Donatello's way and the purple ninja dropped his gaze.

Mikey instantly disentagled himself from Leo and launched himself at Donnie who received the incoming hug with a somewhat startled expression. "Thank you D! Thank you!" he gushed.

By the time Mikey pulled away the guy was flushed pink with embarrassment. "Y-you're welcome Mikey," he uttered, clearly unsure of what else to say.

As he watched Leo sighed. They still had so far to go, and he still felt like he was helplessly floundering in his efforts but he wouldn't give up. _Hamato Leonardo is no quitter_ , he silently told himself as he felt his bandaged arm.

~MNID~

 **Did you know...**

 **When I originally planned out the chapters for this story this particular one didn't exist? Whelp, it does now! XD After looking over my plans I saw I had two really angsty chapters back to back and I honestly felt like there was something missing. Something extra to slot in to make the next chapter work more smoothly and I wanted to give readers a little more insight into GP's past and other skills he'd developed under Stockman's 'guardianship' and I really wanted to give a certain turtle in blue some more 'screen time' as it were! XD**

 **So I hope dear readers you all liked this little bit extra and thank you to those who have taken the time to comment, fav and/or follow this story :) I really do appreciate it! So please, don't be shy I love reading comments, even little short ones, they really brighten my day! Thank you all again and sit tight, I'm planning out the proceeding chapter as I type this! Things will really start to heat up... :D :D :D**


	9. Confrontation

**Notes at the bottom! :)**

~MNID~

Chapter 9 Confrontation

It had been almost two weeks since the display in the dojo when Raph had been pinned to the floor by his mask. Despite his words and actions, the kid didn't give up the Ninjutsu like he said he was. It seemed understanding words, a sympathetic ear and time was all that was needed to change the youth's mind because now he wore a belt and strap across his shoulder (slightly reminiscent to Leo's) and constantly carried that silly stick around with him. Although Raph couldn't help but remember the lethal blade jabbing out of the end whenever he saw the stupid thing. It made him shudder.

Raphael grunted and served his well beaten punching bag a hefty blow. Why the hell did Master Splinter see fit to give the nutcase his weapon back? I mean c'mon! A hair closer and they all would be planning his funeral right now! Slam! Slam! Left hook, right hook! PUNCH! PUNCH! PUNCH! The punch bag jolted and jumped from Raph's onslaught, looking even more sorrier for itself as the seconds passed.

'I missed.'

Raph's face fell into a snarl and he showered a series of thundering blows upon the unfortunate target of his sudden impotent fury. Why did everyone pander towards that weirdo? Why was Mikey so ridiculously trusting toward him? Why did Leo walk around him like he was standing on eggshells? Why was April forever hovering near to him like a moth to a flame? Moths got burnt didn't they? Why was everyone acting this way?! The world was going crazy and all Raphael wanted was it all to go back to normal, the way it was before he carried the mental son of bitch out of the that warehouse. It seemed to take forever to wash off the blood that spilled from the self inflicted wound on the back of the guy's neck. It stained his plastron scarlet, seemingly finding every single dink and crack to seep into. Raph suppressed an internal shiver.

Those narrowed white eyes, staring straight inside him.

With a ferocious yell Raphael threw his heaviest punch yet and the supposedly heavy duty bag finally gave up the fight. Sand spilled and the haphazard piece of training equipment flew from its holdings whereupon it thunked noisily to the floor and bled the rest of its gritty lifeblood.

A shocked yelp met the red ninja's ears and Raph's sharp green gaze snapped up, sighting the issuer of the strangled noise. His eyes narrowed and he subconsciously rolled his shoulders.

"Well, speak of the devil," he couldn't help but growl. "It's the resident nut job."

The fourth turtle stood on the opposite side of the main living area, looking for the world like a deer caught in the proverbial headlights. He clutched something silvery under his arm and levelled an almost fearful stare at Raphael as he stood there quaking.

"So what are you dissectin' now Frankenstein? What are you sneaking off with?"

The youngster's mouth opened for a second and then snapped it shut much like a drowning fish. The wimp tried again and finally stuttered, "th-the toaster. Leonardo asked if I could look at it, said it stopped working this morning."

"Yeah, it did. The dork fried it," Raph said bluntly.

"O-oh," the brainiac murmured. "W-well I-I said I wo-would look at it f-for him."

Raph shook his head and the abrupt thought of Leo placed a sudden question upon his tongue. "Hey, I'm curious tell me, what was that crap you pulled a couple of weeks back? How the heck did you know how stitch up Leo's arm the way you did?"

The lanky youth's tense stance relaxed a little, as if dropping his guard. "I-I taught myself how to do it, years ago," he answered quietly.

Raph's eye ridges raised themselves of their own free will. It took a few seconds but Raph's usual surly demeanour slipped back into its rightful place. "You so didn't Frankenstein," he scowled disbelievingly.

The geek nodded earnestly. "But I did, I had no other choice, I had to learn how to do it, as a necessity."

"No, no, no, no," Raphael grumbled, quickly heading off the youth as he tried to head back towards his freaky lab. He blocked his path and shook his head. "No way in hell you get that good at something without being shown how to do it first."

"But I wasn't!" The kid insisted, now hugging the toaster to his plastron. "I-I read it in a book, wi-with diagrams."

"Oh c'mon admit it, Stuckman showed you didn't he?"

A slight frown creased the purple ninja's features. "No!"

"Yeah, he did," Raph sneered. "Why would ya get so defensive about it, huh? No sense trying to wriggle out of it, I'm sure you've got some hunk of junk in that creepy lab of yours feeding him information as we speak, aren't you? Loyal to the whack job Stackmun!" and he jabbed a thick finger straight into his plastron.

The darkness that fell across Donatello's face was like the brewing sky before a violent storm. His jaw was set and his hands about the toaster tightened. "Ho-how d-dare you!" he snapped, knocking the appendage away with the appliance he now gripped. "How dare you call me loyal to th-that monster that kept me incarcerated for thirteen years! And it took that long for me to see that he was my gaoler, not father! I was his prisoner and I worked for him because I was too young and stupid to know any different! You, Mikey and Leonardo have always had a freedom down here, a freedom I never had, so I'm sorry I behave and act so 'differently' around you!" He threw a hand above his head as he spoke, wildly gesticulating as if to get his point across. "I was Stockman's Guinea Pig, that's what he called me, that's what he regarded me as! He was laughing at me all that time, using me!" the livid turtle then came up close, ramming his own finger against Raph's scuffed and scarred plastron. "Do you know what that man did after he first encountered all of you?"

Not sure how to react to this outburst, Raph deigned to minutely shake his head, his expression in neutral not knowing what to expect.

"The following day I woke up sore in places I won't even dare to mention, it had had happened before but this time I was suspicious. I hacked the security feed an-and I saw him-," the boy hesitated, his eyes suddenly looking deeply pained. "I saw Stockman poking and prodding, examining me trying to figure out how I worked. He violated me, in order to find a weakness to use against you! The man I used to call my father betrayed my trust, stole my innocence and you dare, you freaking dare to call me loyal to him?!" the kid's stare had now become both infuriated and glassy at the same time.

In that short space of time Raph's face had pulled into an expression of absolute shock. Eye ridges raised, green orbs wide as this chilling confession was relayed to him. He felt an uncomfortable tingle streak to back of his neck as he stared back into the livid expression of the other mutant.

"You've been on my case ever since I got here and all I've strived to do is help the family I never knew I had! So you can either accept that fact or you can stay the hell out of my way Raphael!" With that Donatello shouldered past him, tucking the toaster under his arm as he resolutely marched back to his lab, swiping a free hand across across his unseen eyes, no doubt to brush away the wetness that lingered there. Seconds later the lab door slammed with enough force to bounce back off its hinges.

The resounding clang echoed around the chamber. Moments later Leonardo came hurrying down the dojo steps. Raph's eyes remained fixed on the lab doors. What the hell had just happened?

~MNID~

The moment Leo reached the main living area the argument was over. Raph was standing staring almost unnervingly ahead and it took two attempts to get his immediate younger brother to register his presence.

"Hey! What the heck just happened in here?" he demanded.

"Huh?" Raphael blinked and then realised that Leo was stood right beside him.

"You were arguing with Donatello again, weren't you? What did you say to him now?"

It took a second but Raph's brow promptly slammed down. "Mind your own freakin' business Leo!" he barked, squaring his shoulders before stalking off.

How Leo kept missing this altercations between the middle brothers he just didn't know. It was the slam of lab dor that sent him running. Since April had an errand to run with Mikey who wanted to 'tag along' (how could she say no to him?) and Splinter taking one of his solitary sewer walks, he was the only one to respond to the noise. He would have done regardless but he cursed himself for not keeping a closer ear on the happenings going on in his own home.

Leonardo's eyes drifted across to the entrance of his smart brother's safe haven and felt an uneasy tension grip his chest. He really didn't know what to expect on the other side of those doors but he couldn't do nothing. What sort of big brother would he be if he didn't check on his little brother when something went wrong? A pretty dreadful one.

Mind made up, swallowing down his own awkwardness and absently feeling the itching stitches Leonardo made to tap on the door. His knuckles hovered when he heard it, light snuffling followed by barely whispered words that he couldn't quite discern. For a second guilt acutely flared in his breast until he managed to get a hold of himself. Not hesitating any further he tapped on the lab's door.

"Donnie?"

The snuffling instantly stopped. "Yes Leonardo?"

Leo's features creased in sympathy, he still called him by his full name. "Are you busy?"

"No, no," came the meek reply. "You can come in."

Leo stepped inside, catching Donatello swipe the back of his left hand across his his eyes before falling on to something on the workbench.

"What are you working on?" he asked, deciding to start on neutral territory.

"Oh ah," Donatello rolled back a bit on his office chair and slid the object into sight. "The toaster," he said quietly.

Now standing beside his little brother, Leo felt his cheeks burn. "Oh yeah, I did mention that didn't I?" he answered awkwardly, rubbing a hand over the back of his head. "Find out what's wrong with it?"

"No, not yet, I've only just started looking at it," he confessed. He pointed across to him to four unfinished devices lined up with their parts still to install laying neatly beside them. "I've been working on those. I-I just wanted to take a break from them."

"By, fixing the toaster?"

Donnie nodded, "yes."

Leo frowned curiously and looked across at his smart sibling's most recent project. "So, what are those?"

Donatello seemed to brighten up almost immediately. "Ah, they are hand held personal communication devices."

"Oh! So they're like a cell phone?"

The younger turtle's stance melted just as quickly. "Yeah," he replied flatly, slumping back. "They're cell phones."

Leonardo frowned across at his younger brother, feeling decidedly puzzled. "And why do you make that sound like a bad thing?"

"I mean come on!" the purple ninja threw a hand in the air. "They're cell phones! April can easily get hold of them for you. I'm just wasting everybody's time," he sighed sadly.

"Donnie! Nothing that you do around here is a waste of anyone's time!" Leonardo exclaimed. "In the time that you have been here, I've personally been staggered by what you have accomplished, for all of us and the things that you make are from salvaged materials! How is that a waste of time? It's amazing!"

Donatello just shook his head, glancing down as if he just couldn't accept Leo's words. "Those sutures are probably ready to come out now, can I check?" he said abruptly.

Baffled by the sudden change of topic the leader looked at his bandaged arm. "I-I," he stammered before collecting his thoughts. "Yeah, sure."

Leonardo watched numbly as Donatello removed the white gauze and carefully examined each of the former lacerations that crossed his arm.

Donnie nodded, more to himself than to Leonardo. "Yes, those are ready. The wounds have healed well," he uttered.

As Donatello cleared his work space, cleaning the surface and retrieving the items he needed for the procedure Leo peered down at the neat stitches that had helped his cuts seal his flesh and let skin recover. He tilted his head and frowned. "Donnie?" he said solemnly.

The youth took up Leo's arm and picked up a scalpel blade. "Hold still," was his response.

"Donnie?"

He didn't look up, he just neatly and meticulously snapped each of the first row of sutures and gently removed them with surprisingly dexterous fingers.

"Donnie?" Leo tried again, the edge of his voice hardening with frustration.

Donatello took a breath but stayed focussed on his task.

Leo sighed and tried one more time, "D?"

Bright chestnut eyes suddenly slid up to meet his briefly before rolling back down. "I know why you're really here," he said quietly. "Ask me the question."

Leo blinked but wasn't too surprised, he guessed it was pretty obvious why he was really there. There was no sense beating around the bush any further. "What was the argument with Raph about?"

Donatello breathed in deeply and then shook his head, not looking up. "I don't want to talk about it," he said bluntly.

"D, if something happened you need to tell me," Leo said firmly.

"I said I don't want to talk about it."

"Look, you are a part of this family D and I'm not gonna let Raphael treat you like a stranger in your own home!"

D's head snapped up, his face drawn into a scowl but his soft eyes were obviously glassy with suppressed upset. "NO! I said I DON'T want to talk about it!" he snapped back almost vehemently. He took a firmer grip on Leonardo's arm and twisted it to get at the third set of sutures. "Now hold still, I'm almost finished," he uttered sullenly, the fire suddenly gone.

Leonardo reluctantly relented. "Fine, I'll just speak to Raph and smooth things out-"

"NO!" A panicked look entered Donnie's eyes. "Ah, I mean no, really I can handle it myself. I'm used to it. It's fine."

"No it's not fine D, Raph is a hothead, you know that. He doesn't mean everything he says, you shouldn't take it to heart. It's-," Leonardo struggled for the right words to say. "It's just in his nature. He'll come round, he can be, just stubborn beyond words sometimes."

"That's an understatement."

Leo couldn't stop the wince the captured his face in that moment. He was beginning to feel that he was getting nowhere.

D pulled the last stitch free and gently wiped Leo's healing skin down. The wounds were still visible and it was clear that another bandage would be needed to protect them as Donnie duly told him. "You probably already know this but, you still have to be careful, if those wounds are bumped or stretched they could swell, bleed or split open," he began to wind a fresh bandage about Leo's arm and let out a slight snort. "I learnt that the hard way," he murmured.

Leonardo nodded in understanding, brow creasing in sympathy as he remembered what his younger brother had revealed to him the last time they had properly spoken. Two weeks? Three? Too long really. "D, you know I'm here for you, if you ever need to talk to someone. Remember that?"

Donatello glanced away as he finished. "Sure," was the quiet reply. With that he turned back to his workbench, tidying away all the medical supplies he'd been using.

Leonardo reached out, and lightly touched the youth's shoulder. "Hey, I mean it little brother."

Donatello paused and seemed to stare straight ahead at something that Leo knew he would never see. "I know," he uttered finally. That was all he said.

Dipping his head Leo let his hand drop and backed away. "I-I'll let you get on with that toaster," he stammered and turned away with regret balling tightly in his chest.

Leonardo reached the door, hearing his younger sibling put away his first aid kit, the squeak of the old office chair as he sat back down and the distinctive sound of the toaster as it was pulled across the worktop. In all honesty, Leo didn't know what he was doing wrong. He was saying all the right things wasn't he? Gah, really who knew! D, emotionally damaged by that monster Stockman as he was, was just as stubborn as some other people he knew. Donatello never reached out for help, as eager as he was to offer it. He kept to himself, housing everything inside reinforced concrete including his problems, fears and goodness knew what else. He was so guarded on that front rarely sharing anything. He never said how he got the awful crack in his shell. The young leader shuddered.

About to close the door behind him, Leonardo suddenly froze. He heard something clink against something metallic then hit the wooden desk and roll off where it tumbled to the floor with a clatter. A juddering intake of breath followed, then a muffled hiccup, the unmistakable sound of a smothered sob. The heart wrenching noise persisted and a frown split across his brow. No. Stubborn and private as Donatello was, he wasn't going to stand there and let his little brother fall apart from the inside out.

He pulled the door shut firmly behind him and strode across the chamber. Before the younger turtle could react he grabbed the chair and spun it around to face him. "Damn it D, don't keep shutting me out!"

He felt Donnie's gloved feet brace against the floor as he tried to push himself away, but his grip was resolute and the tall mutant wasn't going anywhere. The tearful expression presented to him was a combination of shock and dismay, maybe even a hint of fear.

"I'm here to help you! Talk to me for goodness sake!"

D, his mouth sealed shut, madly shook his head and then did something that actually took Leo by total surprise. He swiftly raised his left foot and planted a firm shove in his upper plastron which forced Leo to let go with a gasp. The chair shot backwards. "Just leave me alone," he begged as he leapt up and tried to make a break for the exit.

Fast as he was, Leo was faster and reached out grabbing Donatello's trailing hand. He dug in his heels as an anchor and literally dragged his sibling to halt. "Stop blocking and let it out Donnie."

"Let me go!" he whimpered, still tugging in desperation.

"D?" Leo's voice came out as a whisper and his stance slackened. He gave his sibling's hand a gentle but decisive squeeze. "Don't be scared. I'm not here to judge. I'm here to listen. I'm here for you."

Then something happened. D stopped struggling. He hung his head and sniffed at the floor.

"Look Donnie," Leonardo began softly. "I'm not gonna pretend that the eight or so months-"

"Nine months and four days," he was quietly corrected.

Leo felt a small smile briefly flit across his features before he continued. "Nine months and four days, I'm not gonna pretend it has been easy for any of us, most of all you and I apologise for not being there when you needed me. I'm sorry I let it get this bad with Raphael and I promise from this day forward to be the big brother you need, that you deserve."

The longest minute in history seemed to pass as Leonardo waited for a response. When the proceeding seconds began to tick by Leo tried again, maybe, just maybe he was getting through to his second youngest sibling. Silence no matter how long was better than protests right?

"You know I don't care what you did, or where you came from, you are and always have been my little brother. Nothing will ever change that," a slight sniff and then more silence followed. One last try. "I just need to tell you this one last thing, growing up I always felt deep down that someone was missing, someone important. I was always looking for someone that I subconsciously felt I had left behind and when we first met, I knew it was you Don. I knew," the young leader sighed when the familiar silence lingered too long and he finally began to relinquish his hold.

The grip on his retreating fingers immediately intensified and whispered words got lost on the airs about them.

Leo paused, frowning curiously. "What was that Don?"

"Don't let go."

Leonardo's features creased in sympathy. "I won't if you don't want me to," he said quietly.

"I should never, had, let go," Donatello muttered mournfully. "It was just a teddy bear, I-I could've found another one."

Teddy bear? Did he mean that squeaky stuffed bear that Mikey still had?

"Wh-when chichi took off, I-I couldn't keep hold of your hand after I threw Mikey back his teddy bear when he dropped it. You tri-tried to stop chichi, y-you all did b-but he kept going."

Leonardo's eyes widened. Holey cow, Donatello was recalling how he got lost. He remembered all of them! Woah. How incredible was that?

"I-it was s-so cold, all I wanted was chichi and your hand back," the whimpering turtle uttered.

"Don I-"

Donatello's form suddenly crumbled and the poor youth literally collapsed to his knees as a strangled choke escaped his convulsing breast.

Instantly Leonardo was in front of him, down on his knees, free hand on his shoulder as his woebegone brother sobbed in deep reaching breaths. "Easy, easy little brother," he reassured.

"Huh-huh-y-ya-you tr-trust m-me, L-Leo?"

The older mutant's brow raised but his answer was immediate. "Always."

"Th-then wh-why does-doesn't Ra-Raphael?" he wept desperately.

Leo's chest tightened, feeling a lump swell in his own throat as he realised why his brother was so distraught. He wrapped his arm about the back of D's head and pulled him in close, feeling the wracking sobs jolt through his own body as he held his young brother against him. "He will Don," Leonardo said almost fiercely. "He will," and even as he spoke those words he felt the tears prickle in his own eyes. One thing was for absolute certain. Raphael needed to get his freaking act together.

~MNID~

 **Did you know:**

 **That I actually wrote a first draft of this chapter whilst I was still only midway through 'The Guinea Pig' ? Whelp, yep I did! XD (Man, was that a long time ago! XD ) However, although this chapter still has elements of that original draft , it became a lot more emotional in the re-writing. I just hope it packs the punch I was aiming for...**

 **And, can I dedicate chapters? Yes, I will. This chapter I dedicate this chapter for you Flaux, for all your encouragement and wonderful comments that keep me going! Happy Birthday my dear! :D :D :D :D**


	10. MOUSERS

**Apologies my dear readers for the immensely long wait but this chapter turned into a beast! Three chapters became one and the original plan changed quite a bit. Wrapping my head around what needed to happened and how to make it happen, had me floundering for the longest time. I removed scenes, slotted in new ones and tried to weave it all together to make it as coherent as I could. I'm always cagey about posting chapters containing a lot of Raphael because I'm always worried about how I portrayed him. So, I'm taking a deep breath and finally posting!**

 **Check the end of this chapter for more notes. :)**

 ***MNID***

Raph grunted in frustration as he attempted to mend the holes in the ripped punching bag. Clumsy stitches lined it and the turtle cursed at he caught his finger on the chunky needle for the umpteenth time in so many minutes. The T.V. blared a short distance in front of him, his baby brother, laying on his stomach with his freckled face cupped in his hands watching the current programme as if it was the best thing since sliced pizza.

"Ah! Ow! Darn it!" he hissed louder than he meant to.

"You should totally get D to help you with that Raph," Mikey said over his shoulder. "He has so many awesome tools in his lab."

Raph glared across at the smaller mutant who hadn't even turned around. "I don't think so Mikey," _the guy's an absolute train wreck_ , his mind silently added on.

"Why don't you give Don a break Raph?" Leo's unwelcome voice sounded in his other ear. Raphael scowled. "It's been long enough."

"No offence Leo but stick it, okay?"

His big brother threw him a disapproving glare but thankfully didn't broach the topic any further. His deep blue eyes drifted back to his magazine as he flipped another page staying quiet but clearly not happy.

Raph struggled with a couple more stitches, when he stabbed himself with the needle again. This proved to be too much for the impatient hothead and he threw the defunct punching bag to the floor. "Stupid piece of-!"

"How did you bust the bag up again Raph? Just out of curiosity," Leo said, with irritating smoothness.

"What does it matter Leo?" Raph snapped. "I punched it too hard, that's it! Like you couldn't figure that out for yourself?"

"Yes I did, I was just wondering why you were punching it so hard in the first place."

At first Raph was going to say nothing but when Leonardo seemed to throw him a superior look, he couldn't hold his tongue. "Because this whole stupid place has gone completely, freaking crazy Leo!" he all but shouted. "I mean that nutcase almos-"

'"Hey dudes! It's those Chompers!" Mikey suddenly interrupted, inadvertently putting a stop to Raph's potential blow up.

"What?" Leo was immediately on his feet and standing right behind Michelangelo.

Grumbling inaudibly Raphael stood alongside them and inclined his head. Then he hiked an eye ridge as a familiar face filled the screen. "What the heck is Stockjerk doin' on the TV?"

Mikey shrugged and the group watched as the female reporter fielded questions to the rangy, bespectacled scientist.

" _Mr. Stockman I'm sure that you are well aware that your company shares have taken quite a dramatic nose dive in the past nine months, can you tell me why you believe now is a good time to release a brand new product to the market considering those losses?"_

" _Why yes, of course Jenny. What I learnt over that time is that you get nowhere in this life unless you take risks and I that is exactly what I'm doing now with launching my brand new patented pest control invention the MOUSER-"_

"MOUSER?" Mikey echoed. "Huh, I like Chompers better-"

"Mikey shush!" Leo said raising his fingers as he continued to listen to the broadcast, throwing a worried glance over his shoulder.

" _What can you tell us about your MOUSERS Mr Stockman?"_

" _They are on the cutting edge of technology, specially adapted and programmed to seek out and eliminate the pests that as you are well aware are currently plaguing our city."_

"Pests yeah right," Raph snorted. "Ya mean us ya li-,"

"Quiet!" Leo snapped agitatedly, flapping his arm in obvious annoyance and once again looking behind them.

"What's gotten up your freakin' shell Leo?"

Looking highly frustrated, Leo glared across at Raph. "Because I'm listening for clues and I'm sure Don knows something-"

"Whaddaya mean he knows something?!" Raph snapped back. The little nerd _was_ in kahoots with that lunatic scientist! He should've known.

"Not like that!" Leo frowned back. "He never said a word but he _knows_ something! As in he might have seen Stockman work on it! Rein in your stupid paranoia for two minutes would you Raph?"

"What's going on out here?" The arguing pair glanced up and Raph glowered as Donatello stood on the steps to his freaky lab, wiping oil from his hands with a rag.

Leo immediately straightened his back and seemed to take an obvious step to the left as if to block the TV screen. "Nothing Don, it's all okay out here-"

"The hell it is," Raph mumbled which made the lanky know it all frown worriedly.

" _To fully appreciate the beauty of this robot it is a must to see it action, would you and the viewers at home like to see a demonstration of the MOUSER at work Jenny?"_

" _Absolutely."_

The moment the voice of Stockjerk sounded from the television, Donatello instantly paled. The olive green mutant was down the steps and pushing Leo slightly to the side as his attempts to block the TV failed miserably. A shuddering breath escaped his breast and Raph was sure the kid tried to suppress a shudder, because he saw the faint quake to the tall turtle's frame as he approached the screen behind them. A nagging tick entered the back of his mind but the hothead swiftly swept it away.

All eyes were on the fourth turtle as Jerkman rambled pointlessly on, obviously enjoying the attention as he set up his demonstration. The MOUSER was presented on the screen and as the mad scientist tapped away at a flat screen controller, Donatello suddenly slammed a hand to his mouth, his eyes wide with what looked like shock and total disbelief. Fingers slipped and he finally whimpered, "No."

Leo was instantly beside him, hand on his shoulder. "What is it Don? What's wrong?"

A trembling digit was lifted and pointed at the MOUSER now pelting around a makeshift maze. "Th-that's mine."

Raph's eye ridges shot up and stared at the lanky turtle in shock.

"What d'ya mean bro?" Mikey piped up from the floor.

"That-that robot, that's _my_ invention!"

"WHAT?!"

Donatello flinched at the chorus of exclamations. "I-I designed it," he stammered. "I-I never got a chance to build it."

"D, are you saying that Stockman stole your design?" Leo asked quietly.

The boy nodded. "Yeah, he must have hacked my encrypted files on my personal laptop," a frown creased his features as he watched the MOUSER chomp through a stone wall and devour the rat that had been running the maze. There was a sharp intake of breath and a definite anger seemed to seep through the creaks of his obvious upset. "He changed it, I never designed it for that violence. It was meant to help people!"

"What do you mean Don?"

"E.C.H.O.E.R.S. External Construction Help Overseeing Excavating Robotic Sentries That's what I called them."

"Bit of a mouthful bro-," Mikey snapped his beak shut at the look that Donatello threw him.

"I spent over a year working on those blueprints," Don uttered looking crestfallen again.

"You seriously expect us to believe that crap?" Raph suddenly spat out. "That Stecker Box Boy stole your invention? You freaking designed it for him didn't you?!"

The hurt was undeniable as Donatello squared up in front of him, huh, he really was that tall wasn't he? Raph shook the thought. "I thought I'd explained myself to you!" the purple masked mutant growled. "But you obviously were not listening! I. Am. Not. Loyal. To. Baxter. Stockman!"

"You wanna fight Poindexter bring it!" Raph snarled rolling his wide shoulders and shoving the fourth turtle back. "Cause I'm freakin' sick of everyone pandering toward you like you're some sorta wounded animal! You can't stand there and tell me you spent most of your life under that mad scientist and not be loyal to him. You can't shake that sorta thing overnight!"

The pain and hurt that then reflected in those chestnut orbs was undeniable. He'd hit the mark it had seemed. "After what that monster did to me? ARE YOU FREAKING INSANE RAPHAEL?!" his incensed voice echoed across every surface as Leo tried to wedge himself between the pair. As their leader tried to hold him back the youth lurched forward over his shoulder and pointed right at him. "If you had even _half_ a brain cell in that thick skull of yours you would put two and two together! What that man did to me may as well have been molestation! And I-," as the final words dropped from his mouth, Raph literally saw the horror fill his face at what he'd obviously never wanted to let slip out. Donatello's eyes abruptly developed a terribly glassy sheen as he glanced across at Mikey and Leo and before either could react the kid bolted.

The door to the lab slammed closed and much to everyone's surprise the bolt clanged shut. Ever since Donatello had come to live with them he had never locked a door behind him. Ever. Raph felt a prickle of apprehension at the nape of his neck.

"Leo, what does mole-station mean?"

Leo looked real uneasy before answering, "I'll, tell you later Mikey," he said haltingly. Raph instinctively knew that he wouldn't. "Do me a favour and get April on the phone. Tell her we need her here urgently."

"You got it bro!"

Mikey immediately hared off and then storm blue eyes levelled with Raph's. "I don't know what Don said to you Raph," Leo began to admonish, no doubt referring to that 'argument' that had happened just over a week ago, "but you crossed a line!"

Raphael bristled and opened his mouth in retaliation when Leo turned his back and went to find a way into the freaky lab. A guttural growl pushed up his throat and with no outlet to release his frustrations the burly turtle let out a nonsensical bellow of anger.

~MNID~

No less than an half an hour later April was in the lair. Raph sat alone in the pit, Mikey having rushed by him to help Leo console Donatello whilst they waited for her arrival. That's how April found him, sullenly slouched on the integral couch feeding Spike a leaf of lettuce not exactly knowing what else he could do. One thing was for sure, there was no way in hell he was going anywhere near that stupid lab.

"Hey Raph, what's the big emergency? Mikey wasn't exactly clear," April called out as she entered the lair. Raph sensed her foot falls stop as she obviously saw him alone in the pit.

"When is he ever?" he grumbled without looking up.

"Something wrong Raph?" the concern in her voice was abundantly clear.

Raph let out a short sigh and shook his head. "Nah, nothing's wrong April," he glanced away from the side and then added. "Nothin's right either though."

He was a little surprised when April slipped onto the sofa next to him, leaning forward to try and capture his reluctant gaze. "What happened Raph?"

Raphael shrugged his shoulders uncomfortably. "I thought you were here for Donatello, why don't ya go talk to him?"

April's brow creased slightly but she didn't back off like he had hoped. "I'm talking to you Raph," she said adamantly. "Something's happened and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that it involves both you and D."

Sharp as a katana this girl was, he really had to hand it to her. That didn't mean he was going to be cooperative though. "I ain't saying nothin' April."

The redhead's frown became more prominent. "Stop blocking me Raph! I know you have issues with D but nothings gonna get resolved unless you drop the tough guy act for two minutes and let someone in!"

Bright green eyes slid in April's direction his face in neutral before sighing long and low. She wasn't going to leave him in peace until he said something to her. "Fine," he grumbled. "Stockjerk was on the TV, those Chompers that tore up Leo's arm were his. Called 'em Mousers. Then Donatello comes in and says that they were actually his design or somethin'-"

"-And I bet you thought D had thought them up for Stockman?"

Yeah, April knew him pretty damn well. "Yeah somethin' like that," he mumbled, looking away.

April sighed herself in exasperation. "Raph, D is your younger brother for goodness sake! It's been nine months now if something was amiss with him surely something would have happened long before now. I'm pretty sure we've all been saying this but give the poor guy a break, he's trying so hard to fit in, why can't you stop making it so much difficult for him?"

Raph felt himself bristle. "Did you all suddenly forget he almost skewered my freaking head to the floor?!"

"I don't think anyone is gonna forget that Raph," April said calmly. "Donnie just got frustrated, a bit like you really," Raph suppressed a growl. No way was that lunatic anything like him. "He mentioned that he thinks that you don't want him here."

Raphael snorted. "Well, he's got that much right."

"Raph!" April shoved his shoulder taking him completely off guard and forcing him to catch out his hand before he fell flat on the couch on top of Spike.

"Hey! Knock it off April!"

"You are impossible Hamato Raphael!" she snapped, looking more livid than he had ever seen her before. "D also told me that he felt that he didn't belong anywhere! I wonder where that idea came from, huh? You tell me."

April bolted up and climbed out of the pit and a painful pang echoed across his chest at her words. "April I-," the girl he considered as a sister turned her disapproving expression upon him and quirked an eyebrow. "Hell, I don't know if I should mention it but, Donatello he, told me something."

"What did he tell you?"

Raph suddenly balked. Something deep down inside told him it really wasn't his place to say. "It doesn't matter," he said quickly.

April's features immediately softened. "D told you something that bothers you, a lot."

It wasn't a question. Raph shrugged his shoulders awkwardly. "He- he might have done," he finally uttered. To tell the truth it was twisting his guts up inside. One side of him shouted that Donatello couldn't be trusted, he was raised by the enemy for most of his life and Raphael was almost sure that a bond like that couldn't be shattered that easily but the otherside whispered a nagging doubt. The word came back to him. Molestation. Geez. What had Stockman actually done to that kid for him to claim such a horrible thing? A thick cloying blanket of doubt weighted heavily upon him and the red ninja honestly didn't know what to think anymore. It left him frustrated and confused and he didn't know who was right anymore….

"I dunno April the whole situation is freaking well upside down."

"What do you mean Raph?"

Seriously? What had they been talking about for the past five minutes? "Everythin's gone south April!" he snapped. "Have you any idea how weird it's been round here for the past year?"

"Weird?" April folded her arms and leant back on her heel, for the briefest moment reminding him of Leo. It only served to fuel his fire.

"For the past eight months we've had a freakin' stranger livin' amongst us!" Raph clambered out of the pit and faced the redhead.

"Donatello is your family Raph!" April snapped back.

"Oh the hell he is!" Raph's ire had been lit and he couldn't quench the flames fast enough. All that pent up frustration that had been festering burst free and retched out before he reign it all back in. "The geek skulks around and hides things under stupid tarps in that freaky lab of his like Frankenstein!"

"D spent thirteen years in a totally different environment to you Raph! Don't you think that you would skulk around cautiously about people you barely knew?"

Raphael bristled. "He hides things in that lab April! Secret projects, that's what he called them!"

"Just because they're secret doesn't mean they're bad Raph! After all the time that he's been here you haven't even tried to get to know him, have you?"

"What are you talkin' about?"

"If you had even bothered to make an effort you'd realise that nothing he does around this place is for himself!" April continued hotly.

"What does that even mean April?" Raph threw his hands up in exasperation as the girl seemed to continue to make no sense.

"It means the projects under those sheets in his lab he made for you lot not himself!"

At this Raph's words tumbled to a halt and a confused scowl descended across his face. If that was true, maybe that was the reason the brainiac didn't want him storming him into the lab that time? Secretive little dork. Still you couldn't blame for being suspicious, right? It did seem a little suspect at the time.

"Still doesn't make sense to me," he grumbled lowly.

The door the lab suddenly jolted open and the turtle in question came stalking down the steps with Leo and Mikey in hot pursuit. Hmmm, this didn't feel good. Before he knew it the lanky teen was right up in his face hands on his cracked plastron as he shoved him back.

There was obvious dampness about the purple mask as the livid but upset expression creased the damaged youth's features. It quirked a pang of uncertainty in his breast but his face still hardened at the unprovoked attack. What the hell had happened in that lab?

*MNID*

 _A few minutes before….._

GP pulled the bolt shut firmly on his lab's door feeling a combination of empowerment at being able to lock himself in and a rising panic at being behind a bolted door. His breath fluttering in his breast GP hung on the handle, trembling before he found the will to let go and stagger away to his desk.

His limbs practically gave way as he fell into his computer chair as the enormity of what he'd just let slip hit him full force for a second time. GP had never wanted Mikey and Leo to know what had happened to him at the hands of Stockman. He'd only told Raph in a last ditch attempt to get him to try and understand, maybe step back and think about what he was accusing him of. But it seemed Raphael was as distrustful as he was unyielding. It had all been for nothing and now all his brothers knew.

The thought alone filled him with a deep cold dread. He actually felt sick. What must they think of him? A sore knot filled his throat swelling and pushing forwards, causing the moisture in his eyes to brim and tumble down his cheeks against his will. He failed to choke back the sob that bubbled up through him and thrust both hands to his mouth in a vain physical attempt to shove it all down back inside himself. Of course it didn't work and the wretched sound hiccuped out in barely suppressed jolts of anguish.

Then he heard the garage door lift. Darn it! He forgot all about that other entrance!

"Don? You okay?"

GP drew several frantic breaths trying to calm his rattled nerves and raw pulsating emotions. The heels of his gloved palms rapidly scrubbed across his eyes and cheeks to try and erase the wetness that lingered. However the action wasn't fast enough because Leo was beside him in a flash. His automatic response was to swivel his chair away, fists to his face as he tried to wrestle his upset under control.

As much as GP appreciated the concern which he had never been gifted with before there were times where he truly wished to left completely alone. He guessed being a once lost and still damaged soul brought those who cared about him, converging around him like moths to a flame when things went terribly wrong. Was this what it was like to have a family? He couldn't say he didn't like it….

A hand was placed upon his shoulder and the voice of his oldest brother sounded again. "You don't have to say anything Don, I'm, just here if you need me."

Moral support. A rock. A shoulder to cry on. _As much as I appreciate that Leo, where were you the first time I was forced to reveal my darkest secret? A minute earlier and I wouldn't have had to tell that insanely suspicious hothead_ _what Stockman did to me_. GP thought bitterly and then internally rebuked himself. He shouldn't blame Leo. The guy had been trying to connect to him for the longest time. It was actually that awful day that he finally felt a bond to him. The moment he'd gripped his hand a memory snapped through his mind, he recalled his fingers slipping away from his as chichi pelted through the sewers at top speed. The words he'd said, the apologies he gave, the memory he recalled seemed to touch something deep down inside GP. When Leo's fingers started to release him the grip he gave back was instinctive. This was a big brother that would do absolutely _anything_ for him regardless of his past.

Why was it then that Raphael simply refused to make the effort? GP remembered him, so vividly, those green eyes that stared straight into his as he was carried away. He'd been beating chichi's shoulder, whilst Mikey cried and pointed and Leo desperately attempted to dig in heels to try to drag the giant rat to a stop. How could you forget something like that?

The guy never seemed interested in talking to him or listening for that matter and that was the killer. Did anything _actually_ sink into that brain of his? Because the days following 'that incident' Raphael never came back to question him about it. No, barely gave him a second look up until a few minutes ago and that was for him to play out that distrustful jerk again.

"Leo!" The patter of feet capered in and GP groaned inside. "I called April, said she'd be right over bro."

"Good job Mikey."

GP let a hand slip and wrapped it about hi torso whilst the other rubbed his brow in frustration. He slumped back in his chair, his right foot slipped forward and nudging the old sports bag he taken to keeping hidden under his desk. His chest clenched. He knew nobody had noticed it yet. It had been there for months. Just in case.

Mikey was talking to him now but he never heard a word as his mind stayed solidly focussed on one thing, why Raphael refused to listen to him, understand him. It was like shouting at a brick wall. Pointless. He so desperately wanted this nonsense to stop. Raphael was the burr in his skin that refused to be pulled out constantly causing him aggravation and pain.

The upset at what he had said started to slip back as the real reason swirled unrelentingly in his mind. He wanted rid of this thorn once and for all and there was only two options left open to him.

GP wasn't sure how much time had passed but he heard the hum of an argument beyond his lab door. April's voice was immediately recognisable and as much as he appreciated the help she was obviously trying to give him, this fight was his alone.

The more he thought and brooded the deeper the frown upon his face became. He wanted an answer to that burning question, that continued to scald him like a cracked beaker of boiling acid. It ate away and ate away and before he knew it the tears were back flowing without effort. His heart pounding, every nerve on edge GP abruptly jolted out of the chair and lurched across the lab giving Leo and Mikey a frightful start at his suddenness. The door was yanked open and he fearlessly stalked over to Raphael and gave him the strongest shove to his plastron that he could. It was now or never.

*MNID*

"Hey! Take it easy!" Raph barked as he stumbled back several steps from Donatello's shove.

"Why? Why won't you give me a chance?!"

Raph blinked in confusion. "What the hell are you talkin' about?"

Donatello pounded a fist against his plastron and Raph steadied his stance at the surprising force the hit was delivered with. "You've _never_ listened to me! You've never even given me a chance! What is wrong with you?!"

"D! Stop! Please!" Raph caught sight of April's concerned form just behind the upset mutant. Leo had a hand on her shoulder, obviously holding her back. Why wasn't Leo stopping this?

The fists continued to thump against him but as each one was delivered the power behind them weakened with each proceeding blow. Raph didn't understand why he hadn't stopped the geek yet either. A niggling tick at the back of his mind kept telling him that he had this coming but he shook the thought and as the next blow fell the youth caught Donatello's wrists. The boy yanked back but his physical strength didn't compare to Raphael's. He writhed and struggled ferociously but to no avail, he couldn't free himself from his big brother's restraint.

"I remembered you! _I remember!_ Leo remembered me! Mikey did! Do you? Do you?"

Raph's brow creased. "What the hell kinda question is that?" the red ninja snapped. "How old were we when you got yourself lost? Two? Of course I don't remember you!" it was the truth.

For a fraction of a second the struggling stopped and a bizarre expression of hurt disbelief filled the kid's suddenly welling eyes. Raph's hold loosened slightly and that's when it happened. Donatello pulled back ready to hammer down another rain of blows when April finally evaded Leo's grip and ran to intercede. Before he knew what had happened an olive green arm flew back and knocked the redhead flying into the pit

"April!" Mikey's voice echoed about the lair and something in Raphael snapped. Enough was enough.

He snatched the flailing mutant and pulled him roughly about hitching him tightly into armlock that slipped about the youth's throat. "I knew from the start you had a freaking screw loose!" he shouted unable to stop.

"Let me go!" Donatello writhed.

"Not a frickin' chance ya lunatic! Look what you've done!" he growled. "I promised myself that if you ever hurt April again I'd make you pay for it!"

And just like that Donatello stopped fighting. He saw April rubbing the side of her head, Mikey crouched next to her. The kid whimpered in remorse but the fury in Raph clouded any other rational thought and he was hardly moved by the purple ninja's visible guilt.

"I was startin' to feel sorry for you but then you fly off the handle and do something like this!"

"Raph! Calm down, let him go," Leo attempted to placate him.

"Back off hero boy!" Raphael heard himself barking. "I knew it from the start, _never_ trust a ticking time bomb!"

"WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?!" The voice that boomed across the lair brought everyone to a stand still. "Raphael! Release your brother now!"

The green eyed turtle took a belligerent breath in and finally let Donatello go. He sank to the floor gasping for breath. Splinter was immediately at the boy's side but panting on all fours the young mutant stood before their sensei could offer any help.

His face a tear streaked mess, he rounded on Raph. " _That's it!_ I cannot live under the same roof with someone who will _never_ trust me!" with that he spun on his heel and fled whilst the others called out their protests. Mikey unsurprisingly hared after him.

Raphael stood for a moment feeling oddly stung by the younger turtle's words.

"Raph! What were you thinking?!" April suddenly yelled at him.

"He knocked you into the pit April!" Raph tried to throw up a stubborn front but somehow knew any excuse would only fail. He could almost feel the ground he was standing on crumbling away beneath his feet. He was fighting a losing battle and he was going to feel the brunt of that backlash soon enough.

"It was an accident and you know it Raphael!" April retaliated, a finger literally wagging in his face. "You just seem to be going out of your way to be a complete jackass to Donatello!"

Raph blinked in shock at April's choice of words and wasn't surprised when Master Splinter raised a claw.

"April please, let us not lose ourselves and at the very least remain 'civil' to each other."

Raph could see April visibly biting her tongue as she folded her arms across her chest.

"I am uncertain as what precisely sparked this all off," amber eyes slid directly in Raphael's direction and the red ninja immediately dropped his gaze to his feet. "But I want what they call a 'very fine' explanation for this."

As Raphael struggled to find the right words to say Mikey suddenly pelted back skidding to stop his face a mask of utter panic.

"Dudes! He's gone! D's gone!"

"What do you mean he's gone Mikey?" Leo's voice sounded, unsuccessful in keeping the worry tainting his words.

"He's split bro! He wasn't in the lab he must've ran out the garage door!" The panic was starting to turn his baby brother's eyes glassy and Raph felt a horrible clenching deep in his breast.

Splinter laid a calm hand on Michelangelo's shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze, "let us not overreact my son. Donatello may still be in the lair. Let us have a thorough search before jumping to conclusions."

"But he said-!"

"Yes I know what he said Michelangelo," Splinter said soothingly. "But let's not lose our heads just yet."

As the family split to search, Raph remained where he stood, instinctively knowing that it was pointless. He knew it and he was pretty sure that Master Splinter knew it too, Donatello was no longer in the lair. The gangly geek was gone. It's what he'd wanted all along right? Why was it then that he had this awful bubbling ache in the pit of his stomach? He clenched and unclenched his large fists repeatedly until the others finally returned and Mikey's initial panic was at last fully justified.

"We have to find him sensei!" Mikey pleaded to their father, boldly grasping his robed arm as he almost begged. "We can't lose him again!" his tone was becoming so plaintive that Raph swore the hyperactive little ninja would burst into tears.

"Yes, I know my son I know," crap. Even Splinter sounded worried.

"We have to split up and search the sewers immediately surrounding the lair," Leo stepped up, looking directly at their father for his approval. The rat nodded in silent agreement, a hand resting atop Mikey's head.

"Michelangelo and I will check to the north, come along my son," Splinter announced ushering the youngest alongside him who made no protest.

"April can you check the southern sewers?"

"You don't have to tell me twice Leo," April said before haring away.

"Raph check the sewers beyond the train tracks."

Raph immediately shook his head, being in almost a half daze when the others had left. "What?! Why?"

Leo was suddenly face to face him, his expression firm and unrelenting. "Because _your_ the reason Donatello ran off!"

"Hey! He's the one that started the fight in the first place!" the hot head snapped back.

"No Raphael, _you_ started this fight, nine months ago," with that Leo stalked off to start his own search.

Grumbling in defiance but knowing that he had no other choice, Raphael turned on his heel and made his way to the turnstiles little knowing that he was going to pay dearly for over half a year of pure bullheaded stubbornness.

*MNID*

 **Hokey doke! Take a breath if you need too, we've _almost_ hit the half way mark. XD Anyway, I just want to thank everyone for reading, fav'ing, following and commenting on this story and especially recently where I seemed to have a sudden influx of readers! Thank you all! It really makes my day knowing that I have written something that you all enjoy, I appreciate it all, I really, really do! And again, don't be afraid to leave a little comment, I enjoy reading them all, long and short they always give me the boost I need to keep at it!**

 ** **So, thank you all again and sit tight Chapter 11 is one I think you have all been waiting for! XD****


	11. Recollection, Separation

**Wow, I can't believe how quickly I got this chapter out! I guess because I knew exactly what was going to happen and where it was heading long before I got to write it! That and I have been wanting to write this chapter for quite a while because now we're slipping into Raphael's main part of this story.**

 **It's not a massive chapter but this one is the length it is because I wanted to keep it short and powerful and to the point. It is the pivotal scene so I hope I have done it justice. Enjoy my dear readers! :D :D :D**

 ***MNID***

Chapter 11 Recollection, Separation

GP didn't know how long he'd been running when he finally staggered to a halt. His chest heaved and his limbs wobbled slightly from fatigue and it was only then that he realised that he had no idea where he actually was. For the second time in his life he was lost and alone in the dark, dank coldness of the sewers. Why did he even think that this was a good idea? He'd grabbed his bag and shot straight out of the garage door before Mikey could catch up with him. How he'd managed that he didn't know.

A guilty pressure weighed upon his shoulders. After all the progress he had made he'd turned around and simply given up because of one individual. It was ridiculous. What was he doing? They all had to be so bitterly disappointed in him. GP sniffed, rubbing the back of his gloved hand across his snout as glanced all around him.

Mikey had shown him around the sewers immediately surrounding the lair (with chichi's permission of course) quite a few months ago but nothing around him now was even remotely familiar. GP shivered and sniffed again, starting to feel his mask dampening for what seemed the umpteenth time that day. Why was he such an emotional wreck? He never thought one person could cry as much as he had done in the past nine months. It was embarrassing and despite all his efforts everyone had seen him do it. He'd never been comfortable showing his emotions in front of anyone. Stockman had despised it and had inadvertently taught him to conceal his pain, hold it in until he was completely alone. He hated how weak and vulnerable it made him feel, he'd never felt at ease doing it. Crying was meant to be a release, making you feel at least a bit better afterwards, (he'd read somewhere). GP never had.

He scrubbed viciously at his eyes, sore and raw as they already were and tried to blink his blurring vision clear. A horrible sense of deja vu descended upon him and his body quivered. He felt like that lost toddler crying in the dark. He didn't want to be here, alone, in the shadows and the wet. GP's chest shuddered as a sob escaped and clenching his jaw he threw his arms over his head as his knees gave way and splashed in the numbing water letting out a wretched moan of frustration and self loathing.

Why did he have to do the most stupidest thing he could and run away? Running away never solved anything so what the hell was he doing? He really was an idiot.

There was suddenly a splash in the waters ahead of him and GP froze, tensing every muscle as he peered into the darkness ahead. Had he got turned about? Had one of his family found him?

"Hello?" his voice sounded so small in the vastness of the sewers.

More splashing sounded and an awful metallic cry echoed down the tunnel towards him. GP jolted out of the water instinctively hefting his bo staff as the owner of that dreadful howl came into view. A fearful gasp escaped the youth's throat and he staggered backwards as not one, not two, not even three enemies came converging on him but twelve. A horrid red glow spread across the walls and for a horrifying moment GP stiffened as he came face to face with the twisted versions of his own creation.

*MNID*

Raph grumbled as he sloshed through the cold sewer water. As much as he didn't want to, he knew not complying would be incredibly unwise (given the current circumstances). He was far from being in anybody's good books right now and to go back and admit he'd shirked the job Leo had given him would hardly earn him any merit points. Despite how he felt about the whole situation, he was smart enough to know that he had pushed it as far as he possibly could.

Raphael suddenly stubbed his toe on something in the water and swore under his breath. Why did the gangly nerd have to go and get himself lost in the sewers? Why couldn't have just locked himself in his room or something? He'd better not be the one to find him because of all the trouble that brainiac had caused him, he'd drag him home kicking and screaming. Hell, he'd throw the geek over his shoulder if he had to.

Forty-five minutes into his search, Raph turned another corner when he heard it. All his senses snapped onto high alert and he pulled his sais. He knew the sounds of combat when he heard it, even at a distance. It took five agonising minutes to close the gap. The noises got louder and more distinct and as he reached a curve in the tunnel he skidded to a stop. It was those freaking Chompers, MOUSERS or ECHOERS or whatever the hell they were called. They were squealing and converging on someone just out of sight. He didn't know why but this caused his heart to start hammering in his breast.

"Keep away from me!" a familiar voice shrieked. " _Just keep away!"_

Something in that desperate tone chilled Raph's very blood. He pelted down the tunnel only to be met head on by a group of gnashing MOUSERS. Blocking his path they dived at him, several for his feet whilst the others launched for his chest.

"Get the hell off me!" he bellowed as metal claws scraped at his already scarred pastron. He swept an arm down plunging down a sai for good measure and skewering one of the nasty metal creations straight through its shining skull.

One snapped at his arm and with his sheer weight slammed the robot into the wall with his shoulder. There was a horrid squeal and the crumpled MOUSER fell to the floor only to be replaced by two more. One he kicked into the opposite wall whilst the next met its doom by the points of Raph's sais.

When no more of the little beasts sprang back up Raphael lurched down the tunnel and was met by a sight that coiled an iron spring about his chest. Donatello was being assailed by the MOUSERS on all sides. He ploughed his naginata through the glinting silver bodies, bloody gashes marred his arms as the robots showed the lone turtle mutant no mercy. The jeans he wore looked ragged and bloodied and even fresh the scratch across his cheek told Raph that Donatello had put up one hell of fight so far to keep so many of the metal monsters at bay for so long.

Then the unthinkable happened the kid lost his footing and splashed into the murky water. Raph caught his breath temporarily fixed to the spot as the MOUSERS threw themselves onto the mutant turtle's cracked shell. Somehow he pushed his arms underneath him enough to get clearance and finally caught sight of Raph himself. Those chestnut red eyes seemed to burn straight into his very soul and in that second a vision snapped into the crimson ninja's mind. He saw a small turtle tot staring back him earnestly, reaching out as he beat his father's shoulder to stop. Those bright eyes and fear filled expression grew smaller until he fell out of sight in the distance. "Donnie," he breathed, shaking his head as he finally came back to his senses.

What the hell was that? Did-did that actually happen? Holy crap. He remembered. He remembered Donatello!

"Raphael!"

The desperate cry slammed Raph back to the here and now and he lunged forward letting out a guttural roar as he brought a hammering blow down on the nearest MOUSERS. Two were thrown into the closest wall, one met its end on the point of his left hand sai, the right took out two more, crushing them into the sewer floor. Clearing as many as he could he grabbed the kid's elbow and hauled him to his feet.

"C'mon we need to get out of here!"

Needing no further encouragement Donatello staggered after him.

That's when it happened. The whole tunnel seemed to shake and the wall to the left of them started to crumble. Before Raph knew what what was going on a stray MOUSER leapt at his head. He dodged back but not quick enough to avoid getting a gash across his right cheek.

"Sonofa-!" he cursed just as something splashed behind him and grabbed his nearest ankle.

He whirled round expecting another of the metal beasts clamping onto his leg but no, it was Donatello who released a yelp and an alarmed cry as more of the damn robots surged about him from the hole in the wall. It was only then that he realised what the little bastards were up to. They were dragging the kid away, down their self made tunnel.

"Get off of him!" Raph all but roared, attempting to dive forward and make grab. "Ya ain't takin' him anywhere!" but just like ants converging on a sweet treat the MOUSERS didn't relent.

Half a dozen broke off to detain Raph, stopping him grabbing Donatello's arm by a fraction of inch. He shouted in frustration as the purple banded turtle writhed about to free him from the metallic mass of robotic bodies. He slammed his sais, kicked and punched until his knuckles were hopelessly bloodied and bruised but the lanky teen was quickly being hauled away, protests and curses pouring from his mouth as he reached out to grabbed anything to slow his inevitable fate.

Raph snatched at Donatello's bo that had been lost in the waters and swung it towards him to give the desperate turtle something to hold on too. His adrenalin increased tenfold as a pair of gloved hands managed to snatch the end. Raphael dug in his heels, ignoring the robots that snatched at every part of him, trying to force him to let go, the pain receptors popping mercilessly in his brain.

Then he slipped.

The MOUSERS got the upper claw and took the advantage and one almighty tug had both turtles pulled into the brick burrow. Raph's feet caught the remaining edges of the tunnel wall and leant back gritting his teeth as he playing a grotesque game of tug of war.

"Don't let go Donnie, don't let go!" he found himself saying.

The look Donatello gave him, despite the situation was one of utter shock and surprise. "I won't!" he hollered back and somehow Raph instinctively knew that he wouldn't.

Raphael didn't know how long the sick game lasted as his muscles started to burn with fatigue, in the end it wasn't either mutant who broke the chain but the chain itself. The bo staff creaked and an ominous dull crack filled the turtles' ears. Bright green met chestnut red and a look of sheer horror passed between the pair. Half second later the bo snapped.

"NO!" Both their voices rang together in perfect unison and Donatello was swiftly dragged down.

"RAPHAEL!"

"DONNIE!" Raph dived down the gaping hole, but even as his feet touched the brickwork the bricks gave way. "Aaah!" He threw himself back just in time.

By now the straggling MOUSERS that had a hold of Raph let go and skittered across the tunnel jumping the void and joining the rest of the fleeing hoard. A desperate hand reached out for him and although he lunged forwards he knew there was absolutely nothing he could do. The makeshift tunnel wouldn't support his bulk. He watched helplessly as Donatello was pulled out of sight and the need burst up his throat more strongly than it had ever done before. " _DONNIE!"_

Those flashing auberne eyes that sparked that long lost memory disappeared from sight and the crushing pain that descended upon his chest was unlike anything he'd ever experienced before. He couldn't save him. The young teen felt a wave of sickness crash over him as the sudden realisation slapped him viciously across the face.

It all made sense now, why did he keep sweeping it under the rug? The fear in Donnie's expression was undeniable. Nobody who looked that fearful would ever be loyal to the person trying to claw them back.

Raphael sank to his knees, clutching the shattered bo staff to his plastron as he stared into the dark space Donnie just occupied. His departing screams repeating in his head. Raph felt like he'd just been kicked in the stomach with an iron army boot. This was all his fault.

Because of him Donnie was being dragged right back into the clutches of the man they had freed him from. Because of him, Hamato Raphael, Baxter Stockman had reclaimed his precious 'Guinea Pig'. What the hell was he going to do?

*MNID*

 **NOTES:**

 **I just want to thank everyone again for your comments and favs and follows! You guys are the best and as always don't be afraid to leave a comment, as I've said before I love reading them both long and short because they really do make my day! Sit tight my friends because I have a surprise popping up in chapter 12! Thanks again my fabulous readers! :D :D :D**


	12. Guilt

**Okay, finally found the time to get this chapter re-read and uploaded. Hope you enjoy it. (I loved writing the final scene of this little chapter!)**

 **Onwards my dear readers! :D**

 ***MNID***

Chapter 12 Guilt

Raphael wasn't sure how long he crouched there, Donnie's broken bo pressed against his chest as if it was the turtle himself. He was at a complete loss frozen in the indecision, going forward and risking the instability of the MOUSER tunnel or going back to the lair. He knew he couldn't traverse that stupid tunnel without it crumbling down all around him but he didn't want to return to the lair either, not without Donnie. What was he going to say? _Yeah, well, I found Donatello, remembered him, realised I've been wrong all along and then I lost him_. Yes, that would go down like a ton of bricks. Raph involuntarily shivered. Bad choice of words.

The silence now seemed to echo all around him, the monotonous drip, drip, dripping of the filthy water pounding against his sanity like a sledgehammer. He stared down the damned tunnel and screwed his eyes shut. Why was he such a stubborn, suspicious irrepressible jackass? April had been right. He had gone out of his way to make poor Donnie's life an utter misery. Ironic to think that it took a life threatening situation to jolt his repressed childhood memory of Donatello. A second's clarity that brought everything tumbling into place and as if to punish him the lost brother he refused to accept was snatched away from him. Gone. An unwanted lump ballooned in his throat.

Raphael leapt to his feet spinning on a dime to launch himself at the opposite wall. He slammed his already battered and beaten fists against the cold stone releasing an animalistic howl of guilt and frustration. The pain he inflicted did little to quell that raging fire that continued to mercilessly scold him from deep within.

He finally slid to the ground as the fight eventually ebbed out of him. He glanced at his hands, any green skin couldn't be seen for blood but Raphael didn't really care. Wounds healed. Scars would form and you just got on with it. Scarlet drops trickled over his abused knuckles, dripping into the dirty water, blossoming bloody flowers that then dissipated into nothing.

He sighed watching the blood continue to seep from his wounds and slide away into nothing in the puddles. That's when he caught sight of it. A bag. An old sports bag by the looks of it. Was that Donnie's? He never recalled the kid holding a bag but then, everything had happened so fast.

Raph grunted slightly in effort to stand and reached down to pick the item up. The shoulder strap was snapped, no doubt severed by those metal monstrosities in the fray. Not thinking twice about it, the teen unzipped the bag and his eye ridges raised. He was no expert but what the bag contained looked like everything a person might need to survive on their own, for a little while at least. Torch, matches, a blanket, a pocket knife, even a few tins of food and a can opener amongst other things. No way Donnie had the time to pack this before bolting out of the lair. It must have been prepared in advance, quite a bit in advance looking at the items in there. The teen felt a rush of cold drench him, then he frowned as he spotted a scrap of paper. Pulling it free he unfolded it and saw impossibly neat handwriting in the form of a letter.

 _Dear All,_

 _I have tried my best but I can no longer remain here. It is too much. I need space to breathe and I cannot find it here. I am sorry. There are times that I feel so unwelcome and unwanted. So many arguments happen because of me and I no longer want to be the cause of so much grief. I think it is better for everyone that I leave, removing the one variable that sparks all this conflict. Me._

 _I apologise to you all. This was the last thing I wanted to do. Thank you for everything that you have done for me. I will never forget you._

 _Farewell,_

 _GP_

Raphael's stomach literally dropped. When did Donnie write this? He scoped the letter's header and spotted a date. He swallowed awkwardly. Six months ago. Donatello had written a goodbye note for all of them six freaking months ago. How desperate had the guy actually been to write this?! He'd held off though, maybe hoping something would change? Well something did change, Raph became even more of an ass. He remembered when Donnie actually plucked up the nerve to sass him back. Maybe that had gave him a little more confidence and put his plans on hold. Until Raph pushed him to his breaking point just a few hours ago.

Raphael ground a bloody fist into his face, gritting his teeth. He was without a doubt the worst brother in the whole entire freaking world….

*MNID*

When Raphael finally reached the turnstiles to the lair, he heard the voices of everyone having an urgent discussion of what their next plan of action should be. He had no idea how long he'd been away but by the sounds of it it had been a while. Splinter could be heard, trying to calm everyone down by saying something along the lines that Raph may have had more luck than them.

The red ninja's breast clenched. He really didn't want to walk back in there. He came back because he honestly didn't know what else to do. The turnstile he pushed through clicked betraying his presence and he winced. He hadn't the energy to vault them like he normally did.

"Raph!"

Mikey voice rang out hopefully across the lair and the teen felt even more wretched than before.

"About time you showed up," Leo's half annoyed voice followed. "I was beginning to think that you'd blown your whole search off."

Mikey pelted into view, closely tailed by his oldest brother. "Raph! Did you find D? Tell me you found him!"

The youngster skittered to halt upon sight of him and he met the baby blues of his youngest brother with a honest gaze. "Yeah Mikey I had found him."

His eyes flicked quickly up to Leo's and the annoyed expression that he wore instantly disintegrated. "Raph what happened?"

The burly mutant flexed his bloodied fist about the handles of the Donnie's sport's bag and snapped bo staff and looked to the side betraying more than he ever intended to show.

"Raph?"

By this point everyone else had joined them and the pressure weighted even more upon his shoulders.

"What happened to D Raph? Where is he?" Mikey's plaintive voice bleated out.

"The MOUSERS took him," he answered without looking up. He couldn't.

An echo of disbelief rippled across the gathering and Splinter finally approached. "My son, come."

A gentle hand was rested on his shoulder and encouraged him to move. His limbs felt weighted with lead as he was guided to the pit and sat down without argument. He was too tired to put up a fight. Too drained on every level to refuse the help offered to him. He stared into the middle distance not really registering the goings on around him. There were too many questions, more than he cared to answer because his thoughts were focussed on just one person. Donatello.

"What's wrong with Raph sensei?"

"I believe he maybe in shock Michelangelo."

"What do we do now? Why would the Chompers take D?"

"Mikey, we saw the answer to that question just a few hours ago."

"We did?"

An exasperated sigh sounded.

"Mikey! Who was on the TV before Don ran out?"

There was a short puzzled silence.

"Space Heroes? But that's a cartoon Leo, you really need to get your facts straight bro. A cartoon didn't tell the Chompers to take D."

"Oh for the love of- Stockman Mikey! We saw Baxter Stockman, he built the MOUSERS. That's who they took Donnie too!"

"So, Stockman has Donatello, which means there's only once place he could be."

"The Stocktronics building."

"But how would we get in there bro? I mean we'd need D to get into that place."

"I'm not sure Mikey but-"

A distinct scrabbling sounded across the lair from the train tracks and it was as if Raph's 'ON' switch had been re-activated. He bolted from the spot to a chorus of panicked cries.

"Raph stop! You're in no condition to-!"

Raphael jumped the turnstiles as the adrenaline surged relentlessly through his veins. A split second later he was on the tracks. Maybe, just maybe Donnie had managed to escape.

He staggered to stop as a ragged shadow lurched towards him and his sais were suddenly in his fists. Two paw like hands, not unlike Splinter's reached for him and his immediate instinct was to dodge back.

The shadow that was a little shorter than his baby brother, at last fumbled into the light. Raph started, somewhat taken aback by the creature he saw and then scowled.

"Who the hell are you?! What do you want?"

The small mutant swayed unsteadily, confusion entering his ruby red eyes as he stared back at Raph. "Y-you're not Father."

"Father? What do you mean, who are you?" he barked.

The mutant swooned and a gut instinct told Raphael that this creature was not a threat. He dropped his weapons and darted forwards catching the obviously exhausted creature before he face planted into the ground.

"Where's father?" he whimpered into Raph's plastron, tears dribbling down his long whiskered snout and grasping at his shoulders as if his very life depended on it.

"Hey, hey take it easy little guy," Raph suddenly uttered, his voice instantly dropping into the same soothing tone he spoke to Spike in. "Who's ya father?"

By this point everyone had gathered on the platform, watching the strange scene in utter bewilderment. The little creature shook his head but didn't reply.

Raph decided to try a simpler question. "What's ya name?" he asked quietly.

The mutant shivered, taking several gulping breaths before he responded. "D-Darwin, my name is Darwin," no sooner had the name passed his throat the former white lab rat's eyes rolled back into his skull and he passed out.

*MNID*

 **Surprise! I guess a lot of you were wondering what happened to this little guy! XD No worries he'll tell his story soon :D**

 **And thanks again to all of you who have commented, fav'd and/or followed this story, I really do appreciate it! Don't forget to comment, just a few words really make a difference and let me know I'm doing okay! Thank you all again :D :D :D**


	13. Living Nightmare

**Okay guys, up for a flashback? Coolio dude! Read on :)**

 **(Another angsty chapter warning!) XD**

 **~MNID~**

Chapter 13 Living Nightmare

The moment his bo staff snapped GP had never been more afraid in his entire life. As Raphael's desperate face disappeared from sight his last hope vanished with him. He wasn't really sure what had happened but Raphael's attitude had seemingly changed in the blink of an eye. He called him by the nickname that Mikey had originally adopted for him. Raphael had never ever called him that. It was either geek, nerd, poindexter, genius the list went on but in that moment when he tore through those Mousers to get him GP knew something had shifted in the hothead's mind. He felt it and daresay he actually trusted him, he had honestly felt more than anything that Raphael would do everything in his power to save him. That was incredible but just like that, it was suddenly torn away from him the moment his beloved weapon snapped.

He heard the red ninja bellow down the chasm he'd disappeared down, the passion, fear, loyalty that filled his tone seemed to reverberate through to the very core of his soul. That was the older brother he remembered. He choked back a sob as the Mousers dragged him ever deeper into what seemed to be the very depths of hell itself. He had no energy left to fight them. The tunnel then took a sharp drop and GP's skull bounced off the brick work. Blackness clouded his vision and his senses left him.

*MNID*

" _GP! Have you got those circuit boards installed yet?"_

" _Just about!" the mutant eleven and half year old squeaked in an pre-adolescent voice that kept deciding if it wanted to break or not._

" _Damn it GP! I needed those boards installed thirty minutes ago! What have you been playing at in that time?"_

 _The gangly preteen winced at his father's annoyed tone. It wasn't his fault that the boards his father had given him were improperly soldered. He'd spent those thirty minutes making sure nothing would come loose. "I-I was just checking the circuit boards' connections father!"_

" _What do you mean you were checking the connections?"_

 _His father's shadow loomed over him as he stood wiring in the first circuit board. GP flinched and rolled his bright eyes up at his guardian. "I-I knocked some of the wires loose and had to solder them back into place father," he answered timidly._

" _You clumsy little oaf," his father shook his head. "Make sure those boards are wired up precisely GP, I cannot afford another short circuit!"_

 _GP put his head down obediently. "Yes father, I'll make sure," he uttered._

" _Good," with that his father stalked off and somewhere in the lab he heard a keyboard begin tapping away._

 _GP released the breath he'd been holding. His father had been increasingly short tempered this week and as a result the many installation tasks he'd been handed to complete had been rushed forcing him to mend the shoddy workmanship in order to continue. He'd guessed his father was under a tight deadline but still the amount of errors was alarming. When he'd pointed it out for the first time he was sent to his room and had his rations for that evening suspended. Stockman hated being wrong and pointing out his mistakes was one sure way to land yourself in a lot of trouble._

 _GP shook his head and brought his magnifying goggles back over his eyes as he resumed soldering the first circuit board in place. It was then that he heard a groaning squeal. GP stopped and frowned curiously, lifting his goggles. What_ _was_ _that? Before he knew what had happened a nearby panel ripped clear of its welded edges and came slashing down quicker than the child could react._

 _GP yelped in pain, dropping his soldering pen and looked down at his leg that felt as if it were on fire. There was a sharp intake of breath and a pained lump instantly invaded his throat as tears sprang to his eyes. "Oh, oh no, no, no no!" he whimpered audible enough for his father to hear him from across the lab._

" _What's wrong now GP?! I'm trying to concentrate on the mechanics of this programme and I can't do it if your talking to yourself."_

 _GP squeezed back the moisture from his eyes and bit his bottom lip. "Fa-father, I-I need to be excused," he managed to call back._

" _No! Why do you need to be excused? I'm on a tight deadline GP!"_

" _I-I know father, I-I am sorry but I've sort have um, cut myself and I'm bleedin-"_

 _That was all he needed to say. "Then get to your room and sort yourself out GP! Don't you start bleeding all over my hard work!"_

" _Th-thank you father!" GP bleated and limped as fast as he could to his room. He activated the panel and hobbled inside leaving a trail of blood behind him. He was in so much trouble when his father discovered that mess._

 _GP's heart fluttered in his breast as he lunged across his workbench for the first aid kit. He then staggered across to the sink in the corner and started the tap and held a clean washcloth under the cool running water and wrung out the excess before looking back at his left leg. He blanched at the sight. There was so much blood. He bit his bottom lip again, this was by far the worst injury he'd ever sustained in Stockman's lab. The boy braced himself and began rubbing the cloth across his skin._

 _A hiss of pain escaped as GP endeavoured to mop up his bloody leg. The awful metal panel had torn straight through his jeans from the front below the left knee to the side right down to his ankle, ripping his skin in the process. To say that it was painful was an understatement. It was going to need stitches and the youngster wasn't sure if he had enough suture thread to manage the wound._

 _Despite cleansing the gash it continued to bleed and took all of GP's will power not to panic. He just had to disinfect the wound, get the sutures in and bandage it and hope he didn't pass out from the blood loss in the process._

 _The mechanics of how he was actually going to stitch up his leg didn't kick in until he actually sat down with needle in hand. GP frowned, well yeah, this was a dilemma he'd never thought to consider, being too tall to actually treat himself. The blood continued to trickle down his olive skin, a small puddle beginning to form on the floor. His heart began to beat that little bit faster and he bit his bottom lip. Calm down, you can figure this out. Okay, he needed to elevate the limb for a start and a towel, a towel to catch the blood whilst he worked. Yes, that would work._

 _GP quickly set up a clean folded towel on his work bench, rolled up his office chair and wincing eased his leg up onto the surface, adjusting the chair's height to get the perfect alignment. He dabbed a wet cloth against the start of his wound and braced himself. It had been a while since he'd had to do sutures and he still didn't like doing it. On the periphery of his vision he could see Herschel peering out of her glass tank at him, white whiskers twitching as if she was wondering what on earth her friend was doing._

 _GP took a breath, let it out slow and briefly shut his eyes as he centred himself. 'C'mon, you can do this, okay?' The boy took up the needle and pinching the skin slipped it through, hissing at the stinging sensation as he completed his first suture. One down, goodness knew how many to go. GP took another deep breath and slid the needle through, features creasing with discomfort. 'Keep going GP, keep going. You can do this.'_

 _*MNID*_

 _Two hours and fifteen minutes later GP was almost done and twenty-five neat sutures curved about the gash in his leg. He probably needed, what? Four more? GP paused, his breath had been trembling out since the fourteenth stitch. His eyes were moist and he continually was blinking back tears that threatened to fall. His leg throbbed and having no access to any pain blockers GP just had bite his tongue and focus on the task at hand._

 _Taking another summoning breath GP was half way through completing his twenty-sixth suture when the door to his room slid open and Stockman was stood menacingly in the doorframe._

" _GP! When you said you'd cut yourself I didn't realise that you would bleed all over my laboratory! What exactly did you-?"_

 _GP stopped mid stitch, peering apprehensively up at his guardian and swallowed awkwardly. A combination of horror and disgust filled the gangly scientist's features at the same time and the youngster stiffened. "One of-of the metal panels pulled loose," he uttered timidly._

" _Well how in the world did that happen?!"_

 _GP shivered. "I-I don't know how it happened," he answered honestly. "I h-heard a squeal and the metal sheeting just ripped away and caught my leg."_

 _Stockman shook his head. "You'd do well to make sure those panels are well welded next time."_

" _I-I didn't weld that part of the machine father, yo-," Stockman's face was suddenly veiled with the darkest storm cloud and GP saw fit to bite his tongue. "Y-yes father, I'll make sure next time. G-good secure welds."_

 _His father gave him an imperious look. "When you've finished sorting yourself out I want you to clean up that mess that you made dripping blood across my floor and over my invention."_

 _GP's face dropped. "B-but I can't do anything that strenuous just after finishing the sutures father!" he exclaimed despite the dirty look Stockman gave him. "The stitches could burst open!"_

" _Then you'll have to be careful won't you?" his father sneered. "You have fifteen minutes to finish up you leg, the door will shut automatically after you leave to clean the lab. I don't want to see_ _any_ _trace of blood when I come in tomorrow morning. Is that completely understood GP?"_

 _GP nodded meekly. "Yes father, I understand."_

" _You better have Guinea Pig," Stockman turned and obviously remembering something else turned back. "And fix that broken panel too."_

 _The boy nipped his bottom lip but didn't dare make any protest. Mutely he nodded his head._

" _Good," with that Stockman strode out._

 _GP shut his eyes and shuddered a breath. He could do this. He could._

 _*MNID*_

 _GP collected the bucket and mop from beside his sink, filling the bucket with warm water and soap and grimaced at the twinges that travelled up and down his now bandaged leg. He still wore his ripped jeans, seeing no point in putting on his secondary pair if they were just going to get soiled cleaning the floor._

 _As promised the door slid shut behind him and sighing GP limped across the way and found the first brownish red stain just outside his room. Dipping the mop he started cleaning and tried to ignore the discomfort that rippled through his lacerated leg. He could do this. He could do this…_

 _*MNID*_

 _It took roughly an hour to clean the floor back to where the accident had happened. GP shuddered as he recalled and saw the warped piece of metal that laid on the floor. It was beyond redemption which meant he was going to have to measure out and cut a brand new piece to replace it. The boy's heart sank. He felt a soft lump push up his throat but he swallowed it down. Now wasn't the time for that. He had to get this done. He could do this. He_ _could_ _do this!_

 _*MNID*_

 _Three hours later GP was welding the new panel into place. A welder's mask that was a couple sizes (maybe more); too big, wobbled slightly on his head. Although unheard through the sound of the spitting sparks, GP released a whimper of pain as he was forced to crouch to finish fixing the panel._

 _Finally the youngster lowered the apparatus that he was using and lifted the mask, scrutinising his work. He nodded. It was good. It would hold and it would hold well. He stood and released a faint cry. He looked down and blinked furiously, to rid himself of the unwanted tears. Some of his sutures had burst. Blossoms of red stained the bandage and GP bit down hard on his bottom lip. Holding it in he cleared away the equipment and tidied up the general area ready for the next day._

 _Once he was satisfied GP drew in a steadying breath and limped back to his room. He activated the security scanner pressing his hand against the panel. A beep followed and he held still for the camera above the door. The door slid open and GP hobbled inside. It shut immediately behind him, locking automatically. It wouldn't open again until his father activated it the following morning. And this moment in time, that was fine by him. He'd had enough of that lab today._

 _Briefly sitting GP winced as he unwound the bandages from his leg, hissing out his discomfort when the soft fabric caught in the sticky blood and broken surgical thread. Not missing a beat he cleaned the open wounds, propping his leg back on the workbench and stitched up the ruptured sutures. He found clean bandages and wrapped the wound back up._

 _Finished at last he breathed out long and low and glanced across at the food hatch. It was empty. He made face. Figures. Scowling he pulled himself out of his chair and leant over to lift the lid on his ratty's tank. He wasn't hungry anyway._

 _Herschel leapt from her enclosure and bolted immediately up to GP's shoulder where she nestled herself against his neck, whiskers tickling the underside of his chin. The boy cupped a hand over her, pressing his cheek lightly over her back. "Yeah, I missed you too girl," he whispered. "It's been a long day, hasn't it?"_

 _Herschel seemed to nestle herself closer to his neck and GP managed a small smile. He limped over to his cot bed and sank slowly onto it, letting his bad leg slip out in front of him as he did so. He softly stroked Herschel as he stared at an empty space on the floor, letting his rough fingertips ruffle through her snowy fur. This was the only comfort he received after a really long hard day. The ratty equivalent of a hug. He didn't know what a real one felt like, as far as he could remember. He could really use one right about now. Stockman wasn't the hugging kind of person._

 _His hand fell from Herschel and he hugged himself. Was it really too much to ask? A simple hug? His leg hurt. He ached from all that cutting and welding. He had stitched up his own leg for goodness sake! All that blood scared him to death. He was only eleven, eleven and half and all he wanted was someone to say that everything was going to be okay and embrace him. Then maybe he wouldn't feel so alone and isolated. His father did care didn't he? He gave him his first rat Curie four and half years ago, and when she passed away he presented him with Herschel. That had to count for something right?_

 _GP sniffed, feeling his bottom lip begin to wobble. Father put a roof over his head. Kept him safe and secret so nobody would experiment on him like a lab animal. He provided him essential things that he needed like clothes, soap and a fully stocked first aid kit (bar the asprin) and had even given him basic laboratory equipment so he could conduct his own experiments in his room when he was granted free time. So, yes, father had to care. So, why didn't he stitch up GP's arm the very first time he seriously cut himself? Tell him that it was okay and not to be scared?_

 _A sorrowful hiccup jolted his chest and GP gripped the edges of his thin mattress as he tried to push back the wetness lurking behind his eyes._

" _ **Stop snivelling! What are those tears for? Stop bleeding on my floor and go sort yourself out!"**_

 _The memory cut through GP like a knife. The tears flooded his eyes and another hiccup skipped up his chest which proceeded to develop into full blown sobs that he couldn't hold down, couldn't keep back. He pressed gloved fists to his mouth, trying to stem it all but there was no stopping the flood. GP finally gave in and slipped sideways onto his mattress, snatching up his pillow hugging it to his breast for all he was worth and buried his face in the pale fabric creases._

 _He hitched his legs up instinctively to curl up into a ball on his bed. There was a sudden spasm of pain and he half jolted up, "OW! Stupid sutures!" A frown. A whimper. His hand reached out and he flopped back down still hugging the now damp pillow with one hand. The sobs resumed, pulling at his breast until it ached. Time slipped away and the lonely youngster, (not for the first time) cried himself to sleep._

 _Throughout it all Herschel remained upon her friend's shoulder, adjusting her footing each time GP made a sudden move. As the tears and anguish slowly subsided, fatigue finally taking over, the woebegone child lay still, save for the breathy gasps from the aftermath of the vicious sobs. Herschel curled herself up into a ball and nuzzled her soft nose under GP's chin and gave him the only comfort she could, her warmth and companionship._

*MNID*

GP shuddered a sigh and then woke with a start. Where was he? He was laying on something soft but slightly rough, there was a strange weight about his neck and he lifted his hand to feel it. His arms felt heavy too. That was strange. His fingers stroked up against something cold and metallic. GP started and gasped sharply as he sat bolt upright on the squeaky cot bed. There was a metal collar about his neck. His eyes caught sight of his hands and his stomach dropped. Coiled metal with inverted triangular fasteners that glowed pink, flashed about wrists. They looked like the dreaded shocker collar he was forced to wear, only more sophisticated, new and improved? Well, that was in no doubt.

GP then looked up and around him and he shook his head in denial. "No, no," he uttered at the awfully familiar surroundings. " _Oh please god no!_ " he threw both hands over his face and shivered. This was dream. It had to be a very, very bad dream.

"Ah, GP," the young teen froze, peering over his fingers. He didn't want look but he had too.

A shadow spilled across the floor from the doorway and arms opened in a mocking greeting. "Welcome home," the oily smile delivered to him chilled GP's very blood.

This wasn't a very bad dream. No, this, this was a nightmare.

*MNID*


	14. Darwin

**Okay my dear readers first off I want to apologise at how long it took me to get this chapter done. Lots have happened in that space of time and I'll admit now I suffered a bit of a knock to my confidence concerning this story :( I stood back from it hoping to get over my insecurities and my hopeless writer's block which thankfully lifted a couple of weeks ago. It is with much nervousness that I post this chapter. I hope that at the very least it is readable. It's juddery in places, so please forgive that if you can.**

 **I also want to than everyone who has commented, fav'd and followed this fic so far, I appreciate it more than you'll ever know :) I now await your judgement, please be kind. :)**

~MNID~

Raphael frowned. "Darwin?" He looked up at his family in confusion, who quickly jumped down to join him on the tracks.

April was suddenly at his side and she wore the most curious expression. "What is it April?"

The red head shook her head. "Something, something D told me a little while ago."

"What?"

"I mean he didn't go into any detail but he mentioned he had a pet rat, called Darwin."

"C'mon, you ain't tellin' me that this little guy here is Donatello's pet? I mean how?" Raph shut his eyes and shook off the dizziness he suddenly felt. Why did his head suddenly feel so woolly?

"Hey Raph you okay bro?"

Raph shrugged the concerned hand from his shoulder. "Yeah, I'm just peachy Mikey-," He staggered back a step tightening his grip on the small mutant rat so as not to drop him. His vision blurred and his head swam. Okay, maybe he wasn't so 'peachy'. Shake it off. It'll pass.

He turned about. "Let's get this guy to Donnie's lab-," he never finished the sentence. The muzzy haze suddenly descended like a fog and consciousness was whipped away from him like a rug beneath someone's feet. He fell. Someone caught him and Darwin was prised from his grasp before the blackness took over.

*MNID*

When Raph finally woke up he was in his room, with a concerned Mikey hovering at the edge of his bed. He grumbled, his head still feeling decidedly fuzzy as he propped himself up on his elbows.

"Raph! You're awake bro!"

"Yeah, yeah turn the volume down Mikey," he uttered, raising a hand to his brow. "What happened?"

"You passed out dude, Master Splinter reckoned it was a combo of excitement and shock, and just bang! Too much too fast and it took it all outtah you bro," Mikey explained with accompanying hand gestures which just made Raph's head pound that little bit harder.

"Where's the rat, Darwin?"

"Oh, he's in D's lab with the others. Still out cold."

Raphael took a breath and made to sit up swinging his legs over the side of the mattress. "Hey dude! No, Splinter said you need rest otherwise you'd keel over again!" Mikey panicked flinging up his hands to attempt to push him back down.

Raph easily batted them away. "I'll rest when I'm dead Mikey, I need to see that white rat now."

With Mikey protesting the whole way, Raph made his way to the lab that he had once held so much suspicion towards, whilst resisting the urge to push his baby brother out of his path. The doors were open and he slipped inside with Mikey hot on heels and still trying to stop him.

A cot bed had been set up in the far side of the lab not that he could see it as his family were completely blocking it off from view. It was Splinter's ear twitch that let Raph know that his father knew of his presence.

"My son," the commanding voice carried across the room. "I highly recommend that you return to your own bed," the tall rat swept around, a slight frown resting upon his brow.

Despite his expression Raph attempted to plead his case. "I feel fine sensei," the wooliness in his head was still prevalent but he was hardly going to admit to that. He stood firmly as he could but he felt himself sway much to his frustration and shame.

"As much as I admire your strong will Raphael, even for ninjas there is a limit," Splinter said, now standing directly in front of him.

Raphael started, he'd only glanced away for a fraction of a second. How the heck did Sensei move that fast? He was still a little woozy, maybe it was longer than he'd realised. Urgh, he was so out of it! Maybe he really should go and lie back down.

Mkey's hand automatically came out to steady him as he swayed again. He pulled away slightly but not completely, sighing in resignation. "Hai sensei," he grumbled.

Splinter gave a nod of approval.

He and Mikey were only halfway across the lair when a terrified shriek sounded from the lab.

"Where am I?! Who are you?"

There was a gentle murmuring that came from Splinter but the frightened squeal sounded again. Leo and April also seemed to try but to no avail for the next thing the creature cried was-

"Keep away! Where's red? The one that carried the scent of my father! Where is he?!"

Eyes widened as older and younger brother stared at the other.

"Bro, I think that little dude is calling for you."

"Oh, you think Mikey?" Raph snapped sarcastically.

Moments later they were back in the lab whilst the others attempted to placate the frightened little albino mutant.

"Please, try to calm yourself," Splinter was saying.

Raphael had Mikey help him halfway across the lab where he took in the entire scene. Darwin was pressed up at the head of the cot bed, pink ruby eyes wide with confusion and fear as the people about him desperately tried to coax him out of his frantic state. Darting eyes suddenly came to rest upon him and the white rat mutant froze. A split second later he had scrambled to the end of the bed and Splinter set a stern gaze upon his headstrong son.

"Raphael, I believe we were in agreement that you were to return to you room and rest."

"Sensei, Darwin wanted to see me."

The was a sharp sigh through the tall rodent's nose, sounding his disapproval but before he could open his mouth the small mutant suddenly spoke.

"Red!" Darwin blurted out reaching a claw out toward him.

"Raphael," Raph offered.

"Raphael?"

Raph nodded, and got Mikey to help him approach the bed. "Everyone here is here to help you Darwin," he saw the little rat eye his company warily. "We're your 'father's' er, family," that's when all remaining eyes settled upon him. He twitched uncomfortably.

"His family?"

Raph nodded. "We're his brothers," he indicated Leo, Mikey and himself. "Leonardo and Michelangelo," he pointed to his sensei. "Master Splinter is his father and April is his, best friend."

Darwin looked each of them briefly in turn and drew in a breath. "Then, where is my father?" he asked quietly.

"Er," Raph felt his family's gazes intensify upon him. He flexed a fist as his nerves started to rise. "That's um, a kinda of ah, long story but the short of it is Don- er, your father was here but now he's gone."

Raphael ignored the looks the settled upon him and shifted his shoulders agitation.

"Where's he gone?" Darwin asked with ever widening eyes.

Raph stared at the floor, trying to hide the guilt and pain creeping across his face. "He-he er," man this was far too hard. He could still feel Darwin's pleading eyes burning into him and he couldn't bring himself to say it. Much to his surprise Mikey sensed his plight, lightly squeezing his nearest wrist. As dumb as he could be, Michelangelo seemed to be the most emotionally in tune than any of them. He always seemed to instinctively know what to do when it came to these sort of things. Something Raph was ashamed to admit he never gave the kid enough credit for. Expressing ones inner feelings was never his forte.

Then someone came to his rescue much to his relief and surprise.

"What Raphael is trying to say Darwin, is that your father was recaptured by Baxter Stockman and he tried to rescue him."

Darwin's sights fell away from April and stared at his claws now clasped in his lap. "Y-you all freed him from Baxter Stockman?" He glanced across at them all and hung his head again. He lightly bit his bottom lip and shuddered a heartfelt sigh. "I-I had always wondered how he had escaped the lab. I-I mean he got out once and for a moment I thought he wasn't coming back for me but then I realised that father would never do that. He'd cared for me my whole life. But when he did come back his father, Baxter Stockman, treated him horribly. I-I never quite understood what had changed. He kept father locked up in his room that I shared with him in my tank," Darwin shook his head. "It was awful, Baxter Stockman kept waking him up at all hours and demanding that he call him Master. He always refused and kept getting shocked with that- collar," the little rat shivered, a hand instinctively reaching for his throat. Darwin grimaced. "I wanted so badly to scratch that awful man's eyes out but I never got the chance."

Raph's brow creased at the last remark. Poor little guy.

"Then what happened little dude?" Mikey prompted, obviously eager to know more.

"Well, one day father got me out of the tank and then he got sad and said that he didn't want to see me in a cage anymore. He wrenched a small panel off the wall and slipped me inside. He told me 'get out of the building' and 'be free' I was confused but I tried to do what he said. I tripped something, there was flash and pain and then I woke up. Father was gone. Trying to get out of the building 'this' happened to me," he raised his paws scrutinising them and flexing his pale claws as he continued. I somehow managed to find my way into the sewers and for one moment I smelt father over everything else and tried to follow my nose but I lost the trail. I've been scavenging these sewers for I don't know how long, all time trying to find him," he raised his now glistening eyes to Raph and finally uttered. "Then I found you."

 _Of all the people for him to find first, it was me_ , Raph thought sarcastically. _Talk about karma_.

"Do you know where my father was taken?"

"We have a fair idea," Leo answered. "Back in the Stocktronics lab where you both came from."

There was a short silence. "I want to help you rescue him," the little rat said bluntly.

"How could you help?" Leo asked carefully.

"I'll find you a way to get in," he said matter-of-factly.

Mikey frowned. "How?"

"Do you have computer?"

"Donnie built one himself," Raph found himself answering before anyone else.

Darwin nodded. "Good. Then I can hack into the building's security system," he said with a small smile.

~MNID~


	15. Ownership

**Apologies for the short break. My mind's been a bit all over the place for the past few weeks, do forgive me my dear readers.**

 ** **And so, finally Stockman makes his 'official' appearance. Get ready to hate him all over again because he's obviously learnt nothing from the last story...****

~MNID~

Stockman felt a perverse sense of glee at the look he received from his Guinea Pig. His shouted exclamation of horror was just a delightful bonus.

"Did you honestly think that I would never find you again GP? For shame," he taunted, pushing his glasses up the ridge of his nose as he stared the mutant turtle down. "You never figured it out, did you?"

A look of utter bewilderment filled the young teenager's face. "Wha-what do you mean?"

Stockman reached back and tapped the back of his neck. "The MOUSERS had to have something to home in on GP," an oily smile slipped across his mouth.

His Guinea Pig frowned, tracing fingers across the ugly scar that was present on the back of his neck. "B-but that's not possible," the boy uttered, his rich brown eyes searching the floor as he obviously recalled something. "I tried to cut it out, April retrieved it," he glared up at Stockman. "I smashed it with my brother's sai!"

"Oh, is that who they are," the mad scientist mocked. He put on a superior expression and tilted his chin just that little bit higher. "What you 'smashed' was a decoy GP," he announced, taking great pleasure in how the youngster's expression melted into a look of absolute horror and dismay.

"What?" he uttered faintly.

"You destroyed the decoy GP," Stockman said with an air of arrogant pride.

GP's face crumpled and he seemed to shrink in on himself. "No," he whimpered.

"I've known exactly where you were all this time GP," the mad scientist sneered.

In that moment, GP almost looked as if he would physically shatter into a million pieces. Baxter Stockman revelled in that. With only a few simple words he had broken him and it made all that financial loss, blood, sweat and effort over all this time worthwhile. Of course none of that aggravation would have necessary if those blasted turtles hadn't stolen him away in the first place. He shook the thought.

The gangly scientist puffed his chest out a little, attempting to throw around the superiority he suddenly felt. "I just needed to devise something that could infiltrate and extract you."

With that comment the mutant's face crushed into the deepest frown. A far cry from the almost broken look he was wearing only mere seconds before. "You never devised anything!" GP spat. "You hacked my security encoded files and stole my blueprints! I never created the ECHOERS for violence!"

"Oh GP, you small minded fool. You had absolutely no idea of the potential those machines held," he purred down at him with sickening smugness. "I took them and I made them better. I improved them, made them a hundred times better and transformed them into the perfect infiltration and attack unit. Sliced up a couple of your 'brothers' quite nicely, didn't they GP?" he mocked as the turtle growled. "It wasn't that difficult to bypass your security measures," he lied. They had been the hardest files he'd ever tried to hack. He managed it, eventually. It took far too long really, putting him behind schedule, but now it had come to full fruition. His Guinea Pig was now here. "You really should have devised stronger encryptions," he finished with a menacing grin.

"You had no right to sift through my personal encrypted files Stockman!" GP snapped back.

"Oh yes I did GP. Technically, as a person you don't exist. You were created, mutated, I'm guessing accidentally and by that definition you have no rights. No, that's not exactly true," he mused as an intriguing thought entered his mind. He waggled his finger to the side as he spoke his thoughts aloud. "Before 'this' form found you," he pointed at GP. "You were a common pet turtle, a diamondback terrapin to be more accurate, so, if anything, you are my 'pet'. I am your owner. I own you GP. I. Own. You. So whatever is yours, is mine."

GP's features seemed to be a mixture of rage, fear and upset as he balled his fists that shivered with raw impotent fury.

"So that being said, I, your 'owner', your 'Master'," oh how he loved that word! "Need you to work on my next project."

GP raised his watering eyes, the disgust clearly written across his face. "I've said it once and I'll say it again, 'go to hell,'" The mutant was instantly on his feet, eyes now white as he made to lunge at him.

Anticipating this Stockman tapped his watch twice. A powerful jolt of electricity buzzed through GP's collar, lasting only a second at most and GP stopped dead in his tracks, eyes back to their normal colour and looking absolutely terrified.

"That's right my Guinea Pig, I have set up 'precautions' to help teach you your place. That shiny new collar is the Shocker 2.1 now with accompanying shackles, just in case."

GP's fingers drifted tentatively over the collar and rolled his wrists to take in his new accessories. Stockman couldn't stop the grin that pulled across his face at his pet's lost look.

"So, shall we try that again GP?" he smirked. "I need you to work on my new project and there is only one answer that will save you from the Shocker. What have you got to say?"

A pained expression overtook GP's features but then that old familiar determination flooded his burning eyes. He stood to his full height, causing Stockman to raise his brow slightly. The turtle had grown a bit during his temporary taste of freedom.

GP drew what sounded like a steading breath, as if preparing himself then spoke. "Go. To. Hell."

"Have it your way GP," Stockman sneered as he tapped his watch again.

The power was released and GP instantly dropped, writhing uncontrollably onto the floor.

"Enjoy your old room my Guinea Pig, I think you'll find that you are going to spend a lot of time here," he smiled unpleasantly as he strolled out of the room and deactivated the mutant's collar. He heard the turtle slump to the ground and relished the suppressed sobs of pain that heaved GP's ribcage as he closed the door behind him.

~MNID~

 **(If any of you feel the need to seriously deck Stockman right now, feel free. I'm not going to stop you!)**


	16. Infiltration

**Hey guys, again sorry for the wait but after further RL issues and the dreaded Writer's Block (which insisted on constantly tripping me up), I finally finished this chapter. Now, I'll you in on a little secret... This chapter was intended to be A LOT longer but as I read through it I came to a scene and thought, 'you know what? I can split this scene and it will still flow nicely,' because what I planned for the proceeding scene (chapter after next) didn't seem complete enough. There just wasn't enough to it, SO I thought I would use that thing that drives a lot of readers 'mad' XD and end this chapter on a 'cliff hanger'! So, sorry about that but I honestly believe it's going to read a helluva lot better!**

 **Enough of my rambling, let's get going shall we? :D**

 **~MNID~**

Despite the urgency, it was several days before Splinter deemed that everyone was fit and well enough to proceed with the plan to rescue Donnie. It was the last thing he wanted to do, Raphael knew. He had been champing at the bit so hard that he had to be physically restrained by sensei himself. Raph recalled the whole incident as he hovered over Darwin's shoulder with the others as the little rat mutant expertly tapped away.

 _Three days before…._

 _Raph had never known such outrage from being stopped from doing what was absolutely the right thing to do, before. With everyone staring at him as he completely and utterly lost it, Splinter had hauled him out of the lab. It was in the dojo where his father finally stopped and twisted him about and stared straight into his burning eyes._

" _Yame! Raphael stop!" he commanded. "Calm yourself!"_

" _Lemme go!" Raph yelled back, still struggling to get free._

" _RAPHAEL!"_

 _The booming sound that delivered his name shocked the hot head into complete silence. His writhing fell still and he stared back at his sensei wide eyed with shock._

" _This is not helping Donatello in the slightest," Splinter said meaningfully._

 _Raph dropped his gaze, feeling the after effects of his protests catch up with him as his light_ headedness _returned with vengeance. He would have staggered sideways if it wasn't for sensei's firm grip upon his shoulders._

" _I know something has shifted within you my son. The aura was so strong when you returned from your search. I won't ask what happened because it was quite clear that a lost epiphany finally found you."_

 _Raph's head dropped a little lower, his eyes shut and he pressed the back of his hand against his mouth. It took a moment before he found his voice. "I need to find him Master Splinter."_

" _I know," his father said softly._

" _It's my fault! I need to fix this!" a wobble tainted his voice, he ignored it. He looked up at the wizened features of the giant rat earnestly, practically begging his permission. "I need to find Donnie now, I ain't gonna leave him to the mercy of that lunatic any longer than I have too!" he cried and flung out his arm as if to point and overbalanced himself. Glittering stars filled his vision and he gritted his teeth as his head swirled and throbbed._

 _He felt Splinter's grip tighten. "Raphael," his sensei began gently. "Believe me, I want find Donatello as much you do, so much so, that it hurts but rushing out now in your current condition is absolute folly," he sympathised. "You would no doubt get yourself caught in the attempt and Donatello would be no closer to being rescued. Darwin is weak, exhausted and malnourished and he'll need to build up his strength to be able to help you properly. Until then, I believe it would be unwise to jump into any action. I hope you can understand this my son."_

 _A beat of silence passed. "Hai sensei," Raph all but whispered._

 _The quiet pulled out and the longer it lasted the worse Raphael's head became. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head as the catalyst vision spun through his mind again for the umpteenth time. He mumbled something under his breath._

" _What was that my son?"_

" _I remembered him sensei, I remembered Donnie as you carried us away. And there was nothing I could do to save him."_

 _Raph felt his head fall forward, touching the folds of Splinter's kimono. Arms enfolded about him and that was all he remembered because when he woke he was once again in his own bed._

~MNID~

Raph leant over the far side of the white rat, now garbed in one of April's old zip up hoodies to keep out the chill. He typed with a skill that would take a lifetime to learn. He barely glanced at the keyboard.

"Little dude! Where did you learn how to do this?"

"I watched father," Darwin replied to his youngest brother as he continued to type. "I used to perch on his shoulder and watched him. I mean he carried me everywhere that way and I took in everything that he did. I found it fascinating really, how he built things, how he researched problems and conducted experiments. He took me out into the main lab once, I don't think he meant too he was just so used to having me there on his shoulder that he forgot. His father saw me and yes that was not a pleasant experience," Darwin seemed to pause as he shuddered at memory. "Anyway, my absolutely favourite thing was to watch him at the computer, hacking into the building's computer systems. When his father didn't give enough information on a project he would go looking for it on the Stocktronics security locked database that only Stockman had access to."

"Huh, how'd you get so smart Darwin?"

At this question Raph actually tore his eyes away from the screen to the former white lab rat. He actually was curious about this too. In the few days that had gone by it was clear that Darwin was surprisingly intelligent. He had to have inherited it from somewhere.

Darwin's snowy brow furrowed slightly. "Well I'm not entirely sure but when I escaped from the building, running through the laboratory where I got splashed with that green viscous fluid that changed me into my current form, I overheard one of the people say if I had escaped from the group of Enhanced Brain Function rats. I can only guess that I must have originally come from there. I don't think father even knew," the little rodent mused.

Darwin tapped several more buttons and gave out a squeak of satisfaction. "Yes!"

Raph's eyes snapped back to the screen.

"What is it Darwin?" Leo asked.

He beamed across at all of them and declared, quite proudly, "I'm in!"

~MNID~

The building schematics had been found and several points of entry were verified by Darwin's nimble claws.

"There are security measures at each point," Darwin pointed at the screen. "However since the basement lab is restricted access to only Stockman himself only he can unlock the DNA control panels, " the white rat peered at the screen and tapped a pink claw against his bottom lip.

"So, what are you sayin' that we can't even get past the first 'security gates' because we need Stinkman's blood to freakin' open it?" Raph scowled, wishing he could understand the plans the same way Darwin did.

Darwin wagged a finger as a thought obviously occurred to him. "Those are the main entrances but what if-," he narrowed his eyes as his fingers skipped across the keyboard again. "There was another, secret entrance. I saw it once, when Stockman returned with father wearing the metal suit," the small mutant winced. "I caught a glimpse of it from my tank after poor father was thrown into his room by one of the telescopic arms. It was an elevator! An industrial elevator! I just need to find it," the screen changed, picture after picture flicked up until Darwin hit a locked file.

"What's that Darwin?" Leo asked quietly.

Darwin cracked his knuckles and placed them on the keyboard, glancing across at the turtle in blue. "This, is your way in."

~MNID~

Raph had to hand it to the little guy, the kid had skill, the blueprints for the secret elevator were hacked open in less than ten minutes but it was agreed that it was too dangerous to have Darwin accompany them. When it came down to communication how they would keep in contact with each other if they got separated and to keep in contact with their little ratty guide (currently trying to hack the security cameras), Leonardo mentioned that Donnie had been working on some personal communicators which Mikey quickly dubbed as T-phones, yeah, well, whatever. That wasn't important, what was important was that they now had a more reliable way to keep tabs on each other. Raph had been so hellbent on thinking Donnie was building secret weapons to hurt them that it honestly never occurred to him that he was trying to help them, all the time he had been there.

Raph shook the horrid thought away. The T-phones were amazing, just like a cell phone but so much more sophisticated. There were so many apps! He must have written those as well. Half of them Raph didn't even understand what they did but the most useful programme was a GPS tracker. It suddenly boggled his mind at actually how clever Donnie was. He truly was a genius even more so than that slimy Stockman, Raph had no doubt. Donnie had designed the ECHOERS, then that psycho scientist had laid claim to them, repurposed them, re-named them and Raphael hated that man for it. He only wished he'd believed Donatello before, then this, this horrible situation would never had come to pass.

Raph tried to void his mind of those negatives emotions that would have only clouded his judgement as the group of them alighted upon the building closest to the Stocktronics skyscraper. "Huh," Raph cast his eyes to the very top uttering, "you'd think he was trying to compensate for something." He received a blank look from Mikey, a soft giggle from April and a faint scowl from Leo who swiftly took up his T-Phone and dialled a number.

"Darwin, we're here," he affirmed.

"Yep, I have you," the rat's voice sounded over the communicator. "You'll need the west side of the building, it'll look like a garage door."

"Affirmative Darwin."

Raph stared at Leo incredulously. "Affirmative? Seriously? Who are you, Captain Ryan?

Leo sighed, sliding his phone back in his belt. "C'mon," he said obviously deciding not to deign Raphael's statement with an answer.

~MNID~

Moments later they were poised in the shadows, out of sight of the security cameras as Darwin worked to bring them under his control. Raph watched as Leo held the T-phone to his ear, listening as their rodent hacker spoke.

"Right, okay. I've managed to loop the security camera feeds. Nobody will see you through them."

"Great, thanks Darwin."

They still used stealth to reach the door but such were the ways of a ninja, even if you would never be seen. Outside the unimpressive door (which to all who saw it would look like just an ordinary delivery door), Darwin talked Leo through overriding the control panel with April, and after what seemed like way too long for the resident hothead, the metal barrier started to rise.

"Finally," he muttered, ducking inside automatically before it was fully open. He must have tripped an unseen security because suddenly the door slammed down faster than it had risen, right behind him.

"Ah crap no!" he slammed his palm against the unyielding metal. "Hey Leo! What the hell you playing at!" he cried, not wanting to take responsibility of his impatient mistake, by feigning complete ignorance.

"Raph!" Leo pounded a fist from the other side. "It wasn't-," he stopped almost as if he were receiving instructions. "Sorry? Say that again Darwin. Oh, oh well, that's just great," he grumbled. "Raph, Darwin says you set off a silent alarm that automatically locks the door."

"And?" Raph grumped irritably.

"And he can't open it until he can cut the alarm."

Well, that sucked. "Where the hell does that leave me then?"

Leo's annoyance was quite clear from the tone of his voice. "That leaves you locked in the elevator until Darwin can get you out."

Nuts to that! He snatched his own T-phone from his belt and pressed speed dial. "Darwin! Forget about the alarm, get the elevator moving!"

"Raph! No! You're not going in there without backup!" Leo shouted from outside.

"Suck it Fearless!" Raphael retorted and returned to the conversation with Donnie's former pet rat. "Darwin, can you do that? Move the elevator without switching off the alarm?"

The voice that replied was terribly flustered. "Well, I-I," there was some frantic background tapping. "The elevator controls aren't connected to the door's alarm."

"Meaning?" Raphael tried not to sound impatient.

"Yes I can move the elevator."

"Do it."

"Raph! Don't-!"

"Stick it chief," Raph rumbled as the elevator's hydraulics sounded.

He heard Leonardo call Darwin back but it was far too late to make any difference. He wasn't going to let his little brother languish in the hands of that screwball for any longer than had too. If he was literally standing at the front door why would he stay on the other side just because he didn't have the key? He'd break the freaking the window open. Simple as. He could do this on his own. Really, how much of a fight would a that four eyed scientist put up? He'd smash him like the bug he was.

The elevator reached the bottom floor, and slowly opened. Raph, stuck to the shadows swiftly dialling Darwin and whispering, "I'm in."

"Understood Raphael. Let me access the feed, bear with me."

As Raph waited, his acidic green eyes scanned the immediate area outside the elevator doors. It definitely looked like a lab stroke workshop. A great airy space if he was to be honest. There were banks of computers, which lightly hummed with energy. To the left a rack of power tools of various shapes and sizes and purposes stood, flanked by a couple of workbenches where (he guessed) the geeky projects that his brother had helped with were constructed. Further on from that was an area dedicated to chemical experiments and the alike. There was a great glass cabinet filled with jars, bottles and test tubes of colourful but dubious contents. So this was where Donnie spent his days, working here under the watchful eye of Stinkman. He felt a painful pang in his breast.

"Raph?" The sudden voice made him jump. He'd almost forgotten he still had the phone pressed firmly to his ear.

"Yeah, what is it Darwin?" he whispered.

Darwin seemed to hesitate. "I've got good news and I've got bad news."

Raph frowned. "What's the good news?"

"Good news, is you're clear to enter the lab."

Raphael stepped into the laboratory and glanced about curiously. "So, what's the bad news?"

The rat fell silent for a moment.

"Darwin?"

"I've checked the camera feeds in every room," his voice wavered plaintively. "He's not here."

Raph stopped dead in tracks, his hand which gripped the phone slipped to his side and his stomach dropped. He issued a wordless sound of disbelief and his face then scrunched up. "No," he uttered. "NO!"

His desperate voice echoed throughout the lab. This wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair. If Donnie wasn't here in Suckman's stupid secret lab, _where the hell_ ** _was_** _he?!_

 **~MNID~**

 **Author's Note:**

 **And again I just want to thank all of you who have fav'd, followed and/or commented on this little story of mine. You guys truly make it all worth while and you really do brighten my day! You guys are the best! :D :D**


	17. Aftershock

**Alright, first off I would like to apologise for another long wait for the next chapter but December was a very stressfully month for me and I had no inspiration, at all for this story :( In all honesty I tried to do too much and on top of what I now know was the flu I was suffering from it was never gonna be a good recipe for anything creative. But finally I've gained a little time to myself and with that thought I managed to get this chapter finished.**

 **I would just like to apologise again. Yes it was a long wait and it's a short chapter I have to offer, I'm sorry for that but it's another chapter finished and posted. So, I hope you think this meagre offering is okay. I appreciate every single one of my readers, you keep me going and encourage me to keep moving forward. For that alone I thank you. :)**

 **SO without any further delay, get ready for a short sharp aftershock...**

 **~MNID~**

The cold floor beneath GP was as hard and unyielding as it ever was. He swallowed back the sobs of pain as the worst of the Shocker's effects subsided. He rolled onto his front, forearms supporting his weight, and glanced across the way seeing the bars that lined the 'cell' that he could see. He sniffed and rubbed the dampness from his eyes. He never thought he'd see this place again. The first space that Stockman brought him after he'd found him lost in the sewers.

GP finally sat up, hugging his knees as he stared across the way, surrounded by three walls of bars. Funny, he remembered this room being a lot bigger but then he was only two years old at the time. Now he felt like a mouse living in a shoe box, (a child's shoebox at that). If he stood in the centre of the room and spread his arms either side of him there was barely a hand's width of space between his fingertips and the bars. The length was no better. Lay him flat on his back and you would be lucky to get two of him in end to end.

A lump rose in his throat.

Why would Stockman bring him here of all places? Well, when he thought about it the answer to that question was actually rather simple. Nobody would find him here. He didn't even know where 'here' was. He never had. His bottom lip trembled but he bit down on it. Crying wasn't going to get him out of this predicament. GP reached out, leaning to the side to stroke the bars when he received a short sharp pain that pulled a painful yelp from his throat. That was new. The freaking bars were electrified. Brilliant.

This nightmare scenario was getting more soul destroying by the second. Why? Why would Stockman 'steal' him back? I mean really, did the man honestly think that GP would automatically say yes and help him with whatever new 'project' he had set his mind on? Er, no. Why the heck would he help? One thing the young teen knew for certain, he would never be Stockman's naive little slave again. Ever.

A scowl pulled at GP's features, his burning brown eyes glaring out at the laboratory beyond his cage. When he got the chance, he was going to make this hatefully individual sorry for doing this to him, just as things were starting to slip into place. He would make Stockman sorry for _everything_ he'd done that had ever hurt him, physically and emotionally.

His flesh beneath the new collar tingled and burned, and GP gingerly pushed a finger up and under the awful object, wincing as his calloused pad grazed the now tender skin. Damn. That really hurt. GP snorted in disgust. Oh yes, that horrible little man would pay dearly.


	18. New Plan

Raphael stood for a good minute, staring at the floor whilst Darwin's indistinct words hummed from his forgotten T-Phone that still dangled at his side. He was at a complete loss. His mind was blank and he had no clue as to what to do next. Donnie wasn't here. That fact kept resonating within his skull, blocking out any other helpful thought that would have pushed him forward.

"Raphael? RAPHAEL! Are you listening to me?"

His name being shouted over the T-phone made the sturdy teen start and he looked at the device as if he'd forgotten all about it. "Yeah, yeah I'm here Darwin I can hear you now."

"Leonardo told me to tell you to search the lab for clues to father- I mean your brother's whereabouts."

That was actually a good idea. "Understood Darwin," he responded quietly. "I'll call you if I find something."

"I'll let Leonardo know."

"Yeah, you do that," his despondency was still clear in his voice and he hung up before Darwin could reply again.

Tucking the phone away, Raph glanced around and tilted his head when he noticed what should have been heavily secured door. There was a video camera over the door and a security panel on the left hand side which seemed that you needed to press you palm up against it. The door was a slider and Raph let his scarred hand slip across it. It was ridiculously thick metal, whatever Stockman had previously kept locked in the room beyond must have been extremely valuable. Nobody was getting past all those securities, not without a terrible amount of effort.

Interest piqued, Raph passed through into the room beyond and stopped dead in his tracks. There was a sink and towel rack in the corner flanked by a toilet. A plain white toothbrush sat in a beaker by the sink and a bar of soap in a basic soap dish sat next to it with a green flannel folded up neatly beside it. On the opposite side of the room was a simple cot bed with a thin mattress, a blue blanket tucked in underneath. There was a bedside table and an anglepoise lamp and a bookshelf lined with mainly non fiction books from science, mathematics and history. Then flanking either side of the room as he entered were a pair of work benches. They mainly contained scientific equipment, which didn't look half as impressive as the stuff out in the main lab. There was as a large empty glass tank and Raph's brow creased slightly. Next to the tank was a laptop. His heart rate quickened and he opened it. Damn. Out of power. Maybe Darwin could get it working again.

Picking the computer up Raph felt a pang at his breast as he gazed around for a second time. That heavy duty door wasn't for keeping people out it was for keeping the occupant in. The mutant sighed deeply, "ah Donnie man," he uttered. "You really were a guinea pig in a cage weren't you?" How many hours a day was the kid locked up in this shoebox? The thought alone made his blood boil.

Realising there wasn't really much else that he could learn from Donnie's former prison Raph retraced his steps and began to check the main lab itself. He came up empty, finding nothing that would give any clues to Donatello's location. The more he searched the more his temper rose. He got to a point where he was ready to start throwing things around out of pure unadulterated frustration when he spotted a another sealed off room over to the left to where he had entered by.

Much to his surprise this door wasn't locked despite the further securities he discovered around it. He shoved open the door and paused in the threshold. There was a great metal examination table like they had in those csi programmes in the centre of the smallish room and a singular computer bank at the far end with a usb stick plugged into the hard drive. He'd seen Donnie use something similar on his self built computer way back when he was still stubbornly suspicious of him. Well, maybe he could figure out how to use it?

Raph placed Donnie's laptop down and slipped into the wheeled computer chair. He tapped the 'enter' button on the keyboard, recalling Darwin's fingers as they danced effortlessly across the keys back home. The blank monitor hummed into life and he squinted at the screen trying to figure out what to do next. He rested his hand on the wireless mouse, swearing as the pointer on the screen whipped across the desktop.

"Damn it!" He hissed irritably wiggling the annoying device across the workbench to find the blasted arrow again.

Suddenly his phone began ringing. Huffing in annoyance he answered with a gruff, "what?!"

A timid voice replied, "you only need to move the computer mouse by small increments Raphael."

Raph winced. "Sorry Darwin, thought you were Leo."

"It's okay Raphael, have you found something?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure. There's a memory stick or something plugged into the computer. I thought I'd try and see what was on it."

"Oh! Well that's quite easy," Darwin answered enthusiastically. "Down at the bottom left hand corner of the screen there should be an icon for a usb stick. Click on it and that should give you a drop down menu, then just click open. That should do it!"

Raph couldn't help but quirk a small smile. "Thanks Darwin, that helps a lot. I'll get back to you soon, okay?"

"Sure Raphael!" Was the chirpy response before he hung up.

Following Darwin's instructions Raph successfully opened the memory stick to be greeted with a series of files, one which looked like a video entitled 'Operation Exploration Turtle'. Frowning curiously the teen clicked on it, jumping slightly when the speakers started playing background noise from the film that now filled the screen. The picture showed the room he was currently in, it was empty for a fraction of a second before Baxter Stockman strode in pushing an occupied gurney. Immediately Raph's chest clenched. Laid on the examination table was Donatello.

It was with mounting horror that he watched Stockjerk remove the mutant's clothing and dump them in a box before picking up a dictor phone and begin talking into it.

"Subject, code name Guinea Pig has been prepped for examination after my encounter with three other humanoid turtles with seemingly identical mutations. It is hoped that by the end of this examination more information as to how to deal with these troublesome mutants will be gained. Subject has been drugged by ingestion with…"

Raphael hit the pause button. Holy shit. This, this was what Donnie had been trying to tell him about. He hesitated. Dare he watch any more? The teen's brow creased and he resumed the playback.

He briefly glanced at the video's length and his eye ridges raised. Seven hours? Seriously?? Stockman examined poor Donnie for seven whole hours!? He sped up the video randomly clicking at the four and a half hour mark. What he saw flipped his stomach over and made his chest clench so painfully he had to gasp for breath.

"Fuck," Raph uttered, hand raised to his mouth as he leant away from the screen. "Ah man," he dropped his eyes. "Donnie, I am so sorry," he murmured. When he finally looked back up he wore the darkest scowl.

Raphael watched with mounting fury as he observed the so called scientist reveal the most private part of themselves and continue his terrible examination. Raph's fists curled involuntarily, trembling with impotent rage. He slammed them either side of the computer making everything upon the worktop shake. "YOU SICK FUCK!!"

Raph ripped the memory stick out of the hard drive. "When I get my hands on you Stockman, I'll tear you apart!!" He bellowed. The usb stick safely tucked in his belt Raphael subsequently tore the computer from the wall and threw it across the room. It collided with a shocking force, the screen shattering on impact spewing glass and plastic shards across the immediate area. "No one molests my little brother and fucking gets away it!!"

It took a second to register that his t-phone was ringing. "Yeah, what is it?" He answered gruffly.

"Are-are you okay Raphael?"

"I'm great Darwin, how much of the video did you see through the freaking security cameras?" He demanded.

Darwin hesitated, obviously shocked by Raph's behaviour. "N-nothing. You were blocking the screen." He answered timidly.

Raph rolled his shoulders, marching resolutely from the despicable room. "Good because nobody needs to see what I just have."

"What does that mean?"

"Doesn't matter Darwin. Tell Leo I'm coming back up, there ain't anything useful down here that I can find apart from this," he said, holding up Donnie's laptop.

"Okay Raphael," Darwin answered quietly.

The industrial elevator doors opened, the alarm now thankfully switched off. As the doors shut, Raph scrubbed a fist across his damp eyes until no trace was left. If he'd felt bad when he'd physically let Donnie slip through his fingers, now he felt even worse. Damn it! Why? Why didn't he freaking listen?? It was a cry for help and he still had his stubborn fortifications up. Raph let out a shout of frustration and slammed his healing fist against the elevator wall.

Finally the doors slid open and he ducked out, thrusting the laptop into Leo hands before the startled turtle could say anything to rebuke him for his reckless actions.

"Have Darwin check this," he said bluntly, not looking at any of them. "I need some freaking air."

With that he took off, leaping for the nearest fire escape, hearing everyone's voices ring in his ears as he disappeared from their sights.

~MNID~

Raph didn't know how long he sat on that rooftop. Hugging his knees, eyes peering off into the distance wondering if any of the buildings could be the one that held Donnie. Hell, it wouldn't be that freaking simple, it never was. The teen sighed finally dipping his sights behind his folded arms. He should head back before Leo saw fit to send out a search party.

Reluctantly Raphael rose to his feet, flexing his fists as he did so. What he wouldn't do to punch that son of a bitch right in the nose and feel the bones break beneath his knuckles. That sorry excuse of a human being would never know what freaking hit him. That little jerk would pay for what he had done to Donnie.

When Raphael returned to the lair thirty minutes later he found everyone in the lab, Darwin hunched over the laptop that he had retrieved. He must have got it working again. He approached them silently before announcing his presence.

"Find anything?" Was the first thing he said.

Leo glanced across at him but despite the stern expression he said nothing in regards to Raph's actions from earlier. "Nothing," he answered for everyone. "Just personal logs and project plans." Leo then frowned staring at the ground, his mind clearly troubled. Raphael knew look instinctively by now.

"Leo?"

"Stockman punished Donnie, for the most ridiculous things. Withhold food from him, kept him locked up whenever he upset him-"

Without a conscious thought Raph approached his oldest brother and rested a hand upon his shoulder. He could feel everyone's eyes upon him but this time he didn't care. "We'll get the lowlife Leo."

"How?" Mikey's voice sounded behind him.

Raph didn't even hesitate. "We'll search every goddamned building under Stockman's name. He's gotta have Donnie stashed somewhere."

Leo caught his eye, Raphael recognised the look. For a rare moment they were on the same page. "Every single building," Leonardo repeated, then turning to the others who stared back intently he reiterated, "like Raph said, Stockman has to have him hidden away somewhere."

~MNID~

 **Sorry for the long wait dear readers. RL once again bobs up but I will continue to persevere with this story. I hope it reads okay, I'm always nervous when a chapter contains a lot of Raphael! Anyway, as always thank you for your continuing comments, favs and follows I appreciate it more than you know. It's what keeps me going and makes me strive to put out the very best for you my readers. You guys are the best and even the smallest comment means so much. Thank you**


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